Page 21 of The Friend Zone

Up until that point, things were fine between us. More than fine, actually.

But I’d be lying if I said that his text message surprised me after he’s been avoiding me all week.

I’ve been telling myself that Coach must have ramped up their practices; the theory corroborated by the fact that Cole has been just as scarce as of late.

How busy they are doesn’t matter though. There’s definitely more to it than just because he's busy. Even if he got bored with me, he said we would stay friends when our deal ended. He’s basically saying he doesn’t want to speak to me and I need to know if I did something wrong.

I don’t think it’s what happened with him and Ryker in my room. Jagger practically encouraged his teammate to go down on me. He seemed to get off on seeing us together.

If he wants to end things, I want to know why. If I did something wrong, I deserve the opportunity to at least apologize.

I don’t even make it inside the locker room, when the real reason why he didn’t want to meet me smacks me right in the face.

Jagger was lying about why he didn’t want me to come here. It wasn’t because he thought the team’s winning streak had nothing to do with his pregame lucky bj. He simply didn’t want that bj from me.

I freeze. “Jagger.” Is the only thing I can say.

My brain is short circuiting, all my energy is devoted to an impossible task.

I’m not going to cry.

Jagger knew that Bianca slept with Topher in my own fucking bed, with no regard for the fact that we’re sisters and I’m her sorority president.

I don’t have any beef with Candace and she certainly doesn’t owe me anything, but she’s still one of my sisters. If Jagger really was my friend as he said he was, he wouldn’t have picked two of my sisters to hook up with today. Not when he just dumped me by text.

He doesn’t owe you anything, Bay. You were just hooking up, he wasn’t your boyfriend.

I know that’s true. I know my reaction is unwarranted. And yet I can’t help but feel betrayed.

By the end with Topher, I knew he wasn’t the nice guy I thought he was.

Jagger seemed different. Nice, caring. So, so hot.

For some reason this hurts a million times more than Topher’s betrayal.

His amber colored eyes widen when he sees me. His lips are moving and I know I’m nodding but I don’t really know what he just said.

Something about me being lost.

I hear my own voice replying to him. “Yeah, I don’t know what I’m doing here.Clearly.”

Only it doesn’t even sound like me. My tone is robotic, my pitch tinny as if I was speaking through one of those old fashioned rotary phones. My nana used to have one when Lake and I were little.

I follow him as he walks us out. Us. As in me, Candace and Bianca.

When I came here last time and I gave him a blowjob, after we had sex and I had to walk back into the arena to go find my seat, it didn’t feel like a walk of shame.

This though?

Shame is all I can feel because of how much power I gave him to hurt me when I was still grieving my breakup with Topher.

I trusted you. I thought we were friends.

The words are on the tip of my tongue, but I don’t say them.

He doesn’t deserve my pain. I certainly don’t want to give Bianca the satisfaction of seeing me hurt.

All I want to do is to go home and break down. To cry all my tears.

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