Page 126 of Roaring Flames

Christian gently tugs on my hand, forcing me to spin back around to face him.

“Not entirely,” he confesses. “But it’s about the halfway point.” He swallows, and I watch his throat bob with the movement. “The first stage always revolves around shifting. It becomes harder for a lone wolf to shift into his wolf form. Then, when the shifter begins to feel a strong emotion like jealousy or lust or anger, thewolfis able to shift into ahuman.”

“Think of the Wolf Man from the movies,” Gerry interjects. “A humanoid figure with wolf-like characteristics.”

“A feral wolf,” I breathe in understanding.

All three men nod.

“A feral wolf,” Christian agrees. “And after a while, it becomes impossible for the human to take back control at all from the wolf. It’s why our kind lives out their lives in the forest. It’s the only way to protect the people we care about.”

Understanding dawns on me. “Is that why you didn’t tell me about the mating bond?”

A deep-rooted anguish manifests in Christian’s eyes, and the sight of it causes my heart to clench. I was so, so angry moments ago, but now I just feel…sad. Defeated.

“I knew that if I allowed myself to get close to you, my wolf would get closer and closer to the surface. I wouldn’t be able to hold him back.”

And then he’ll be lost to his wolf forever…

I stumble back a step as if I’ve been physically shot. “But you invited me to the barbecue. You asked me to go with you. You?—”

Christian matches my step backwards with one forward. His earnest blue eyes ensnare my own, and I feel like a tiny bunny staring down the notch of a hunter’s bow.

“I couldn’t resist you anymore, Izzy. I didn’t want to.” He runs a hand through his hair and then blows out a jittery breath. “I figured that if I was going to go insane, then I’d rather do iton my own time. I wanted to get to know you, even if it was just for a short while. Maybe that makes me selfish, but I’m tired of fighting what I’m feeling. I planned on telling you the truth today, actually.”

He takes another step closer until he’s towering over me, but I no longer feel small and defenseless. There’s so much wistful vulnerability in his eyes, so much hope, that one thing becomes abundantly clear—he’s granting me all of the power.

Emotion tunnels into my throat and forms a thick ball of tension that makes it hard to breathe.

“I think this is our cue to leave,” Hale whispers, and I don’t know if he’s talking to me or Gerry.

“And here I was thinking this would be better with popcorn,” Gerry responds.

A second later, their footsteps retreat down the hall.

“You shouldn’t have invited me,” I whisper, wishing that each word didn’t chisel away a tiny piece of my heart. “If your wolf reacts so strongly to my presence, then we need to stay away from each other. We need?—”

“I don’t want to,” Christian responds firmly. His hands ball into fists by his sides, as if he’s physically restraining himself from reaching for me. “I don’t know how I was blessed with you as a mate. It’s rare for a lone wolf to receive one, but not impossible.” He shakes his head in confusion. “I tried to do what was best for both of us, but I don’t want to pretend anymore. When you came into my office the other day and confided in me, I realized that…” He blows out a shaky breath. “I realized that I wanted to get to know you. It isn’t fair that my brother and his pack are allowed to, despite not deserving you for even a second, yet I have to watch from the sidelines. I know it’s selfish of me?—”

“I don’t think you’re selfish.” My heart pounds against my breastbone. “Before you returned to the school as the vice principal, you were living in the forest, correct?”

He blanches, all of the color draining from his face, but nods once. “I built a tiny cabin a few miles away from everyone.”

“Because you wanted to protect the people you love?” I phrase it as a question, but I know it’s the truth.

Still, Christian nods once more, the barest dip of his chin. “I wasn’t sure when the wolf would take over. I needed to protect my friends and family.”

“But when your father asked you to come back, you did, didn’t you?”

His brows scrunch together in confusion. “How did you know that?”

“Besides what I overheard you say to Jake?” I shrug. “I suspected for a while that you didn’t want to be here. I just didn’t understand why you came back. Now it makes sense. Your father asked you to do something for him, didn’t he?”

Shock flickers in his blue eyes, accompanied by a myriad of other emotions I can’t read, before he nods yet again.

“Can you tell me why your father asked for you to come back?” I query.

Once again, he nods.

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