Page 61 of Stay, Swear.

She gestures for me to continue, “The floor is yours.”

“My name isn’t Brittany, it’s Phoenix. We changed it when I left home. After everything that happened with David and Robert we had to make sure they couldn’t find me. Obviously that didn’t work because they in fact found me already. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you the truth. I was so scared even uttering it would jinx it and they’d find me.”

Clara’s face is impassive as she responds with just one sentence, “Why are you sorry?”

Completely confused, I answer, “What?”

“You were keeping yourself safe the best way you knew how. I don’t care what your name is as long as you don’t get a personality transplant. I know who my best friend is, I know who my son’s godmom is. A name is a name, Phoenix. I don’t care about that stuff.” The tears flow freely down my cheeks, she’s so understanding. I don’t deserve her but I’m so thankful that she deemed me worthy, because her love and loyalty is unmatched.

“Okay, now that that’s settled. Who do we think is going to make it to the altar this time?”

We settle back into our typical conversations and my heart feels a little less heavy. Settling back into the bed and getting comfortable, we both turn our attention back to our show. We have to find out how this season ends. Our new bits that we’ll use to drive Roe crazy depends on it.

* * *

I wake up hours later to an empty bed. She left me, that whore. I bet it was Rowan, he’s so needy. Deciding to go look for Kieran, I get up, go to the bathroom, then make my way out of the bedroom. Searching around the third floor I come to a room on the opposite side from what I know is Mac’s room, I knock quietly.

Mac’s deep voice cuts through the wooden door, “Open.”

I push the door open as quietly as possible. This room is insane. There’s so many monitors. One big desk that covers half of the wall space and holds at least eight monitors, most of them doing different things at one time. Mac sits withhis back to me. He has a forest green hoodie on, and a black baseball hat sitting on top of his head. He doesn’t look behind him as I enter.

“Hey, you can sit down if you want. What’s up?” His eyes never leave the monitors as his fingers continue to fly over the keys. Sitting on the love seat at the far wall, not far from where his desk starts, I curl up and lean my head on the arm of it. It’s almost calming watching him work, hearing thetap tap tapof the keys.

“I came looking for Kie but you look lonely so maybe I’ll just hang out here with you. I mean if that’s okay?” I’m suddenly unsure of myself. Mac tosses a reassuring smile my way before focusing back on his work.

“Yeah, I don’t care. It may bore you but if you’re looking for calm and mainly quiet, this is the place for you.”

I let him work in silence for a while, pulling at the dark gray cable knit blanket on the back of the couch and draping it over myself. Mac has that same calming sense that Kieran has, like he wouldn’t let anything happen to me or any other woman. But where Kieran also makes my body alight with electricity, Mac just makes me feel safe. He’s attractive, you’d have to be blind not to see that all of the Byrne brothers could scorch the Earth with one singular smolder. He’s notmyByrne though. I think this is what it feels like to have a brother, I can’t be too sure since I’m an only child, but I think so.

“Brittany, Phoenix, whatever I’m supposed to call you, I can hear your brain going a million miles an hour, it’s distracting. What’s wrong?”

“First off, rude. Call me whatever you want. I actually just told Clara. So everyone in this house can call me what they want, I’ll respond. Second, is this what it feels like to havesiblings? I’ve never had them, but I feel safe with you guys when Kie isn’t with me, which seems like maybe it is.”

“You sure about the name thing?” He asks with a hint of something I can’t place.

“Yeah, I don’t care.” Is he just going to disregard everything else I said?

“Okay, Pigeon. The closest thing I’ve had to a sister is Clara, and yeah this feels like that. Ask her what it’s like having us as brothers, especially the twins. You’re going to have a constant headache but I like to think we’re worth it.”

I think my brain short circuited, “Pigeon?”

He gives me a mischievous smirk, “Should have specified that name thing, huh?”

Yeah, this definitely has to be what it feels like to have brothers. “Oh, fuck off, Mac. If you call me Pigeon I’m calling you Quail.”

He shrugs in indifference, just as the door swings open and every other Byrne man files in the room all looking various degrees of shocked that I’m in here. All except Kie who just sits beside me and pulls my legs into his lap. “Hey, Mo Stóirín. Whatcha doing in here?”

“I was looking for you but then it was just so quiet in here.”

Kieran gives me a knowing smile as he chuckles, “Yeah, Mac’s space will do that to you, I get sucked into here too.”

“Oh, hey, boys guess what? Brittany slash Phoenix here has given us free reign to call her whatever we want to… I picked Pigeon.” All the boys burst out laughing and agree I am now Pigeon to all of them. I cut my eyes at Kie before he can say anything, “If you call me anything but, Phoenix, Nix, Brave Girl, or Mo Stóirín I’ll cut your balls off in your sleep.”

He sobers and gives me one firm nod, “Yes ma’am.”

I smile at him, “Want to go work? My mind won’t stop spinning.”

Mac cuts in, “You don’t need to. I’ve got our next guy in my cross hairs right now, guy named Eric?”

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