Page 32 of Hockey Heart

“Uh-huh,” I said, fixing my eyes on the screen and feeling embarrassed, “Just don’t tell anyone, okay?”

She laughed. “I’m not sure anyone would believe me.”

Damn. Who laughs like that? There was no malice or upmanship. No game. It was just sweet and uplifting.

“So, what the hell happened tonight, Hayden?”

I sighed. For a blissful moment, I’d forgotten about the police, about Cara, Dana, and Locklear.

“It’s just been a day. Look, Sarah, I’m really sorry you got caught up in it all. There’s a lot going on.”

She eyed me suspiciously, waiting to see if I’d continue. Something about her, or maybe it was the gas station rosé, made me want to tell her everything. I’ll be the first to admit I’m guarded, but in my position, I have to be. Loose lips tendto come back to haunt me. That much I’d learned from Cara. Sarah was different, though. I didn’t just know it, I could feel it.

“So, Maiden’s mom turned up this afternoon. She always puts me on edge. Then I have to see this therapist, and between them both pushing my buttons, I just… Well, you saw, huh?”

“Yeah, it wasn’t the best look, to be honest. And you stood me up! So, y’know, it’s hard to be sympathetic.”

I nodded ruefully. She was right. Thing is, I was the one who was used to being let down, but now it was me doing it to this lovely woman who didn’t deserve any of it. I wanted to look at her again.Why did I want to look at her again so badly?

After a moment of silence, she changed the topic.

“So, you always wanted to be a hockey player?”

I was relieved to move on from my failings as an absolute ass-biscuit, “Sure. I mean, look at me, I was built for it.”

I held up my forearm and flexed it for playful effect. But she didn’t smile. Instead, her eyes just seemed to shine as she watched my bicep swell, before she snatched her look away.

Both our cheeks reddened, as if our inner thoughts might have been exposed, and we turned back to the movie. She didn’t look at me as she asked the next question.

“Do you have a… Girlfriend, or a lover, or someone Hayden?”

“That never really works out for me.”

“What doesthatmean?”

“Women come into our lives and make everything worse.”

“Maybe it’s just your choice in women, Hayden?”

Fuck. I loved it when she looked at me. Those crinkles atthe edge of her beautiful eyes made the world suddenly feel soft and light and perfect.

“Could be,” I smiled back.

“What about Joyce, though? How does she fit into all this?”

I’d never told anyone too much about Joyce. It didn’t feel right to share her story. It washerstory, after all. It certainly wasn’t something I was going to tell any of the guys or Cara about.

“Joyce is a saint, really. She was in a tough spot when we met. Hell, we both were. I mean, you should try dating Cara. She’s not about to win any ‘Mom Of The Year’ awards.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll pass, but thanks for the heads up.”

“Well, anyway, we helped each other out and she keeps me and Maiden on track. I guess she’s the closest thing to a mom he has.”

“And the closest thing you have to a wife?”

I hadn’t really thought of it that way, but she was right. Joyce was our surrogate mother and wife, without being either.

“We’re not together. Y’know, likethat.”

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