Page 28 of Hockey Heart

Gary Bradbury was the Chief Medical Director, and I went to see him in the afternoon to see what I would be working on next. I was still in disbelief as I left his office.This must be a mistake?

It’s hard to remember his exact words as I stood there grinning at him, but they were something along the lines of… “Thanks for being a part of our mission here. I hope you’ve enjoyed the experience. Your internship ends next month and we would like to give you this letter of reference to help you toward finding your next position.”

He held out the piece of paper to me and, still grinning but with a little less sparkle, I reached out to take it, wondering when he was going to tell me which role I would be given. He just stared at me, waiting for me to speak or leave, but it became clear that there was nothing else he had to say to me.

“But… I thought…” was all I could stammer.

He lifted his eyebrows, “Yes. Well, who knows what the future holds?”

My cute optimism was shelved as a dark anger rippled through me. Thankfully, I was still in enough of a daze that I turned and left his office without unleashing myself on him.

But… I thought…

My first instinct was to go and find Jake. He would get this all cleared up, maybe even go bursting into Gary Bradbury’s office and demand he hire me without question or he, himself, would resign immediately. My heart fluttered at the idea of him protecting me, standing up for me.

The lab was quiet that day. The interns were only there to see Gary and then had the rest of the day to themselves. As I approached the swinging doors that reminded me of those in a kitchen restaurant, I saw his face through the crack and my heart jumped. Not just my heart. Maybe we could fit in a moment of wild passion before he came to my rescue. Then, there was someone else in my frame of vision, and they were looking at each other kind of funny.

Lucy Grayson.

Suddenly, everything spun when I saw her stand up on her toes and her hands slide onto his shoulders. My stomach felt like it was being ripped apart at the exact samemoment as I watched her lips meet his. It was like poison had flooded my bloodstream, every inch of my body curling up in aching disbelief. The death of love and the birth of love, both occurring in two different people in the same place at the same time.

I heard their vague murmurings through the crack in the door.

…I can’t wait for next year as your highly capable assistant Doctor…

…Are you sure you’re comfortable working under me…

…More than comfortable, although sometimes I like to be on top…

I didn’t go back for my last month. I just went home to my tiny room and cried and cried and cried. Three weeks later, broke and heartbroken, and having never felt more lost, I rode the Greyhound back to my hometown. Now, I’m sitting in a bar, having been stood up, feeling humiliated and completely alone all over again.

I picked up the phone and called Hayden’s number. It rang out without an answer. A small self-pitying tear found its way down my cheek, before falling into my empty glass and onto the melting ice.

Fuck this. Fucking Hayden Raynor.

I picked up my jacket and ordered a cab.

17

CUSTODY

Hayden

By the time the squad car had pulled up, I’d regained most of my senses. It didn’t stop the cops from pointing their guns and yelling at me to get down like I was top of “America’s most wanted” list, though. To be fair, I’m a big guy and there was another guy screaming on the floor, covered in blood, next to me. I’d probably expect the worst too.

And yeah, if you’re wondering, Ididfeel bad. That guy continued to cuss at me through the blood streaming from his nose, but he still didn’t deserve this. Like I told Dana once, sometimes I felt like one of those Army vets, who have to contain everything they were trained for every day of their civilian lives, but there’s always something there in the background waiting to snap. Except that the closest I’d been to Vietnam was a week’s luxury vacation in Thailand. The therapy was supposed to help, but it had made things worse.

I heard Dana’s cold, flat voice in my head, knowing what she’d say to that…It’s not the therapy that made it worse Hayden, it’s you… Most people don’t walk out of here and just start smashing cars and strangers… You threw a tantrum because you’re scared of facing the truth…

“Hey, easy!” I said as the aggressive little trooper roughly snapped his cuffs on me, while the other stood back, nervously pointing his firearm at me.

By now, there was a small crowd watching on. I guess Dana would’ve come out to see what was going on and I felt her judgment without even needing to see her disapproving face.Please don’t let this make the news,I thought as they bundled me into the back of the squad car.

I had one call at the station. Who made up that damn rule, anyway? What if they didn’t pick up? Or you dialed the wrong number? Or you had an especially large family?

It was an obvious choice, though. I had to get Maiden picked up from soccer practice and somehow let Sarah know I wouldn’t be making it to Freddy’s. So, instead of calling Sarah from a police station–yeah Hayden, a great way to show your kid’s teacher what a responsible role model of a parent you are–I decided I’d call Joyce.

Joyce would pick up Maiden from practice, and I’d also tell her to call Sarah for me and say… Well… I didn’t know yet, but Joyce was resourceful. She’d come up withsomething, an emergency team meeting, a plumbing issue, saving a kitten from a house fire, a mystery illness that had doctors baffled...

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