Page 88 of Gracefully Yours

And I didn’t want to have my heart broken.

Losing him would destroy me.

* * *

“Charlotte.”

“Mmm?” When had I closed my eyes? I popped them open to find Daniel leaning over me, his lips inches from my face. If I leaned up, we’d be kissing.

“I’m going to go for a run,” he said, voice rough in a way I couldn’t quite identify. “Do you want to join me?”

“Oh.” I thought about the numerous calories I’d consumed over the last few days, even with the copious amounts ofphysical activitywe’d engaged in. And then about the dance studio, the grueling hours I put into staying in shape for teaching dance. “Yeah. Let’s do it.” I rubbed my finger over my wedding ring, admiring the band on his finger that proved we were irrevocably tied. “Let me go get changed,” I said, hopping off the bed.

Lacing up my pink tennis shoes, I met Daniel by the front door before pulling on my favorite raincoat and slipped my phone in one of the zippered pockets. It was damp and chilly outside, thanks to the Portland winter, but that was nothing a raincoat and a good run couldn’t fix.

I couldn’t remember the last time Daniel and I had gone for a run together, even after I moved in to his house. Maybe that was a mistake I should have fixed sooner. Back in college, that had been one of our very first things we’d bonded over. He’d shown me all the best routes, the best trails nearby, and we’d been able to talk for hours about everything. Life. TV shows. Books. Sometimes we’d gone in silence, just the sound of our feet hitting the pavement or splashing in puddles on a rainy day.

But we’d always been together. It was a friendship borne not of necessity, but because we genuinely enjoyed spending time together. And that had always been enough for me, hadn’t it? He’d been my best friend, and even if I knew he’d never look at me like that… Well, things were different now.

Shoving my bluetooth earphones in my other pocket, we took off at a leisurely pace up the hill.

Normally when I ran alone, I listened to music, but it felt weird to do that when we weretogether.

Sure, I knew I liked to listen to workout playlists when they ran, but I normally either listened to Disney music—nothing got me pumped up likeGo the Distancefrom Hercules—or my Taylor Swift playlist. No matter what anyone said about my girl, her music had got me through everything. Even if I hadn’t gotten my heart broken, I could belt out one of her breakup songs like no one’s business.

“So…” I said, finally breaking the silence a few minutes into our run. He was matching me, stride for stride, which I knew wasn’t easy since I was way shorter than him. Even if I had fairly long legs for my height, he always towered over me, and his pace was much longer than mine.

Except he seemed content to stay just like this, right by my side. He always had, and maybe that was why we worked. Because no matter what happened, we always had each other. As best friends, now husband and wife, and maybe… something more.Lovers?

The thought had me wrinkling my nose at the word. Was that what we were? No. Even if we were going to try to have a baby now that we were married, even if we were sleeping together… We weren’t in love.

“So.” He raised an eyebrow. “What’s going through that pretty little head of yours?”

“Why do you think there’s anything?”

“Charlotte.” He stopped moving, turning his body fully to look at me. “There always is.”

“Everything’s different,” I said instead of an acknowledgment of his statement. My eyebrows furrowed. “Us. This. I’m just…”

Overwhelmed. Happy, but still… confused.What was this thing between us? Did I want there to be more?

“We’re married.” Daniel ran his finger over my ring. “Of course everything is going to be different,” he chuckled. “Because now I have an excuse to kiss you any time I want.”

“Oh.” I busied myself by tugging my fingers into the sleeves of my fleece-lined jacket. “And that’s… new? For you?”

It was for me. This inability to stay away from him. To not want to touch him. Wasn’t it? I’d never felt this magnetic attraction to anyone before, not until him. Not until he taught me all the ways my body could want him. How it felt when he touched me. If he was like a drug, I wasn’t sure I ever wanted him out of my system.

“Charlotte,” he murmured. “I’ve always wanted to kiss you.”

“You…” I blinked.What?

But this man, my stubborn, infuriatingly handsome husband, said nothing else. He leaned down to retie his shoe, even though I knew he’d double knotted them before we left. He always did.

“How about we take it one day at a time?”

I couldn’t shake off what he said earlier.Always? He’d always wanted to kiss me?

When had always begun? Before or after I’d asked him to take my first kiss in college? Before or after he’d asked me to marry him in a marriage pact?

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