Page 7 of Denial

“That’s never a good thing to hear from your mouth, Hope,” he says, turning and giving me his full attention as Deegan moves away from us where he’s cleaning behind the bar.

“I know you’re staying away from Jinx because you feel as if he’s hurting me. Yeah, I want to be with him, but he doesn’t feel the same. I’ve come to accept that I’ll never be with him. It’s time for you to accept that too. Jinx has made his choice and Morgan is the one he wants to be with. Right now she’s hurt and he’s barely left her side from what I’ve seen and heard from everyone. The Phantom girls feel as if it’s just a matter of time before he’s claiming her as his ol’ lady. Instead of keeping your distance, you need to be there for your best friend. You’re both fucking up this friendship you’ve had for as long as any of us can remember. Be the bigger man and go be there for him,” I tell my cousin as his face goes blank and I know he’s going to retreat from this conversation and I’m not going to let it happen.

“I’ve done nothin’ wrong, Hope. Jinx is the one fuckin’ up,” King says as I pull away from him and sit on the stool without touching my cousin and seeking the comfort he gives me.

“Yeah, you have. After your accident, you retreated into a shell and locked all of us out. It took the patching in ceremony for you to tell anyone you weren’t going to join the club. Then, when Uncle Fox and my dad took you out for a ride and got you back on your bike, Jinx was left in the clubhouse to wait with the rest of us to find out what was going on. None of us knew you were scared to get back on your bike. If anyone should have had that information, it’s Jinx. He would’ve helped you or been there for you when you rode that first time. You locked him out and only let him back in when Uncle Fox got you a new sport bike. Now, he’s keeping things from you about his relationship with Morgan. I know they both say there’s nothing more than friendship between the two of them, but this proves that’s not the truth. Jinx needs someone to talk to. Be that person for him, King. You’ve always had his back and I don’t want that to stop because you feel as if you have to for me.”

King doesn’t say anything for a long time. My cousin looked down at me with a frown on his face. He doesn’t remove his eyes from me and I let him search for whatever it is he’s looking for.

“Hope, you know I love ya. You’re my cousin and I’ll always have your back. Are you sure you can get over Jinx? You’ve loved him for as long as any of us can remember,” King finally asks me, his voice barely above a whisper as he leans closer to me.

“I have no choice in the matter, King. Jinx has made his decision as I said. Morgan is who he wants and I’m nothing more than a girl he spent time with growing up. I’m the one who got it in my head that I could have more with him. No matter how many girls I watched him fuck with over the years, I still made myself believe that we’d end up together. Clearly, I was delusional and Jinx has never seen me as anything. It’s okay, King. Eventually I will get over him and he won’t have the power to continue breaking me the way he has,” tears fill my eyes as I see the man in question enter the common room and stare at my cousin and me for a second before turning away once again.

Nudging King, he turns to see his best friend enter the kitchen. Grabbing my things, I tell him to go to his best friend before disappearing from the room. I head up to my bedroom here and think of the apartments that I’ve seen. Vault and I talked to my dad and he surprisingly didn’t lose his shit when we told him that I was interested in three of the apartments I looked at with Vault and King. One of them isn’t an apartment but a small house. That’s the one I truly want because it’s private and close to the clubhouse. My dad isn’t willing to give his approval until he can check out the places for himself and talk to the landlord to ensure that the guys can improve the security measures to keep me safe and that I’ll be taken care of. So, I’m waiting for him to get to town so I can get the hell out of the clubhouse. Watching Jinx with Morgan is killing me slowly despite the brave face I try to put on for everyone.

It's been two days since I talked to my cousin and he’s starting to repair his friendship with Jinx. The two of them have talked about everything and are now focused on moving forward. King is spending time with Jinx in Morgan’s room so she’s not alone so I don’t get to see my cousin, but that’s okay. Soon, I hopefully won’t have to worry about seeing him on a daily basis. I’m happy that the two of them are repairing what was broken, but at the same time it hurts because I know those two need to spend time together. King also needs to get to know his best friend’s girl. They’ll be spending a ton of time together moving forward so it’s only right that I’m out of the way and let the three of them build a solid foundation to move forward with.

I’m happy for King and Jinx to fix their friendship. Does it mean I’ll miss my cousin? Yeah, it does. I want him to be happy and the happiest I’ve ever seen him is when he’s riding his bikes, laughing with Jinx, and hanging out with Zoey. I’d rather be completely alone if it means King doesn’t lose another second of happiness and he surrounds himself with those who truly want the best for him. Jinx is definitely someone who wants nothing but the best with him. He always has and always will.

Leaving the clubhouse, I know I’ll once again be the first one at the auto parts store because I am every single day. Driving through town, I blast my music so loud and try to force the thoughts about Jinx and Morgan out of my mind. They’re the last two people I need to be thinking about today. Or any day if I’m being honest. It won’t allow me to move on if I fixate on the couple and what they’re doing with their lives and relationship.

Pulling into the back lot of the auto store, I shut my car off and get out before moving to the back door. Unlocking it, I enter the building and quickly shut off the security system. When it’s off and I know for a fact that it won’t send the cops here, I head for the breakroom and start the pot of coffee. Even though I know Raptor will have a few cups before he comes in for the day, he still needs his coffee while he’s here. I have one cup in the morning and nothing more than that. After grabbing a bottle of water, I head for my office, leaving all the lights off in the store. I won’t turn them on until it’s time to open. I learned my lesson really quick about doing that.

One morning a few weeks ago, I was here and turned the lights on for the guys. Someone thought that meant we were open for business and started pounding on the door. When I nicely explained that we weren’t open yet, the man became irate and called me all sorts of names. It wasn’t until he started to threaten me and look around the parking lot for something to break the windows in the door out with that I became terrified. Calling Raptor, I made sure he was on his way and told him what the guy was doing. It seemed as if everyone showed up at the same time and dealt with him instead of calling the cops to take care of him. Vault and King were both pissed as fuck that I didn’t call them to help with the guy. It’s not their responsibility to take care of me and neither one of them work at Phantom Auto.

After getting myself situated for the day, I look at the time to find that we have about five minutes until the doors open. I haven’t heard anyone here as I stand from my chair and head for Raptor’s office. Letting myself in, I go to the safe and grab the drawers to put in the registers since the guys typically deal with this and no one’s going to do it before we open. It takes more than a second or two considering we have to count the drawer and sign off on it before we put it in.

With the drawers in my hands, I make my way through the hall and toward the front of the store. Still, I hear no one entering the building as I begin to do the counts and then sign off on the paperwork while turning on the registers and getting them ready to go for the day. When no one is still here and it’s time for me to open the store a sliver of fear rolls through me with the thought of being here alone and something like with that guy happening again. This is one of the reasons I wasn’t supposed to be here alone. Vault made it perfectly clear to everyone that any woman who works in one of the club’s businesses is not to be alone for any reason. Well, it looks like that’s not the case today as I turn on the lights and then make my way to open the front door.

Opening the door, I let in the lone customer who is patiently waiting. He offers me a smile I return and heads for the front counter as I let the door close and follow him.

“Good morning. How can I help you today?” I ask him, standing at the first computer that I always use as mine just in case the store gets busy and I need to be out here with the guys.

“Name is Becker Timmons. I placed an order yesterday and I’m here to pick it up,” he answers as I take a look at the man standing in front of me.

He certainly doesn’t look like a man who works on cars or any other kind of vehicle. His hands look so soft and there isn’t a speck of dirt or grease under his nails. If anything, I’d say he was just in for a manicure with how clean and fresh looking they appear. Becker is wearing a pair of pressed pants that are almost dress pants and a polo shirt. There isn’t a single wrinkle in his clothing as I look up to his hair. Black hair is cut close to his head and not a single strand is out of place. It looks as if he’s got pounds of product keeping it in place and I’m not kidding about that.

Typing away on the keyboard as soon as I take in his appearance, I find the order he placed and look at the end of the counter where it’s supposed to be stored. The guys pulled it yesterday and I find it all in a box with his last name on the front. Placing the box on the counter, I pull everything out as Raptor wants us to do and ring it up to make sure everything he ordered is here and ready for him to go. After matching it all up with the computer and ringing him up, I give Becker his total. He hands over a black credit card and I quickly ring it through.

“So, what’s your name, pretty girl?” Becker asks me as I listen for any sound of the guys coming to work for the day.

“My name’s Hope,” I tell him, giving him another smile.

Becker is by no means my type of guy. He’s too perfect and uptight looking for me. I’d rather have a bad boy that’s brutally honest than this kind of guy. Still, it is nice to be admired and called pretty by a guy. It’s been a very long time since a guy has talked to me because of Jinx. I know he’s the one who is getting every guy to leave me alone. Apparently he doesn’t want to be with me, but no one else can be with me either. I don’t get that kind of mentality, but it’s not for me to question I guess.

“That’s a beautiful name, Hope. What do I have to do in order to take you to dinner?” Becker asks me, smiling even larger as he looks me up and down from head to toe.

I get the chills and it’s not a good thing.

“I’m not really dating right now,” I tell him, hesitation filling my voice as I box his parts back up and wait for the card to go through.

“There’s nothing I can do to persuade you?” he tries again, reminding me of the asshole Savannah dealt with before Valor and her got together.

“I don’t think so. I haven’t been here that long and I’m still trying to find my way,” I say, using being new to the area as an excuse not to go out with Becker.

“Well, that’s the perfect reason for you to say yes. I can show you around Pine View and make sure you learn where all the best places are,” Becker says, leaning on the counter and ignoring the card I’m holding out to him.

Taking a deep breath, I throw caution to the wind and look at Becker again.

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