Page 22 of Christmas Shelter

Carlota doesn't answer, just smiles and gives her a soft kiss on the lips. Then she turns and looks at the ceiling as if searching for some answer in the tapestry decorating it. Patricia lets her be for a few minutes, but then starts thinking that Carlota might now regret what happened between them.

"What are you thinking?" the cardiologist asks with uncharacteristic shyness.

Carlota opens her mouth but doesn't turn to look at her.

"I'm a little scared," she confesses. "What I felt was extraordinary and I'm terrified of not knowing how to handle it. I've been confused for a long time, you know? I had started noticing girls and didn't know what it meant. At first, I thought it was just the result of failed relationships with guys, but when I saw you that day with that grumpy face at the shelter door," Carlota smiles and closes her eyes to shake her head, "something finally woke up inside me."

Patricia also smiles and affectionately caresses her arm.

"When we were locked in there," Carlota continues, "that feeling kept growing, but I denied myself those feelings because besides not knowing if you liked women, I was sure that a beautiful girl like you would never notice me."

As if spring-loaded, Patricia suddenly sits up and looks at her questioningly.

"I don't understand why you say that, you're beautiful, Carlota, plus you're fun, smart, and kind. If anything, itshould be the other way around and I should be wondering how a girl like you could notice me."

Carlota looks at her sadly, as if thinking those words aren't true.

"I've never been able to control my weight," she answers heavily, "and truthfully, I don't see anything wrong with it, in fact, I go to the gym several times a week, I move around all day and I have good eating habits where I allow myself many treats, but I also eat very healthy. My bloodwork is perfect, but it's been many years of hearing the word fat used as an insult toward me. It started when I was little, when I was in school, and although they don't say it to my face now, I've seen it in the eyes of several guys I've dated."

"They're idiots," Patricia blurts out, making Carlota laugh. "We live in a time where looks seem to be everything and there's nothing more wrong than that. Years ago, I dated a super pretty girl, I was the envy of many because it was like dating a beauty queen, but that was only on the outside because inside she was the most horrible woman I've known. Envious, mean-hearted, toxic... I can tell you hundreds of negative things about her. I saw her a few months ago, completely unrecognizable. What I want to tell you with this is that the beauty or stunning looks that many brag about today end with time, it's unstoppable. We should focus on people who warm our hearts, who make us feel safe and who truly love us."

Carlota is speechless. She's starting to know a side of Patricia she's never seen before and she loves it. Havingnoticed her and now being together in that bed is more than a gratifying experience. She moves closer to the cardiologist and kisses her tenderly again, letting out a sigh.

Patricia hugs her and suddenly extreme exhaustion hits them both. It's not just the physical activity, it's that they've both opened up so much to each other that they feel their bodies floating and they can't help but close their eyes and fall asleep very close together.

Chapter 16

The day dawns under a relentless curtain of rain, but Patricia and Carlota don't mind their plans being ruined because they've replaced them with something they consider much better: sex. They've spent hours between caresses, confessions, and cuddling, and now they're sitting with pillows against their backs, exchanging furtive glances and typical silly smiles.

"Hey," Carlota says. "Just to clear things up, no hard feelings about the job thing? I'd like to put that behind us."

"Yes, of course, please forget about that and my stupid behavior," Patricia says, embarrassed. "I stand by what I told you yesterday, and I promise it's water under the bridge. Besides, to be honest, I must confess I wouldn't trade my current job for anything in the world. I love my specialty, and now I visit different clinics during the mornings seeing only animals with heart conditions, and in the afternoons, I work part-time at another clinic."

Carlota's mouth opens in a strange expression, and her eyes narrow as she points an accusing finger at Patricia.

"You hypocrite," she says with a smile that spreads to Patricia, "acting all mean and accusing me of stealing your job when you actually don't care," she adds, pushing her affectionately.

Patricia's laughter makes it hard for her to speak.

"Back then, I did want it," she says in her defense.

"So what? Do you live stuck in the past?" Carlota asks, rolling underneath Patricia between laughs.

They spend several minutes like this, playing between silly reproaches, stolen kisses, and lots of laughter.

At one-thirty sharp, both are showered and heading down the stairs toward the inn's dining room, where they're meeting Yolanda and Sonia for lunch.

"Can I ask how long you've been dating?" Sonia asks in the middle of lunch.

Carlota feels herself blushing and feels incredibly grateful that they're Patricia's friends and not hers because that saves her from having to answer.

"Well," Patricia clears her throat while glancing sideways at Carlota and smiling, "we're not officially dating, let's say we're getting to know each other."

The wink Patricia gives Carlota makes her heart leap, causing vertigo and a wide smile.

"That explains why you haven't told us about her, although if you'd told me you'd been together for months, I would have believed it," Sonia says.

"Me too," her wife adds.

---