Page 12 of Denial

“If I had talked to you when we left Benton Falls, Hope wouldn’t have given Becker a chance to get close to her. I’d be at her side and she would’ve been with me instead. Killer, everythin’ you saw and heard when I was growin’ up is nothin’ more than a lie,” I tell him before taking a deep breath so I can continue on with what I have to say. “When you all saw me goin’ out on dates and seein’ a different girl on a regular basis, all that happened but it wasn’t what it looked like. Never once were those actual dates with the girls. It was more of hangin’ out because neither one of us wanted to spend a weekend sittin’ home while everyone else was out. We never kissed, made it appear as if we were more than friends, or anythin’ else. Killer, bein’ completely open and honest with you right now, I’m still a virgin. I’ve never had sex with anyone because all those girls aren’t Hope.”

Killer doesn’t say anything for several minutes before he leans closer to me.

“You’re tellin’ me that you’re still a virgin and have been savin’ yourself for my daughter?” he questions me, anger not filling his voice as I expected to hear from him.

“I am. Killer, I know I’ll never be good enough for Hope. There isn’t a man on Earth who will ever be good enough for your daughter. Either one of them. And I don’t want her because of how beautiful she is on the outside or to have sex with her. I started to fall in love with Hope when I started to realize how big her heart is. She always wants to help everyone around her and make sure she’s there for everyone. She’d go without every day of her life just to make someone else’s life a fraction easier than it currently is. I’ve watched her develop the fire that’s deep inside her and only comes out when she’s defendin’ someone she loves. Hope wears her heart on her sleeve and you can clearly see every emotion she feels if you only take a second to look at her.

“I love how she’s not afraid to get her hands dirty and will help any guy in this club fix his bike. If someone is stranded on the side of the road, Hope will be the first one to pull over in order to help them. She’ll actually know what’s wrong with the vehicle too. Hope knows how to kick ass because of you and the rest of our dads. She’s not fake, manipulative, or anythin’ else that we’ve all been taught to watch for over the years. With Hope, you get what you see and she’ll never pretend to be someone other than herself. Killer, I fell in love with your daughter and have loved her for so long now. I’ve been in denial about my feelings for her and I’m truly sorry for that.

“I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me for the way I’ve acted over the years, but I’m willin’ to prove to her and everyone else that I’m a man she can be proud to call her own. I’ll make you proud to have me at your daughter’s side and know that I won’t ever intentionally hurt her. Eventually I want to claim her as my ol’ lady and marry her for the world to see. I want to give her the kids she wants and be there for every single part of her life. There isn’t anythin’ I won’t do for Hope. I’ll give her the world and everythin’ she could ever want from a relationship while burnin’ down anyone who wants to hurt her,” I tell Killer honestly as he stares at me and doesn’t blink or say anything in response for a long time.

Killer is silent for so long that I start to sweat and wonder if any of this means a damn thing. I wouldn’t blame him for telling me to stay the fuck away from his daughter and never talk to her again. Just as I go to stand from my seat and leave him alone, Killer stops me.

“Carson, you’ve always had my blessin’ to be with Hope. I was just waitin’ on you to come talk to me about things. And I already know all about the girls in high school. Your dad and I were worried about all the dates you were goin’ on. He was scared you were gonna make him a grandpa before you graduated from high school and I can see where he was comin’ from. I mean, we all had our wild days and didn’t want ol’ ladies of our own so we fucked any woman who threw themselves at us. When we saw you and some of the girls studyin’ or barely talkin’ we knew everythin’ wasn’t as it seemed. That’s when I knew exactly what you were doin’.

“So, yeah, you’ve got my blessin’ to be with Hope. If you can convince her to be with you. My daughter is stubborn as fuck and you’re gonna have a fight to make her see that you really want her after everythin’. Once she gives you a shot, you’re golden. But you already know that. Give her a few days to process what happened to her and then have a conversation. Be completely honest and don’t hold anythin’ back. My girl deserves to know the absolute truth of your past and how you feel about her,” Killer says, shocking the hell out of me as I take the hand he’s holding out to me and shake.

After telling me to get some sleep, Killer leaves me in the common room to go back up to his daughter’s room. It’s not long before I’m following him upstairs and letting myself into my bedroom. Without taking more than my boots off, I practically fall into bed and fall asleep the second my head hits the pillow. I’m completely drained and need a few hours before I get up and start forming a plan to get close enough to Hope so we can have a conversation.

Chapter Eight

Hope

MY PARENTS SHOWING up late last night and talking to me about the Becker situation was exactly what I needed. I know my dad is pissed as hell and he wants to shred the damn world apart to get to the asshole and rip him limb from limb. If I tell him not to, he won’t do anything, but I’m done being that girl. I won’t stop my dad from doing anything he wants to the stupid fuck who believes it’s okay to drug women and fuck them without their consent. If Becker wasn’t such an asshole, he’d be able to get any woman he wants. However, because of his attitude and the superiority complex he has, no one is ever going to want to be with him. Especially a woman who knows her worth and won’t accept anything less than what she truly deserves. It still doesn’t excuse him using drugs to get what he wants so my dad can torture him for as long as he wants before ending Becker’s miserable, pathetic life. I’ll happily stand back and watch it happen after getting in a hit or two on the fucker for his attempted attack on me.

Since I slept the day away, Raptor told me not to go into Phantom Auto until after dinner to start inventory. I was supposed to be there late last night before all this shit happened. So, we’re pushing it back a day and I’ll get it done tonight. For now, since no one is cooking dinner for anyone in the clubhouse, I’ve taken it upon myself to cook for everyone so there’s a meal before I head out to the shop to get inventory started. I work on making stuffed shells because it’s quick and easy and I can cook for a ton of people at once. I’ve also got garlic bread prepared to put in the oven and a large salad in the refrigerator waiting to be pulled out.

“Can you believe that Morgan actually did it?” I hear a female ask without turning around to see who’s talking.

“What exactly did she do? I don’t see her doing anything right now. She’s not even working the bar and hasn’t gotten in trouble for staying in her room and doing nothing. If anyone ever sees us not doing something, we get in trouble,” a second woman whines, her voice grating on my nerves.

“She landed the club’s VP. Jinx and her are together and that means everything is gonna change for us. Morgan can ensure we don’t have to do all the stupid cleaning, cooking, and all that other bullshit they think we should be doing just to stay here and fuck a biker or two. When I came here, it wasn’t to be a glorified maid. I came here to fuck bikers and claw my way to the top of the food chain. Vault is very loyal to his wife, but if I have my way, she’ll be history in a matter of weeks as I take her spot,” the first voice says, making anger fill me in ways I haven’t experienced in a very long time.

Annabell is one of the best people I’ve ever met in my life and I won’t sit by and let anyone talk shit about her like this. Vault won’t ever leave her for some fucking skank who wants to fuck a biker and make sure she becomes his ol’ lady. This bitch has no clue what being an ol’ lady means or that it’s for life. It’s the reason I start laughing my ass off as I turn to face the two skanks sitting at a table in the kitchen.

“What the fuck are you laughing at, bitch?” the first girl questions me, her face contorted in anger as she looks me up and down.

“I’m laughing at the absolute bullshit that just came out of your mouth. If you knew anything about club life, you’d know becoming an ol’ lady is for life. It’s not like being married where you can get a divorce if things don’t work out between the couple. In this world, it’s why the guys take a long time to figure out who they want in their life. Annabell and Vault have years of history behind their relationship. They’ve both overcome so much shit and still managed to find a way to be together. When you came into the clubhouse as a Phantom girl, you accepted what that meant in your life. It means you clean, cook, do whatever is asked of you, and at the end of the day, you get to fuck the men here if they choose you. You will never be an ol’ lady to anyone in this club. They won’t make a skank a wife. Because that’s what an ol’ lady is. I suggest you get that ridiculous idea out of your mind now before you end up out on your ass with no way back into another club,” I state, watching as the girl gets out of her seat and makes her way over to me.

“I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but you’re nothing in this club. We rank above you and you know it. Instead of eavesdropping on conversations that have nothing to do with you, I suggest you get to work and make our dinner,” the woman says walking over to stand in front of me with a glare on her face that would bury me six feet under if I were truly scared of her or gave a damn about what she thought.

“Actually, you don’t rank above me. I’m the daughter of a member and will always come right after the ol’ ladies. Another thing you should know is there is a hierarchy to the club and these men don’t appreciate anyone who tries to overthrow that shit. I don’t have to clean, cook, or do anything in this clubhouse that I don’t wanna do. I’m doing this because it appears the Phantom girls currently in the clubhouse are lazy fucks who only know how to think about cock. Another tip, the more the guys see you doing nothing to help out here, the less you’ll be fucking them. And Annabell is a badass who will fucking boot your asses for doing nothing. One more thing, this food isn’t for you. It’s for the people who actually work in the clubhouse, are members of the club, and who aren’t raging skanks,” I state, already knowing this bitch is going to try and hit me as she steps up even closer.

“At least we don’t choose men who drug us,” she taunts me, making my entire body go tight with tension and rage.

I snap. Throwing a fist, I punch the bitch right in her nose. She screams out as the sound of crunching fills the kitchen. I watch on as she drops to the floor in front of me with her hand over her nose as blood flows freely.

“What the fuck is your problem?” the second skank screams out, rushing to the first one’s side. “You’re the bitch who wants Jinx, aren’t you? How does it feel to know that he chose Morgan over you? You think you’re better than everyone here and that should show you that you’re nothing. Especially to the VP of the club.”

Pain fills me and my heart breaks a little more with her words. She definitely hit her mark by saying that to me.

“As long as Jinx is happy, it feels great to know that he’s with someone who will love him. And unlike the rest of you, I’m not a fucking homewrecker who doesn’t give a fuck about that shit. If Morgan makes Jinx happy, that’s all that matters. I suggest you get Skank One out of the kitchen and then you can clean up her blood. You know, something that you should be doing around here,” I state as the girls continue to make a ton of noise about nothing at all.

“What the hell is goin’ on in here?” Vault asks as my dad, Fox, and him rush into the kitchen.

“Well, as you can see, I was making dinner because once again no one was doing it. These two came in talking about how Morgan landed Jinx so that means everything will change and they won’t be forced to clean, cook, or anything else that they’re supposed to be doing. Then the one on the ground started talking about how it’s just a matter of time before she makes you leave Annabell and she becomes your new ol’ lady. I was kindly explaining how things work here since they don’t have a fucking clue. She was going to hit me, so I hit her first. I’m done being walked all over. And then the second skank decided to rub it in my face that Jinx has chosen to be with Morgan and that I’m nothing. Apparently that also means that I rank below the skanks in the club’s hierarchy,” I answer Vault as my dad makes his way over to me and wraps me in his arms.

I’m trying hard to be strong and not break down in front of everyone. Right now, all I want to do is cry with the thought of Jinx being with Morgan in a way I’ll never have him. Morgan will have his love, family, and everything else that comes with being with Jinx. I’ll watch from the sidelines as they live their lives and he gets everything he’s ever wanted.

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