Page 42 of Stay, Swear.

“You’re sure? If I have more to say I just need to say it? In front of everybody?”

He’s annoying me now. It’s the only reason I snap at him. “Yes, MacQuillian spit it out.”

“How much longer are you going to keep the fighting from us? I know about the tape too, Kie.”

Fucking fuck.

“I’m not talking about that.”

It falls on deaf ears though because the living room erupts and everyone starts yelling to be heard over each other at the same time. I know I told him to just say it, but he was setting me up and he knows it. Also, how does he know about the tape? More importantly, how long has he known about it? Rowan yells above everyone else to shut up. They listen flawlessly, and quiet down. Wonder if he can teach me thattrick, actually? Judging by the way he’s about to incinerate me with his eyes, that’s probably not going to happen.

“Let’s start with what does Mac mean, the fighting?”

Shit, well here goes nothing, “I started fighting again, about eight or so months ago. My head’s fucked up, way more so than you guys even think. I needed an outlet to figure my shit out. For a long time after the stabbing I did that by training, then training wasn’t enough. I got back into it and it calmed my racing mind. Until it didn’t. Last night was my last fight, the octagon isn’t where my mind calms down anymore, it seems only Britt can do that now.”

“So you’re done this time? Seriously, done. Because I can’t handle you in the hospital fighting for your life again. I get you were the one fighting, but we were the ones watching you struggle to survive day in and day out. That shit is not easy.” Declan pipes up. The others nod along with him.

“If you aren’t done this time, Kieran, you’re fired. Effective immediately.” Rowan drops the bomb that has all of us stunned in silence.

After a few moments I get my bearings back, “I said I was done didn’t I? No need to threaten my place in this family even more so than it already has been.”

“Well maybe if you ever thought of anyone other than yourself I wouldn’t have to take such drastic measures. Have you thought about that?”

Oh, fuck him. “If I ever thought of anyone besides myself? So am I only thinking of myself when I run your security? When I personally make sure Sully and Flynn are at school? What about the times Mac’s been so low over losing Riley that I’ve had to stay with him so he didn’t end his own life? Was I only thinking of myself then Rowan? What about whenDeclan needed my help getting Natasha the fuck out of town before everything popped off with her dad? Oh, no it must have been the time I sat in front of a woman’s house I didn’t know for hours on end to make sure the little boy inside was safe.” I need to stop, but I can’t. It’s like word vomit at this point, the poison that I need to release from my veins so I can heal, finally.

“Enough!” Rowan roars, but I’m not done.

“No, that’s not right either. It’s definitely the fact that almost three years ago I received a blank tape in the mail and decided to watch it before handing it over to Mac to evaluate. Only to find that tape was a recording of the torture and brutal murder our parents endured. It’s gotta be that I hid that tape and never told you guys so that you didn’t have to live with the images of our Mother being violated while our Father had to watch. Just moments before they were both killed, burned into your retinas.” Surging up to my feet I rake my fingers in my hair, “But yes, Rowan. Tell me all about how I’m so selfish.” I start pacing the room with the intensity of a caged animal.

No one says anything, not until Mac walks up to me and grabs my arms pulling me into a hug before pulling back and whispering, “I’m sorry. They needed to know.”

He’s right, we can’t build on lies and I know that. Airing your shit out sucks though.

It’s pretty awkward after my outburst.

That is until Roe grabs me by the back of the neck and pulls me close, “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry that you’ve been carrying that alone. I’m so sorry I was a dick.”

Taking a moment to compose myself I nod into his shoulder, “It’s okay. It isn’t your fault. I should have spoken up.”

Really I should have spoken up, there’s six of us, we’vealways shouldered life’s storms together. That’s how we always make it through. Six Byrne brothers against anything else? Well, I know who I’m placing my bets on.

* * *

Walking into Britt’s apartment a few hours later, the sound of my two favorite girls giggling smacks me. Unable to stop the grin at their contagious laughter my feet carry me to Britt’s room to find them. Clara came into my life like a hurricane when she and my brother got together. She’s the sister we’ve never had. Honestly, most of the time I like her more than Rowan. The need to follow her around and make sure she’s safe is almost unbearable at times. Considering the protectiveness we all have for her I’m surprised she and Rhett can move around the house without us hovering.

Leaning against the door frame to the room I cross my arms and just watch them. Brittany looks so happy compared to this morning. I don’t know what Clara said or did but I’m so thankful for whatever it was. Before I can get my fill of her carefree laugh Rowan stomps his way into the apartment. He stops beside me and drawing both sets of eyes to him.

“Ready to go, Pretty Girl?”

Clara studies him for a moment before smarting, “Why? What’s in it for me if I go?”

Rowan struts into the room, picks Clara up, and tosses her over his shoulder. An act he would not have been able to do just months ago. “You, me, hammock, and that new toy you just bought.”

Clara’s face flames red the same time I make a fake gagging noise, “Rowan!”

He swats her ass as he heads for the door, “Bye little brother. Glad we’re all friends again. Be in the office at eight thirty tomorrow morning.”

“Got it, Boss.” I shut the door behind him, lock it, and head back into the bedroom where Britt’s still laying.

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