Page 36 of Lost Kingdom

“We can go out someplace nice, or we can grab something and take it back to one of our apartments. I don’t give a shit. I just want to spend my evening with you.”

“All night?” I swallow the lump of nerves in my throat and simultaneously wish for freedom and a pair of handcuffs. Both. At the same time. “Again?”

“Preferably. I’ve proven it, haven’t I, that overnights mean nothing more than just that. Two souls sleeping in one place. That’s not a relationship. No sex. No drama.”

“That’s… surprising.” I pull back far enough to watch the temper spark in his eyes. But not once, ever, do I stand in fear when he’s in front of me. “It’s no secret Malone men require certain physical outlets when they’re stressed. Yet, I’ve lost count of how many times we’ve shared a bed and you’ve remained entirely honorable.”

“Nine times.” He slides his hand up and pinches my chin between his fingers. “We’ve spent nine nights together. I remember every single one. Every single minute.”

“Becausenothaving sex makes time drag on torturously slow for you?”

He scoffs, soft and sweet, so his breath touches my chin. “Because being with you is the only time I actually feel somethingotherthan hate. Or rage. Or pain. The world sucks.” His lashes come down to kiss his cheeks when he blinks. “Everyone in it sucks. Humans are nasty, greedy, self-serving assholes. Including me. But then there’s you.” He licks his lips and almost,almostlicks mine too. “You heal me of abuses you never committed. You’re happy inside a world wrapped in sadness. You’re color in the darkness, and you help dead people, so the patients you serve can’t even say thank you. You’re selfless and perfect, and I can’t feel the pulse in my chest unless you’re standing right here in front of me. So if you’re offering to scratch my hair and let me be with you while we sleep, then I’m gonna take that opportunity every single fucking time.”

I drop my head back and groan, squeezing my eyes shut and counting the stars on the backs of my eyelids.

“What’s wrong?” He strokes my cheek with the pad of his thumb and leans over me so I taste his breath on my lips. “Why are you sad?”

“Because you have this ability to tempt me to give youanythingyou want. But sometimes what you want isn’t the same as what I want.” My heart skips when I open my eyes and fall prisoner to his emerald stare. “Sometimes, you don’t want me at all. And that pain is unbearable. But sometimes youdowant me, except, the timing isn’t right. Or the circumstances. Or most often, I still feel the lingering devastation from your last rejection, and my self-preservation says I can’t love a man who can make me feel like death is better than not being with you at all.”

“Aubree—”

“I get it. I’ve heard it all. You do the things you do to protect me. Despite all my shouting, I do actually listen when you speak. But now you’re in anI want Aubreephase, which is cool and all. But what happens when you change your mind again next week? Or next month?”

“I won’t?—”

“You have! In the past. You’ve been hot and cold for so long, I don’t even know which way is up anymore. And Iknow, as soon as you perceive athreat, you’ll toss me aside and give me whiplash. Again. This week, you’re all about flattering me. You wanna touch and tease and blur those lines and remind me that my heart beats for you. That pulse you feel in your chest? That’s me. That’s what I feel for you. It could all be so wonderful, and I could even fool myself into thinking everything would be smooth for us. But in a week, or a month, or however long, when someone comes along and reminds you that you’re Timothy Malone the Third, you’re gonna do you again. You’ll set me back on the shelf and you won’t even feel bad about it. Because you’d rather I was safe and miserable, than dead and just… dead.”

“I’m trying,” he groans. “I swear, I’m putting things in place that I know will protect you. So we can have whatyouwant, andIdon’t have to worry.”

“The shelf is a lonely place to be,” I whisper. Because if I speak louder, my voice might break and betray me. “I don’t want to be up there anymore.”

“Can we start small?” His eyes jump between mine. Perfect green emeralds exponentially more special to me than the hair clip he once gifted with a lie. “I’ll stop telling people we’re engaged?—”

I choke out a tear-filled laugh. “Handy, considering we’renot.”

“And you’ll come to dinner with me. We don’t have to make it public. And you don’t have to accept my proposal yet.”

“Tim!”

He slides his free arm down to hook my lower back and hold my weight. “Dinner. And I won’t even go to work tonight. Daisy’s got the bar, and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than with you. We’ll head upstairs and turn the TV on. We’ll fall asleep watching whatever show you want. Your choice.”

“Fall asleep?” I question warily. “What if I fall in love again?”

“Silly girl.” He tucks a dangling lock of hair behind my ear. “You’re already in love. You’d have knocked my nuts into my throat by now if you weren’t considering our future children.”

“Ugh.” I drop my gaze and shake my head. He’s infuriating. “You’re always pushing. Always frustrating me!” I slip out of his arms and move toward the changing rooms. “We were having a pleasant moment, and then you mention kids.”

“I wasn’t kidding.” He follows me to the door, but I step in, place my hand on his face, and shove him back so I can close it between us. “This is where it’s at for me, Aubree. And I know you’re gonna want eleven hundred kids. We have to save my balls for game day.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“Three kids. One of each.”

I firm my lips and reach up to slide the strap of my gown off my shoulders. “And the third?”

“Dealer’s choice. You have the vagina; you get to choose.”

“Literally not how reproduction works, dummy. But since we’re over-sharing anddiscussing our future, which would imply a certain level of honesty and loyalty, you should know I saw another man’s penis today.”

---