Page 42 of Hockey Heart

Jimmy’s eyes got wider. “Huh, guess it ain’t so bad then.”

We both took a moment to think about Betsy and being on the end of that screwdriver, before Jimmy got to what he really wanted to know about.

“So, you gonna tell me what all that was about last night?”

“Ah, Jimmy, I would, but it’s nothing. Didn’t really pan out.”

“You gotta be careful mixing with the locals, Hay. Before you know it, they’re a bleeding heart telling every news station and glossy magazine in town their story.”

“This one’s not like that.”

Jimmy looked at me, trying to read my expression. If anyone knew me, it was this guy. He could’ve laughed at me, called me out, but he could tell it was a sensitive topic and to respect it.

“So, you like this one, huh?”

“I don’t know Jimmy. It doesn’t matter anyway, she’s not interested, and…”

Jimmy said it for me, “I don’t date.”

“Exactly,” I nodded at him.

We sipped our beers for a reflective moment before Jimmy spoke again.

“Hay, I’ve never seen you give up on anything in your life, even when it got real goddamn hard. Nothing, except for one thing.”

I looked at him doubtfully.Was everyone my fucking shrink these days?

“Please don’t tell me you’re about to saylove, Jimmy?”

He smiled into his glass, gently nodding, and I groaned and rolled my eyes.

“Hay. You can pretend it doesn’t matter, but one look at you and I can see it does. You got the bug. It’s in your eyes.”

Normally, I’d shut it down, make a joke, and move things along. Thing is, Jimmy always had a way of getting people to say what he somehow already knew. He could just read people like that.

“Okay, cards on the table.”

“Deal me in.”

“It’s Maiden’s teacher.” I waited for a reaction, but Jimmy’s eyebrows only lifted a little and he waited patiently for me to continue.

“Sarah. I don’t remember meeting anyone like that. I mean, she’s not like anyone else. She’s kind, even when she’s mad at me, and I’ve done that to her enough. Even then, I just love her looking at me… Usually, it’s just animal attraction, but with her… It’s… It’s like I just want to scoop her up and make her safe and warm and happy.”

“And that would make you happy?”

“Feels like it. But then again, my feelings go all batshit crazy around her. I keep fucking it up and I hate myself for it, but…”

“Hay, from experience, you and self-sabotaginganyonewho gets close to you is pretty standard.”

He was right of course, but it still felt bad to hear.

“Hayden!”

I turned in the direction that my name came from and saw a girl approaching.

“Er, yeah, hi there.”

“It’s Kelly! We were at Worship together the other night.” Then to illustrate further, she rolled out her tongue, crossing her eyes at the same time in a cartoonish way.

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