Page 169 of Syndicate of Sin Bundle

I slammed my hand on the steering wheel and growled, “Fuck!”

Sage gripped her seat belt in fear and glanced over at me. “Are you okay?”

We both knew I wasn’t.

“I’m fine,” I said, blowing out a deep breath and reaching for the door.

Before I could open it, Sage gripped my wrist. “You can talk to me.”

But if I talked to her, if I opened up to her for the first time, she would realize how weak of a man I was. I’d never wanted to be this broken, this vulnerable to anyone but Laila. But Laila was slowly breaking my trust and breaking my fucking heart.

I clenched my teeth and gripped the steering wheel even tighter, not wanting to show her how broken this had made me. I couldn’t trust anyone anymore. My own brother—my own fucking brother—had betrayed me. Now Laila? It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fucking fair.

“I do everything for this family,” I said, my voice coming out shakier than I’d meant to, “fucking everything, and nobody cares. Nobody gives a fuck. All that everyone cares about is themselves. Even my wife.”

“Constantino …” Sage whispered. “That’s not true. Laila loves you.”

“Then, why?” I cried, pain etched into every fiber of my being. “Why does she keep choosing her over me? I am her fucking … husband, and she would choose Bethany over me any fucking day.”

“That’s not true,” Sage said. “She’s just hurting. I know it’s so fucking hard. And I haven’t even been married to her. I haven’t even been with her for more than a couple of weeks. But she …”

Sage couldn’t even finish her thought because we both knew it was bullshit.

Utter bullshit.

Hot tears built in my eyes. Sage undid her seat belt and took me into her arms, letting me rest my head on her shoulder. She gently ran a hand through my hair.

“Come here,” she cooed. “You can cry. You can let it all out. It’s just us.”

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constantino

I’d never cried over anyone, especially not in front of somebody who I … loved.

But as soon as Sage told me that I could let it all out, I couldn’t stop the tears from springing from my eyes and running down my cheeks. I couldn’t push back the pain any longer. My wife had hesitated to choose between me and her bitchy best friend.

How fucking terrible was that? I had never felt more like garbage.

Sage unbuckled my seat belt and laid my upper body on her lap, her fragile fingers running down my arm. My shoulders bucked back and forth, the heartache almost too unbearable. She trailed her fingers to my hair and gently stroked it.

“Why …” I cried, voice cracking.

I didn’t even know how to finish the sentence. I had so many questions that couldn’t be answered by Sage. So many rhetorical thoughts that I didn’t even know I would be able to answer myself.

Why had Laila hesitated? Why hadn’t she chosen me after everything we had been through, after I spent all my money on her and took her places, after I made sure that she was the happiest fucking woman on this planet? Why could nobody ever choose me?

“I don’t know,” Sage whispered, as if she understood. “I’m sorry.”

Wrapping my arm underneath hers, I grabbed her shoulder and pulled her closer. Thank fucking God that it was just us here and the windows were tinted because I would never ever let my guards—my men who trusted me—see me like this.

For this family, I always had to be the protector. But nobody ever protected me.

Sage wrapped her arms around my body and rested her head against mine. While I wanted to say that I had let Laila see me like this, I hadn’t. I hadn’t given Laila the option of seeing me this fucked up because I knew she wouldn’t know how to protect me.

She was even more broken than I was. I needed to shield her from more heartache.

As far as I knew, Sage was the only one of us who had her head on straight, who didn’t have trauma to unpack—at least not as badly as Laila and me. And breaking down in front of her didn’t feel like a burden.

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