Page 100 of Icy Pucking Play

The one brave enough to say what everyone's thinking.

"It's not that simple," I say finally.

"Actually, it is." He retrieves his stick. "You're just making it complicated because you're afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"Of being happy. Of letting someone in. Of admitting that maybe, just maybe, Sophie's different."

"The kid's got a point," Mike calls out.

"Nobody asked you," I growl.

"Nobody had to." He stands up. "We all see it. How you light up when she's here. How you actually laugh at practice. How you're not just the Ice Man anymore."

"I was never just…"

"Yes, you were." Coach joins the conversation. "Ever since Chelsea, you've been all ice. No warmth. No joy. Just...frozen."

"Until Sophie," Ryland adds softly.

"You're not actually made of ice, you know," Sophie had said one night after practice. "You just let people think that because it's safer."

"Isn’t it?"

"No." She'd touched my face. "It's lonelier."

"She went to Clark."

"Because you wouldn't talk to her!" Ryland throws his hands up. "God, you're impossible. She tried, Uncle Evan. She tried so hard to understand, to be patient, to love you despite all your walls you put up."

The word makes my chest tight.

"Love has nothing to do with…"

"It has everything to do with it." He starts skating backward. "You know what Mom told me about Sophie? About why she hired her as an intern in the first place?"

"Ryland…"

"Because on her first day covering practice, she stayed three hours after everyone left. Just watching you work with the rookie goalies. And when Mom asked her why, you know what she said?"

I shake my head.

"She said, 'Because everyone sees the Ice Man, but I think there's more. I think there's warmth there, if you know where to look’."

The words hit like a slap shot to the chest.

He lines up another shot. "She saw you, Uncle Evan. The real you. And instead of being grateful, you pushed her away."

The puck flies past me again. I barely notice.

Coach blows his whistle. "All right, that's enough for today. Everyone hit the showers."

"Except you two," Mike adds. "You clearly need to finish this conversation."

They file out, leaving me alone with Ryland and too many truths.

"It's not that simple," I say again, but the words sound hollow even to me.

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