Page 56 of His Team

Kayleen

“You seem distracted. What’s going on?” JR murmurs as he walks up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist.

“I just have a lot on my mind,” I say.

“Want to talk about it?”

“Look at these pictures. Your family, your parents, everyone looks so happy in them. When I look at photos in my home, something is always off. You know what else is different?”

I turn to look up at him. Everything about him is breathtaking. Even this home we’re in.

I say home because his family’s house is just that. You can feel the homeyness about it, as if the people who live here are bathed in love and comfort. I can’t remember the last time I felt that.

“When you look at the pictures around my house, they’re all filled with Cam and his family or me and Cam. The ones with smiles are all the ones with me, Cam, Cal, and Dakota.”

“Okay, you’re losing me.”

“I’ve lost myself. This wasn’t supposed to go on for this long. We’ve been together for almost four years, and I’ve been with Cam that entire time.

“I’m hurting someone I’ve loved all my life. I still feel guilty after we have sex. I feel like the most disgusting person in the world.”

“So you want to break things off with me?” he asks, taking a step back.

“That’s not what I said.” I run my hand through my hair. “I’m confused. I don’t know what to do. I love Cam, but I love you too.

“You’re what I want, but he’s what I’m supposed to want. My mama is already planning the wedding. I don’t know what to do,” I say, looking down at the ground.

“What’s your heart telling you to do, Kayleen? What makes you happy?”

“I don’t know. Being with Cam isn’t all bad. He’s caring and protective, but so are you. I just … I don’t know.”

“Why bring this up now? You had all break to say something. Why do this right before I have to go back?”

I begin to sob. I know the reason why, but I don’t tell him. I think Cam is starting to suspect something is off.

He’s been pulling away. Yeah, I’ve spent less time with him over this holiday break because JR is home, but when I’m with Cam, he’s not there with me, especially over the last few weeks.

“I don’t know. I just don’t want to end up like my parents with their weird relationship,” I sob.

“There’s nothing weird about their relationship. Your father divorced your mother to protect the both of you. They stayed divorced after the investigation was over just in case,” JR says.

I look up at him in shock. “How could you know that?”

“People talk. My mom is an attorney. I went from a criminal justice major to a biological sciences one. I think I can put two and two together. It’s not rocket science.”

“Don’t talk to me like that. I’m not dumb.”

“I didn’t say you were. Baby, calm down. I’m just trying to talk you through this.

“I know you feel this like I do. We belong together. Once I pick which league I want to enter, we’ll be set.

“I can give you all the things Cam can. We can be happy together. You don’t always have to do what your mom wants. You have a right to make your own choices,” he says while cupping my face in his palms.

I look up at him and search his gaze. My heart aches because I love him, but I don’t know if this is the right thing for me. Cam is safe. Cam is what my mama wants for me.

With Cam, I know we always have something to fall back on. Cam has his daddy’s business and his trust fund. Jareil’s family is really wealthy, but I get the feeling his mama doesn’t like me.

If his career goes south, I don’t know if his family would want to support us. Then there’s the fact that he’s Black. Messing around is one thing.

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