Page 62 of Captivated

Breathe in. Breathe out.

I take a few deep breaths and pour some more whiskey before I’m even a little bit calmer.

I told her she was only going to dance for me, but I should’ve known her stubborn ass would find another club to work in rather than ask me for help.

I mean, Jesus, how much money does she fucking need to help her brother?

I gave her a car to sell and it still wasn’t enough?

She sure as shit wasn’t acting stressed over money today. I thought we were good.

Goddamn it, why didn’t I ask her?

Probably because I was loving how open she was for the first time that I assumed everything was good.

Well, since I know she’s awake, I’ll send her another message.

Me:What part of you only dance for me now did you not understand, Cassandra?

She doesn’t answer me straight away, so I try again, letting the whiskey I’m drinking get the better of me.

Me:I didn’t realize you needed more money than the car I gave you that you sold. I would’ve given you more for the performance you gave me today if I knew.

Cassie:Did you really just say that? Fuck you.

Me:You already did.

Cassie:I’m doing what I have to to save my brother.

Me:I could’ve helped, but you’re too proud to ask for help. You’d rather take your clothes off and have strangers shove money in your tits and ass rather than have someone who cares about you help you.

Cassie:You don’t get to say that to me. I never asked you to care about me, and you don’t get to judge me for my choices when I know what you’ve done for your family. You think I haven’t overlooked fucking a killer?

I throw my phone onto the couch. Did I imagine today? Did I create a whole fucking fantasy between us where we were on the same page and basically confessing our love for one another?

Am I fucking crazy? Did I imagine all that?

Standing, I eat up the distance to my room in angry strides to pack my shit up. I need to go home.

This is why I don’t get attached to anyone.

This is why I don’t fuck women more than once.

Cassandra fucking Connelly got under my skin and now I don’t know what to do.

It turns out I was right to not trust or let myself care about a woman. It fucks you over.Theyfuck you over.

In the family, I’m trusted to remain impartial and be able to give advice and make decisions that are best for everyone. Andyet this woman has my brain and the stupid organ in my chest at war with each other, and I don’t know what’s good for me.

My head is telling me to go back to the city and back to work, but my heart doesn’t want to leave her.

I want her to want me.

I want Cassie to choose me.

And I know I’m an asshole for even thinking that because she’s doing it to help the only family she has left, but I get to be an asshole if I want to be one. Especially when I have the means and am able to help her however she needs.

I thought we worked through me having her fired.

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