Page 44 of Stay, Swear.

“Inside these walls you’re just Kie, and I’m just Phoenix. I trust you wholeheartedly. You can call me Phoenix or Nix.”

His eyes flare as the words I’ve been wanting to say pass his lips, “Thank you for trusting me. I love you, Phoenix.”

My lips capture his before he even fully gets my name out. It’s slow and sweet, such a stark contrast to the fiery, intense way we typically kiss. He matches my paces, taking it slow and tracing my mouth with his tongue. When we finally pull away to catch our breath I don’t keep him waiting any longer, I can’t, “I love you too, Kieran.”

The sweetest smile I’ve ever seen breaks out over his face, “You love me back, like for real?”

I tilt my head in confusion before smiling back at him, “Of course I love you, Kie. You’re the most lovable man I’ve ever known. Are you kidding? Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

He presses his lips to mine quickly, “If we’re going to lay it all on the line tonight, I think it’s important you know I’ve never really felt lovable. I mean I know my parents and brothers loveme, but that’s because they have to, and I make sure to show them what they expect of me. I’m an unfeeling machine at work. The comic relief brother and the overly involved Uncle at home. Okay, that last one’s actually me. But, the point is I’ve never been allowed to have strong feelings, interests, or convictions outside of what everyone expects. I’m not trying to make this into a thing, I just wanted you to know.”

Oh, this sweet man, he doesn’t want me to baby him, or tell him that there’s no way he is right. At the same time I’m so mad at his family for making him doubt himself.

“Tell me an interest you have that you don’t feel like you’re allowed to.”

Kieran lights up like a kid on Christmas, “I really like to play the piano. Flynn used to play too, I taught him how. He stopped when he started high school, but when I can’t sleep I go into our living room when everyone’s asleep and play. I’ll get lost in the music and be there for hours. My brothers think it’s Flynn. We don’t bother correcting them.”

“Why wouldn’t you correct them?”

“I’m the enforcer for the Irish Mob, babe, playing the piano for hours on end in the middle of the night isn’t exactly in my wheelhouse.”

“I think it’s all in your wheelhouse. You have many talents Mystery Man, don’t dull yourself down because you think that’s what people expect of you.” Heat flashes in his eyes, and next thing I know I’m on my back and he’s hovering over me.

“I do have many talents. Any in particular you’re fond of seeing?”

“Well, there is that really talented thing you do with your-”

Before I can finish my sentence Kieran is all over me, kissing my lips, hands roaming all over me. This feels different, thisfeels more intimate than any other time together. Kieran’s lips attack my neck, shoulder, and jaw. My hands travel up his torso, bringing his hoodie with me until he sheds it. I wince at the sight of his battered body, my inner voice having to remind me,‘he’s fine. He said he wasn’t fighting anymore. He isn’t actually hurt.’Shaking the thoughts out of my head, I bring my focus solely back to him, when we finally break apart, he moves us so I’m half laying on him. Rubbing my back in soothing circles, he doesn’t stop until I’m drifting off with an ‘I love you.’ barely above a whisper.

23

Chapter Twenty-Three

Kieran

The blinding rage ever since Phoenix told me about her past last night has been stuffed back to the deepest corner of my brain. She didn’t need‘hulk out Kieran’last night. She needed Kie, the man who loves her no matter her past. I’m the man who’s going to hand her the match and stand guard, pride in my eyes, as she sets flames to the world for scorning her as deeply as it has. I always knew she was brave. It’s why I’ve called her ‘Brave Girl’ since the beginning, but even I couldn’t have guessed just how courageous she was. How much she’d survived. My entire being will always be in awe of her.

After making sure she got to work safely, even if I do hate that she’s working for James, or Jackson, or whatever name he’s going by now, I head straight to the estate. She swore to call me if he does or says anything out of line and I can’t holdin the blinding rage anymore. My feet just need to make it to the gym so I’m free to explode in peace. I’ve never wished to not run into my sister-in-law before, but today I know I’m too angry to even speak to her. She didn’t do anything wrong, she just knows, besides Nix she’s the only person I can talk to about it, but I’m not in the mood for talking. I’m in the mood to throw and hit shit. Making my way into the house, I send up a prayer that no one is between me and the gym.

Of course I’m not that lucky. Roe and Clara stand in the foyer arguing as soon as I walk in. I don’t know or care what about, but if I have to hazard a guess, I’ll assume it’s because we got shot at the other day. I brush right through the middle of them keeping my head down and moving towards the heavy bags, jump rope, and lifting equipment screaming my name.

“Kieran?” Clara’s soft motherly tone nearly undoes me, but I can’t stop, I just have to make it to the gym.

“Kieran.” Rowan’s no nonsense voice calls at my back as I keep moving. I shake my head, almost there.

I hear Roe curse low under his breath before Clara tells him to go and his footsteps trail behind me. My hand wraps around the door to exactly where I need to be. My feet practically catapult my body inside. Rowan comes in behind me, but that doesn’t stop me from getting to the heavy bag. Not even bothering to wrap my hands, I grab my shirt at the nape of my neck and yank it off. Unable to hold it together one second longer my fists rain down on the heavy bag.

I can feel Roe staring at me, but he’s not in my peripheral vision. My mind blanks out as I take out every single ounce of anger, frustration, hurt, and fear on the bag. Someone let’s out a pained roar. It sounds like a wounded animal. It takes me a few seconds to realize I’m hearing my own agonizedshouts.

I’m not sure how long I’ve been beating the shit out of this bag when my ass meets the mats that were just a second ago under my feet. My knees draw up and my arms wrap around them. Then like the absolute punk that I know I am, I bury my head in my arms and cry. I’m not a crier, but knowing I’m either in this room myself or at most with just my brothers, I cry. I cry for the girl who had to watch her mom die, the girl who was absolutely brutalized by her own father and his sick friends. The Brave Girl who decided to run that day, and the girl who rose from the ashes and refused to be a victim. I’d never let her see me like this over her, she’d be pissed I was crying for her. However right now my mind can work through it all, then pull myself together and do what I promised her we’d do. Get her the justice she deserves.

Taking deep breaths to calm myself after purging what I needed to, I feel a brother on each side of me pressing their shoulders into mine as a show of silent support. Someone’s hand goes to the back of my neck and gently squeezes. Peeking up to the owner of said hand, I find my big brother’s emerald eyes staring at me.

Declan gives me a sad smile before asking, “Want to talk about it?”

I can’t betray Phoenix like that but at the same time I need to talk about it to some degree.

“Remember when we found out about Clara? What she went through?” Dec nods at me in response. Before I can say anything though I feel a nudge on my other side. Looking over I find Roe watching me with apprehension.

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