Page 36 of Syndicate of Sin Bundle

“My grandfather and your grandfather were business partners,” Cristian said to me.

I shook my head and crossed my arms over my chest to protect myself. Pain festered inside of me at the even deeper bottled-up memories that were slowly starting to seep into my brain. “No. You’re lying. My grandfather hated him.”

A look of hurt and sorrow crossed Cristian’s face for a moment. He went to grab my hand, but I pulled myself away from him and stared into his eyes, waiting for him to spew another lie so I could shoot it down. I didn’t want to remember. My entire body was telling me to run away now, so I couldn’t feel how I’d felt all those years ago. However that had felt.

“They stopped business when my grandfather found out what your grandfather had been doing to you.”

“Doing to me?” I asked, my voice somehow even smaller than it had been.

“I’m not going to say it aloud, Roxie. You know. You’ve just suppressed it.”

Tears welled up in my eyes as the memories burst through my head. I doubled over and curled up into a ball.

No … no. I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to even feel it. But all I could seem to feel now was Grandpa’s hands all over my body in places that they should never have been.

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With glossy eyes and flushed cheeks, Roxie continued to shake her head, as if she didn’t believe it or didn’t want to believe it. I’d never wanted to be the one to bring back those old memories, but she didn’t understand how much killing fuckers like her grandfather meant to me.

What he had done to her was fucking repulsive, disgusting, and sickening.

It’d screwed her up for fucking years and would continue to screw with her head.

“I’m doing this to protect you and any other fucking child from men like your grandfather,” I said as tears slid down her cheeks. “Pick yourself up. Stop crying. Face reality. What happened to you is happening to hundreds of other fucking kids, Roxie. That’s why I kill them, not because I fucking want to, but because they deserve it.”

I didn’t know where I was going with it, but I had to fucking get it out. For years, I had shielded myself away from her. For weeks, I had tried to be nice. The real, heartless Cristian was here now, and I couldn’t hold him back any longer. He wanted Roxie to be safe, to be his, and he wouldn’t let her go this time.

She slapped me hard across the face, then slammed her hands against my chest. “You can’t even be quiet for a fucking moment as I try to process everything you’ve told me.” She pushed me back. “I just learned that my grandfather molested me, and all you can talk about is yourself.” She pushed me harder until I was pressed against the railing, and then she smashed the side of her fist against my chest. “I hate you. I—” More tears streamed down her face, faster than they had before. “I hate you.” She shook her head and suddenly doubled over into me, face buried against my chest.

Out of instinct, I wrapped my arms around her to hold her up. If this were any other situation, I would’ve let her drop because intimate contact like this wasn’t my forte. Sure, I could fuck Roxie every night of the week … but having her cry tears in my arms, just comforting any girl, wasn’t my strong suit.

I wanted to tell her that it would all be okay, but it wouldn’t.

I would try hard to make it okay, to make this world better for her, but it would never be the same. Her family had ruined that a long time ago when they let her grandfather do that to her. If Roxie ever wanted me to, I’d kill them for her too. Anything to make her happy and make her mine.

“Why?” She sobbed and clutched on to me. “Why did he do that to me?”

I wrapped my arms around her harder and pulled her to my chest. I didn’t have an answer for her. I didn’t know what had gone through his sick mind to ever think it was acceptable to do that to a child.

“Answer me!” she shouted, though I knew her anger wasn’t really directed at me.

Instead of answering her, I held her tighter and stroked her hair, letting her cry into my chest and get it all out. After tonight, she wouldn’t be over it. This shit would haunt her for the rest of her life.

“Roxie,” I said, scooping her into my arms.

I walked with her over to the bed and lay down in it with her in my arms. She shifted in the bed until her head was against my scarred chest and clutched on to my waist.

I rubbed small circles on her shoulder. “Don’t give that man any of your tears. He doesn’t deserve it. Nobody like that does.”

I lay with her for hours, stroking her hair and hoping she’d fall asleep and get some rest. But she continued to twist and turn and grumble and cry to herself. She curled up into my chest like I’d always wanted her to do, but not like this.

After a few more moments, she sat up and looked down at me. I pushed some more tears off her cheeks and grasped her jaw, letting her lean into me.

She gave me a half-smile—a weak and trying half-smile—then frowned. “That’s why you hate people like that?” she asked. “Because of what my grandfather did to me?”

“Yes.”

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