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But in this fucked-up scenario? I needed to focus on every little detail so I wouldn’t have time to think about the man who will be waiting for me at the end of the aisle with that all-knowing smirk.

Planning the wedding worked to occupy my mind during the day, but at night? Every touch and word that was spoken in a lust-filled haze replayed in my mind, which always led to my hand snaking down my body and into my pajama bottoms to give myself a little relief so I could fall asleep.

Then last night, Santino sent me a bouquet of white lilies with a handwritten note. I did everything I could to try to have a relaxing night before I got married, but my husband-to-be ruined that the moment I opened the door and saw the massive bouquet in the hands of the delivery man. Then he ruined it even more when I read the note.

I reach for it on my bedside table and reread it, feelings I don’t want to feel rearing their ugly head inside me.

Mia, my beautiful bride,

White lilies represent innocence and purity, and while you’re no longer explicitly either of those, I’m keeping the purity you handed me so beautifully as the most precious gift I own, and will collect on the rest of your innocence when you’re ready and beg me to do so.

That’ll be a beautiful day, Mia.

Until then, I’ll endure your tongue lashings, knowing that the fire you have burning in you will one day explode all over me. And when that day comes, so will you, farfalla. Many, many times.

I hope you’ve taken these past two weeks to create your dream wedding because it’s the only one you’re going to get in this life.

Sleep well, my almost wife.

I’ll see you tomorrow, waiting for you at the altar.

Your almost husband,

Santino

p.s. – these flowers don’t smell nearly as sweet as you taste.

The words swim around in my head until I’m dizzy and surrounded by them.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath in, release it slowly, and then repeat the process until my nerves are settled.

I’m completely disarmed by Santino and I don’t know how I’m going to survive this marriage if he evokes this kind of reaction in me simply by reading his words. And God fucking help me for when I’m actually in his presence and he’s using that seductive voice of his to tell me all the things he wants to do to me and how I’ll be begging him to touch me. I’m going to have to keep my defenses up at all times and make sure I always have something to be angry about, or so help me, I’ll be melting at his feet and begging him to touch me before I know it, just like he wants.

Groaning, I throw my arm over my eyes.

In a few short hours, I won’t be Mia Carfano anymore. I’ll be Mrs. Santino Antonucci, the wife of a mob boss.

I’m even more glad now that we didn’t have the traditional ceremony rehearsal and subsequent dinner last night. I didn’t see the need for one and told the planner we weren’t having one. She was confused, but I couldn’t tell her it was because this was an arranged marriage and I had no desire to rehearse walking down the aisle, practice my vows, or sit next to my soon-to-be husband for a whole damn meal without giving in to the urge of stabbing him with a steak knife.

I told her my family and Santino’s had to work on an important project to pacify her curiosity, although I’m sure however much Leo is paying her is more than enough to keep her curiosity at bay. I don’t doubt she had to sign an NDA when she was hired as well. Lord knows the venue is going to be filled with high-powered men and women from both sides of the law.

The joining of the Carfano and Antonucci families is going to be a public display of unity that sends a message to everyone in our world.

A message of combined forces.

A message I wish I didn’t have to be a part of.

I’m being played by both sides in this damn charade and I just want this show to be over with. I’ve never been the center of attention. I’ve always blended in to keep the peace, but I know today I’ll have all eyes on me, and I’m going to need to dig deep to play my part of blushing bride. All smiles and looks of love on the outside while I’m feeling anything but on the inside.

I have the urge to run, but then I’ll have let everyone in my family down, which is something I can’t bear. Even more so than marrying a conniving, lying man who only wants me because he likes the way I look.

“Knock, knock!” I hear Aria say at the door. I stayed the night in a suite in the boutique hotel near the venue so I could have some alone time and a place for all the girls to come to this morning to get ready that wasn’t in the presence of my mother. I’m not exactly talking to her at the moment.

As soon as I open the door, my cousins – Aria, Gia, Katarina, and Elena – and the significant others of my brothers and cousins come swooshing inside in a rush. Minus Tessa, who is Alec’s wife, because she just had a baby and will join us in a little while after she gets her little one up and ready.

Abrianna is Leo’s wife, Angela is Luca’s fiancé, Lexi is Vinny’s fiancé, and Cassie is Nico’s girlfriend. Each is beautiful and amazing, and I can see the love they have with their man every time we’re all together. They all got to choose their love. I want that chance. I’ve dreamed of that chance since I was a little girl, yet here I am on my wedding day, standing in a room full of women in love, married or on their way to being married, and I can’t seem to get a full breath into my lungs because I don’t have a choice and may never get one.

Lightheaded, I grab the handle on the door and flit my eyes between all the women. “I can’t…” I suck in a breath. “I can’t…”

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