Page 78 of Syndicate of Sin Bundle

Another tear fell down my cheek, my throat closing.

“I have regretted my choices every single day, and I don’t deserve to live any longer. End this now. Please. I’ve tried for so many years with planned falls, pills, everything. I just want it to end. End it, Roxie, please.”

My fingers shook, tears streaming down my face.

I pulled the trigger.

I put a bullet right through her heart.

I killed her.

And … I didn’t regret it.

“You didn’t win,” I said to the room of my murdered family, wiping the tears from my cheeks. “You might have thought that you did for a while, but you didn’t. Whatever you started began and ended with me. I’m going to make sure that nobody else feels my pain.”

65

roxie

Outside, Cristian called a couple of his men to come clean up my mess. They were to burn the bodies or dump them in the deepest depths of the ocean or throw them in the landfill, like the garbage they were. I didn’t know what they were going to do with four dead people, but I wasn’t going to ask. Cristian had done this hundreds of times before me. He knew what to do.

I walked into my old bedroom and closed the door behind me, the room eerily quiet and still neat, like I had left it years ago. Except the bedsheets, which were wrinkly in a few different spots. Walking over to the bed, I drew my fingers across the creases to smooth them out, only to see a picture of a young Roxie on the sheets and feel something crusty on the bedsheets.

Rage and disgust rushing through me, I grabbed the sheets in my bare fists and pulled them off the bed. Unable to stop myself, I ran around the room like a madwoman, knocking down tables and chairs and picture frames, throwing stuffed teddies and ceramic pots that I’d painted in sixth-grade art class against the walls.

Everything.

Every.

Fucking.

Thing.

It had all been violated in some way, shape, or form, my childhood ripped away and stolen from me. Nothing could ever be innocent, nothing okay. Everything of mine reminded me of them and what they had done to me, even after I was long gone.

After I punched holes in the walls until my fists bled, ripped off the wallpaper, and tore the room apart until no childish part of me was left, I collapsed onto the bed and let the tears race down my cheeks. I hated them so much—so fucking much.

I had come here for answers, but I’d just killed them instead.

Nothing felt better. I didn’t feel better. I didn’t know if I ever would.

This would forever be etched into my memory, would always be a sour taste on my tongue. I wouldn’t smile and tell my kids that their grandma and grandpa loved them, about all the wonderful stories I had about them. No, my kids would get nothing from them. Their lies, betrayal, and heartbreak ended with me.

“Are you okay?” Cristian asked from the doorway.

I glanced up through teary eyes, wondering how long he had been watching me. Had he witnessed my whole tornado of a disaster, ripping apart everything that I’d once called home, everything I’d thought was safety and security?

“No,” I whispered truthfully, “I’m not okay.”

He walked into the room and sat on the edge of my bed, pulling me into his arms. I curled up into a ball and sobbed into his chest, hitting him to get my anger out because I knew he’d let me. It wasn’t right; he hadn’t done anything wrong, but … I couldn’t keep it in any longer.

“Why?” I screamed. “Why? Why? Why? That’s all I keep asking myself.”

“It’s not your fault, principessa,” Cristian said, placing a kiss on my forehead. “Don’t blame yourself for them being sick pieces of shit. You did nothing wrong, and you wouldn’t have been able to fix them if you’d tried.”

But his words didn’t make me feel any better. Even though he was a hundred percent right, I knew that I would blame myself for this for weeks, months, maybe even years to come. I couldn’t fathom anything that had happened, didn’t know if I ever could.

When I finally gathered enough strength to pull away from him, I wiped my wet eyes. “I want to stop this. I want to help you and Chiara in some way. We need to clean up the family and get rid of anyone who has ever done something like this.”

Cristian picked me up and set me on my feet. “My girl.”

After taking my hand, he pulled me down the hallway. As I walked through the house, I stepped in something wet, which smelled like … gas. When we reached the front door, Cristian pulled a match out of his pocket, lit it, and handed it to me.

“Do the honors. End this for good.”

I grabbed the lit match from him, tossed it behind us, and walked away with him as flames engulfed my childhood home. This wasn’t the end, like Cristian had said. This was just the beginning, and I planned to rain fire down upon all the people who had taken advantage of helpless children.

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