Page 1 of His Team

CHAPTER 1

Drowning

Cameron

I’m wide awake. Too much on my mind to fall asleep. Sitting up against my headboard, I reach for my phone and open my text messages.

I stare at the name of the person I want to text but hesitate. This could cause a bigger problem for my marriage. I close my eyes and blow out a breath.

It’s not like I can sit and do nothing. After all I’ve done to get here, I’m not going to allow some bullshit to come along and tear it all apart. I spent too much time second-guessing myself and what I wanted out of life.

Not knowing if friendship was enough to hold love together. Then learning, while it can be, it’s also not. Yet again, my character is being challenged.

It was so easy to point my twin brother’s shit out to him, but here I sit, looking at a big fucking problem and not knowing if this should be my next move.

I shake my head and go to close the app. However, my baby girl whimpers and shifts in the bed beside me. I look down at my little girl and smile.

She looks so much like a mix of her mother and me. Placing my phone down, I then lie back down and reach to brush my finger over my little girl’s silky curly locks. Inhaling her sweet baby scent, I allow myself to relax.

Placing a hand over her chest, I listen to the silence of the room while her little heartbeat hums through my palm. I didn’t know I wanted a daughter so much until she was placed in my arms for the first time. Rage fills me as I think of how the opportunity to have her was almost taken from me.

“Fuck this,” I mutter and sit back up.

I grab the phone and open the app again. This time I tap on the contact I’m looking for. I start the message, but my wife begins to toss and turn beside me and our daughter.

I freeze once again. As a man, I want to believe I’m about to do the right thing. Someone’s heart will be broken one way or the other.

However, I’m not responsible for everyone’s happiness. It took too long to understand that. I never want to cause that type of pain again, but that means dealing with this bullshit once and for all.

I sigh and toss the phone down. Still undecided on what I want to do. I climb from the bed and lift my daughter to place her in the crib. I’m going for a run to clear my head.

Once my baby girl is in her crib, I tug on a pair of basketball shorts and my sneakers. Next, I grab my arm strap for my phone. I stick my earbuds in my ears and head out of the house.

When I get to the sidewalk, I pull out my phone to find a song that speaks to my mood. I grunt when I come across the perfect song. “Crazy” by 50 Cent fits every feeling I have at the moment.

The song starts as I place my phone back in the strap. I get lost in the beat and take off down the block. We live in a nice community, not far from Caleb and Nicole.

It had been harder than I thought to be separated from my brother. So many times in my life, I’ve questioned my decisions. The one thing I can say I’m sure of is the support I’ve always given to Caleb.

I’m happy for him and his family. If only I could say my road has been as easy. Not that anything about Caleb’s life has been easy.

He just hasn’t made the dumb decisions I have. I’ve taken a fewLs. Our mama can be blamed for a lot, but it’s not all her fault. I was a grown-ass man when I started fucking up my own life.

My father’s voice floats through my head as I remember the words he spoke the night Caleb got engaged.You boys make me a proud father. You’re both fine young men.

I can’t help wondering if he still believes those words. That makes me doubt this choice even more. Now, if I make the wrong decision, I’ll be fucking it all up all over again.

This all could go bad. If things go south, I’ll lose it all and there will be no coming back this time. It seems like there is no right thing to do here.

“Fuck,” I roar.

I stop running and place my hands on my hips. I have kids and a wife to think about. The hothead in me knows what I want to do, but as my children’s faces flash in my head, I don’t know.

Daddy’s words continue to fill my head.God, I love you. You deserve this happiness; don’t let anyone take that from you.

I’m trying to follow those words and use them as my compass. However, I don’t know how to apply them now. This decision will make me someone else.

If I say no, this could come back and bite me in the long run. However, if this works out and no one ever finds out about it, I could be closing this door once and for all.

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