Page 18 of Gracefully Yours

Charlotte

ONE MONTH LATER…

Smiling, I watched the tiny ballerinas spin in circles around the room. Sure, they weren’t as graceful as my group of teenagers I taught, but they were still at the age when they were just here to have fun. Some of them might stay, committing to dance for the long haul.

That was how I’d been when I was a little six-year-old in a similar dance studio in California. But I’d fallen in love with it, and here I was, all these years later, teaching the next generation.

“Gwen, keep your chin up, sweetie,” I instructed the tiny brunette, going through and giving them all tips on their form.

After we’d finished our hour long class, I dismissed the kids. The class was mostly girls, but we had a few boys who’d enrolled as well, and they seemed to enjoy ballet just as much as the girls. We always said we didn’t pick favorites, but I had a few. Faith, with her big blue eyes, and Arzum, whose family had moved here from Turkey last year, and Gwen, who never failed to give me a big hug when she arrived.

“You all did really well today!” I smiled, giving high-fives to the kids as they moved to the sides of the room, to their parents who were waiting to take them home. “Remember, next week we’re learning our new dance for the winter recital.”

I’d been planning for it for weeks—the cute little costumes and the perfect dance to go along with it. It was one of my favorite parts of being a dance teacher, aside from taking them to competitions where they really got to shine.

Watching them pack up all their stuff, I felt a surge of pride.

“See you all next Monday!” I called out to the kids and parents rushing out the door, grateful for the silence. Exhaling deeply, I closed my eyes for a few moments to center myself before turning back to my friend.

“Excellent class today,” my friend and the studio’s owner, Juily, said with a smile on her face, brushing her dark brown hair off one brown shoulder. She’d told me a few months back that she and her wife were trying to start a family, so I’d been taking over more responsibilities to help while she was pregnant.

“Thanks.” I bent down to take off my slippers. Normally, when I taught contemporary dance, I’d go barefoot or with half-soles, but for ballet I wore a leotard and tights.

Ever since I’d gotten back from my Angelina’s wedding last month, I’d felt like I was off balance. Like something was missing, and I didn’t quite know what it was.

I loved my life—teaching dance and creating new choreography for our dancers while fulfilling one of my passions on the side—sewing. But was itenough?

Lately, I wasn’t sure anymore.

“How’ve you been feeling lately?” I turned to Juily, who had her hand resting over her little bump.

“Good. I appreciate you picking up the slack since I’ve been working less, though. I know Naomi does too.”

“It’s no problem, really. Besides, I can use the extra money.”

“Isabelle’s been talking about picking up another class after this term is over, too, so that might help take some of the burden off of you.”

“I really don’t mind. I love these kids.”

She placed a hand on my shoulder, squeezing briefly. “I know you do. And they absolutely adore you. I know a lot of the parents are already talking about re-enrolling for next year.”

“Really?” I smiled. “That’s good.” I hadn’t taught the younger kids in a while, since I’d mostly been focusing on my teens, especially the ones who were gearing up for competitions. But I’d missed this, even though there was a part of it that made my heart ache.

Teaching them reminded me of the one thing I wanted, and I didn’t have. A dream that was in sight, and yet… so far away.

I had always planned on being married by twenty-five. Kids by 28. And somehow, that dream was floating further and further away from me. The last time I’d talked to my mom, I could practically feel her eyes roll over the phone.

You’re not that old,she’d insisted.You’ll find someone, Lottie, I promise.

But where? I’d tried the whole online dating thing, and it had never panned out. Had even gone out with a single dad from the dance studio once, but there was never thatspark.

Maybe I’d have to accept that I was going to be single forever. I didn’t want to spend the next two years frantically searching for the right guy. I just wanted to have what my friends did.

And I hated when my mom called me Lottie. It made me feel like I was still a kid. I’d stopped being Lottie when I moved away to college, choosing to go to Portland instead of staying in Sacramento. I missed California sometimes, but I enjoyed being myownperson up here. No older sister to overshadow me, no parents who wanted me to stay living with them because they wanted to keep babying me.

“You know, Naomi’s brother is single. I could see if she could set the two of you up.” It felt like Juily read my mind sometimes, but as much as I wanted that, I was tired of first dates. Tired of dolling myself up just to feel like something was missing. Thespark.

I shook my head, all but waving her off. “It’s okay. I’m taking a break from all that.”

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