Page 5 of Denial

“I walked into the common room to see my cousin fucking some Phantom girl last night, Vault. That’s not anything I need to see again. I’ve seen more of you fucking than I ever need to over the years. I feel as though I’m a burden here and don’t have the freedom everyone else does. Today, I learned that freedom is even less than I imagined. It’s worse than living with my dad and him wanting to control every aspect of my life,” I state, anger and pain filling me all over again.

“What the fuck happened?” King explodes, standing from the couch as Vault stands with him to hold him back from coming closer to me while I flinch from my seat on the edge of my bed.

“I overheard a conversation at work. Remember when I asked if you were telling guys to stay away from me?” I ask my cousin and look at him to see his nod in response to my question. “Well, I found out who’s been telling everyone to leave me alone. It’s Jinx. Bronx was at The Den with Liam last night and said he was thinking about asking me out. Jinx apparently told him I’m off limits and not to even think about asking me out. I have no clue why the fuck he’d do that shit when he’s clearly involved with Morgan. He has no say in who I date or talk to. I can’t live like this. If I can’t get my own place here, then I might have to talk to my dad about leaving Pine View and moving somewhere else. I don’t want to leave you guys, but I have to think of myself right now and I’m not willing to be around Jinx and the games he wants to play,” I inform them as Vault literally has to hold my cousin back from tearing out of my room in search of his best friend.

It takes several long minutes for Kingston to calm down before he retakes his seat on the couch and Vault joins him. Both men look at me as tears once again fill my eyes and threaten to spill over.

“Okay, Hope. Do you have places in mind?” Vault finally says as I grab the papers I printed out at work and hand them over to him.

King and Vault look over the apartment listings and put a few off to the side. The rest are thrown in the garbage and I take it they know something about the owner or location that I don’t. At least they didn’t throw all of them away on me.

“Set up appointments to go look at these ones. King and I will go with you so we can make sure you’ll be safe. Once you’ve made a decision, I’ll call Killer with you and assure him that I won’t go a day without seein’ you and that King will also personally check on you daily. That’s the only way he’s gonna let you do this,” Vault states and I get up from my bed and give him a hug as he stands. King remains sitting on the couch and I know he’s gonna stay with me for a while.

“Thank you, Vault. I’ll call in a minute to set things up and let you know.”

Vault leaves the room and makes sure the door is closed behind him. I don’t leave my bed and wait for King to say what he has to say. It doesn’t take long.

“Jinx is my best friend and we’ve always been closer than brothers. I thought one day he’d pull his head from his ass and claim you as his. Now he’s got this shit goin’ on with Morgan. I want to believe him when he says they’re just friends, but I’m not sure any longer. He’s been upset with me since he learned that I was gonna quit the club and was scared to get on my bike again. I didn’t talk to him about it before droppin’ that bomb to Slim and my family. Includin’ your dad. My first ride with Killer and my dad didn’t involve him either,” King says, his voice full of regret and guilt as he sits back against the couch and I make my way over to sit with him.

“Kingston, you went through a horrible experience and it’s no wonder you have trauma from the accident and everything you’re still going through regarding it. I know if I were you, I wouldn’t have opened up to everyone in my life. I would’ve held back just like you did. You have your right to the feelings you have about the accident and how it makes you feel. If Jinx can’t understand that shit, then he’s a shit friend. The fact that he’s holding this against you all these months later means he’s a shit friend in my book,” I tell my cousin as I lean into his side and he wraps his arm around my shoulders.

“He’s not a shit friend, Hope. This with you makes him a shitty person. But, he’s a really good guy and you shouldn’t believe everythin’ you think is true about him. If anyone knows him and what he’s done over the years, it’s me and only me. I know everythin’ about Jinx and what he’s been up to over the years. That’s why I’m so surprised that he hasn’t gone to Killer yet and talked to him about you. I just don’t know what game he’s playin’ lately,” my cousin says as we let those words settle between us and sit in silence.

I spend the rest of the day with King. After making my calls and setting up appointments to view the apartments they kept, I send a message to Vault. King has one of the Prospects, Deegan, bring us up dinner so we don’t have to go down to the common room. Neither one of us wants to be around everyone else right now and that’s okay. We’re good spending time together as a family since we’re all we have here in Pine View. It’s a good night; one of the best I’ve had in a very long time.

Chapter Three

Jinx

WORKING AT THE Den during the day when it’s closed and no one else is around fills me with a sense of peace that I don’t typically feel when I’m at the clubhouse or anywhere else. I’m completely alone and can not only complete the work I need to get done, but I can think about everything going on in my life that I’m fucking up. Everything with Hope is a clusterfuck and it’s because of me and only me. I’ve been spending all of my time with Morgan and our friendship has essentially taken over everything. There’s no boundaries in place between the two of us and it’s because I haven’t said anything to her about things. Yeah, she knows I want to be with Hope and that I plan on having a conversation with Killer. Still, neither one of us are making it clear to those around us that we’re not together, I’m not fucking her, and I don’t want anything more than friendship from Morgan. She’s a good girl and is still healing from her ex who put her through hell all because he felt he could. The guy has gone underground and none of us can find him.

King and I are hardly talking. It’s been almost a week since the day Hope came in the clubhouse upset. We don’t hang out the way we’ve done our entire lives and he doesn’t confide in me about anything. I can’t blame him, but it’s not like I’m not pissed at him too. King held back how he was truly feeling after the crash that almost took his life and didn’t let me in. He didn’t let anyone in until the day we were all getting patched into the club as full members. Even then, I found out with everyone else because Fox and Killer were the only two who went out with him and got him back on a bike. I wanted to be there for my best friend and I couldn’t be because he wouldn’t let me in. Now, he feels as if I’m not letting him in and keeping what’s really going on between Morgan and myself from everyone in the club. If I were fucking her, he’d know. Maybe I should put some space between the two of us, but the damage has already been done and I know it won’t matter to King or Hope what I do now.

I know Hope talked to Vault and her cousin that day a week ago, but none of them have told us what the conversation was about. I want to know what’s going on, but I don’t have the right to anything Hope doesn’t want to share with me. That’s been made perfectly clear over the last few days when she walks in a room I’m in and stops talking or laughing. I know it’s all fake as fuck because her smile doesn’t reach her eyes and when no one’s paying attention to her, Hope’s face is withdrawn and closed off. Hope loves to smile, laugh, and have a great time. I’m taking that from her because of my friendship with another woman. It’s honestly ridiculous that I would have to lose a friendship to be with Hope. I’m not ready to leave Morgan alone when I know Hope wants nothing to do with me. I’ve lost my chance with her and I’m not sure if I’ll ever get one back again. She’s too hurt by my actions over the years and I can’t blame her.

Cleaning the bar after removing everything from the counters, I let my mind wander to Hope and the way she’s been acting over the last few days. About how she looks. Hope’s face is pale and she’s got those dark circles under her eyes telling us all she’s not sleeping. Whenever she’s in the common room or kitchen with everyone at meal times, I watch her push her food around her plate more than putting anything inside to eat. Hope doesn’t ever play with her food and she loves to eat. These days she doesn’t seem to have an appetite and she’s not sleeping. I know King has noticed because he keeps giving his cousin worried looks and rarely leaves her side when they’re both at the clubhouse. Annabell and Savanna aren’t really leaving her alone either. I’d like to know what’s going on because I’m really worried about her, but I can’t talk to the girl I want. Not when she actively avoids me and makes it perfectly clear I’m not someone she wants anything to do with right now.

After cleaning off all the shelves and putting everything back in its place, I begin cleaning the bar. It was cleaned last night, but I’ve already gotten my paperwork completed, the order is checked in and put away, everything is stocked behind the bar, and there’s really nothing else to do. I don’t want to return to the clubhouse until I have to come back here when it’s time to open. Morgan, the Phantom girls, and the Prospects should be the only ones at the clubhouse and I don’t want to see Morgan right now. Morgan did tell me that she wouldn’t blame me if I don’t spend time with her anymore, but I can’t do that to her. I’m the only person she talks to about everything and I know trust doesn’t come easy to her. Her ex ripped that from her and I won’t let her keep everything locked inside to fester until she explodes and causes damage she might not be able to come back from.

I’m sitting on a stool with a bottle of water in front of me when my phone starts to vibrate on top of the bar. Looking down, I see Morgan’s name on the screen and internally debate answering the call or letting it go to voicemail. Something deep in my gut tells me to answer the phone.

“I’m at work, Morgan,” I answer the phone, trying to keep the confusion and anger out of my voice because she doesn’t deserve it.

“I-I-I k-k-know, Jinx. I-I-I need help,” she says, her voice broken as I hear the pain filling it and I’m instantly alert.

“What’s wrong, Morgan?” I’m already pushing off the stool and tossing the water bottle in the garbage as I reach in my pocket for my keys.

“He f-f-found me,” Morgan says and I don’t need anything else to know she’s talking about her ex. “I was shopping for some groceries I needed to make dinner. He beat the hell out of me and left me in an alleyway alone. The only reason he didn’t take me with him is because someone was getting too close to the alley we were in. I don’t know how I managed to get back to my car and here to the clubhouse. Every inch of my body hurts and I’m bleeding so bad. I can’t go to the hospital, Jinx.”

“I’m on my way. I’ll get Doc there and he’ll take care of you,” I state, hanging up the phone so I can call Doc.

Briefly explaining what Morgan told me on the phone, I ask him to go to the clubhouse to help her. Doc already knows that she’ll refuse to go to the hospital or a regular doctor because she doesn’t want a paper trail. It kind of seems like a moot point at this time because he already knows she’s still in Pine View and around where he can find her. Morgan is so terrified of him, she won’t listen to reason though. I can only hope her injuries aren’t serious enough to require surgery or a trip to the hospital because she’ll leave before going there.

Getting on my bike after locking the bar up, I don’t hesitate to start the engine and roar out of the parking lot and toward the clubhouse. Traffic is almost nonexistent at this time of the day when everyone is at work or school. My eyes linger on Phantom Auto when I pass it knowing Hope is inside. I don’t let myself slow down though as I race toward the clubhouse.

When I walk inside, I find Doc already with Morgan as he leads her from the common room. I quickly catch up to them and take in the details of her ripped clothing, the blood covering her skin, and all the cuts and bruises already showing on her pale skin. Morgan usually has a light tan to her skin, but today it’s absent. She’s so pale I can see the veins under her skin and it only makes what happened to her anger me even more.

“The first thing I need to do is get you cleaned up, Morgan. I can’t do anythin’ until I know what damage has been done to you,” Doc says as we help her up on the exam table.

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