Page 69 of The Friend Zone

I feel sick to my stomach at how blind I was. “I should have listened to my own instincts. Things hadn’t been right for ages between us. Christmas with his parents was such a disaster, that I knew our relationship was destined to crash and burn. I should have ended it then.”

There’s no judgment in Cole’s tone. “Why didn’t you?”

I’ve hardly admitted this to myself. “I had invested almost three years in that relationship. I didn’t want to accept that I had been so wrong about Topher. I thought he had so much drive and ambition, I didn’t want to see that in reality he was just cocky and manipulative. He didn’t care who he hurt to get what he wanted and I was too stupid to realize it until Lake told me what he was doing.”

Cole is kinder to me than I deserve. “It’s not your fault, baby. Topher is a master manipulator. He was extremely good at covering his tracks. I started hearing rumors about his hookups around the time he was elected president sophomore year. But he seemed to treat you so well back then, that I thought it was just jealous gossip. I don’t know what happened last year, but he got progressively worse. When he couldn’t cover his actions anymore, he started blackmailing people. It wasn’t my story to tell for the most part, so I convinced myself that staying out of it was the right thing to do. I was fucking wrong. I should have stood up to him then.”

I don’t really blame him for keeping his mouth shut. “None of it is your fault, Cole. I told Lake the same thing when she confessed how he was blackmailing her and her guys. If someone had told me what he was doing a year ago, I probably wouldn’t have believed them. You’re right that he treated me nicely at least on a superficial level. He was very good at it too. At first it was mostly small but very thoughtful gifts, romantic dates. Ironically, I started getting suspicious when his gifts became more expensive and his grand gestures got bigger and bigger.”

Ryker, who has been listening quietly for the most part, chimes in. “My mom says the grander the gesture, the bigger the indiscretion.”

I nod. “Where was your mom when I would have needed that advice? But what I’m trying to say is that I don’t blame anyone but Topher for being an asshole. And myself for being too blind to see him for who he really was until it was too late.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Bay. I’m just glad that somehow, we got here tonight. I love you so fucking much, baby.”

My heart is so full right now. “I love you too, Cole. And I can’t believe you’re willing to accept my feelings for Ryker.”

He lowers his head, his kiss soft and way too brief. “As long as you promise you don’t love him more than me.”

My laugh comes out more like a snort. “Don’t be silly. That’s why I can’t choose. Is it weird that I love each of you with my whole heart?”

Ryker closes the distance between us. “I love you too, Cinnamon.”

I just realize that Ryker and I have been talking about falling for each other but we have never really used the L-word.

“I love you, Ryker.”

He kisses me for a few tantalizing seconds, but pulls back too soon. “I would love nothing more than to show you how muchI love you, Cinnamon. But I think you and Cole need some time alone right now.”

That’s really nice of him. Cole however, expresses that sentiment before I can.

“Are you sure, dude? I mean, I’d love to have some time alone with Bay, but I don’t want to fuck this thing up before we even start. What are the rules, by the way?”

Ryker shrugs. “The fuck if I know. I guess they are whatever we want them to be. Whatever makes us all happy.”

Cole considers his teammate’s words. “So we have one on one time like a normal relationship?”

I smile, lacing my fingers through his. “Luckily I know someone with experience in dating more than one man. Ryker is right. We do what works for us at any given time. Lakyn said that she has lots of one on one time with her guys but sometimes she’ll spend a night with two or even all three of them.”

“Is that something you would want? To have both me and Ryker at the same time?”

A little thrill skitters down my spine as an image forms in my head. “Would you be willing to try? When I was with Ryker and Jagger it was… really fun.”

There’s a beat of silence and for a second I think that Cole is going to say that it’s not something he can do.

“Baby, I know I’ve acted like a complete dipshit since Topher tried to invoke that bro-code. I was worried about all the wrong things. If it wasn’t clear earlier, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I can’t guarantee it’s going to work, seeing you with Ryker might make me too jealous. But if it turns you on, we’ll try.”

His words should make me happy, instead my chest suddenly feels tight.

I don’t even have to say anything, Cole picks up on the shift in my mood. He knows me better than anyone.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Talk to me, Bay.”

I look at both these gorgeous, successful elite athletes. “I don’t know, I guess I feel a little guilty.”

Ryker takes my other hand, his gaze full of the same concern that darkens Cole’s eyes. “Why?”

I exhale a slow, slightly shuddering breath. “It feels like you’re the only ones who have to sacrifice to make this relationship work.”

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