Page 28 of The Puck Chase

“I don’t have a fucking hard on for the guy,” I boldly lie, forcing myself to not think about the night a few weeks ago, where I definitely did have a fucking hard on for him.

Alexander holds his hands up in defence. “Okay, don’t get your knickers in a twist,” he coos lightly, and like I did with Nova, I find myself appraising my goalie with fresh eyes to distract myself from the fucking shit show of a day we’ve had.

At 6’4” he is the tallest on the team, and the most built, and let’s not even get started on the fucking monster he is toting around between his legs, but do I find him attractive? I mean, yes, of course he is attractive, with his fucking blond hair and chiselled jaw line, and he has the air of superiority that can onlycome with his parents net worth, but would I kiss him? Would I want him to kiss me?

I let my gaze travel over him, and when I don’t respond to his words, he turns to me, finding me watching him closely, and he frowns. “Have you ever kissed a guy, Alexander?” I ask him, and his confusion turns into a smirk.

“Is that why you’re staring at me so hard, Gray? Want me to kiss you?” he asks with a smile, taking another drink of his beer, and tossing me a wink.

“No, you prick, just answer the fucking question,” I demand, growing impatient, as my eyes flick back to the trays of food and in turn my mind travels to the teammate who fucking hates me, but also knows how to make me come.

“No, I’ve never kissed a guy,” Alexander replies more seriously this time, and when I focus back on him, I note he is truly thinking deeply about my question. “I would consider myself straight, although I’ve never thought to kiss a guy, so I guess I can’t truly be sure,” he muses, before placing his beer on the counter and straightening his shoulders as he steps towards me.

Before I can stop him, he kisses me, his lips moving against mine, and after the initial shock, I kiss him back, just to see if I feel anything. Yet I feel nothing. No flicker of lust, excitement, or even attraction, and when he pulls back, I stare at him wordlessly, but all he does is shrug. “Yep, I’m definitely straight, sorry friend,” he breathes, like kissing one another is totally normal, as he reaches for his beer again. “I still love you though, but I understand if you need some time to get over me,” he smirks with another wink, and I shove him away from me.

“God you’re a fucking asshole, I don’t know how you ever seduce anyone, you should keep your fucking lips to yourself,” I scoff, pulling out one of the trays of food in an attempt to distract myself, but it isn’t enough.

Alexander kissed me and I felt nothing.

Daemon kissed me and I felt everything.

My mind goes to war with itself at what that could mean, and I know I should be thinking about my best friend and his mom, but there is nothing else I can do for them right now. So instead, I think about Daemon Forbes and his fucking hands around my throat, about how he warned me away from him, but then was quick to ask if I was okay after Coach yelled at me for Nova missing practice. Why, out of everyone, do I feel something with him?

“I can’t help it if the ladies love me,” Alexander responds, cutting into my thoughts, his accent thicker than usual, and I shake my head as I place the tray of food into the oven to heat it up.

“I’m sure one of those ladies will castrate you,” I toss back, and my friend only smirks.

“Always thinking about my dick, Gray, you clearly have a problem,” he coos, and I shake my head in exasperation, grabbing myself a beer, and heading for the sofa.

“Alexander, one of these days you’re going to meet a girl who will bring you to your knees,” I tell him truthfully, as he follows after me. “And I’m going to hand her a medal for putting up with all your shit.”

My goalie only shrugs. “As long as I can bring her to her knees too, I’m sure I’ll be fine,” he smirks, and I shake my head again, before draining half of my beer.

I wonder what it would take to bring Daemon Forbes to his knees?

Ifeel like I’m floating on ice, just me, my stick, and a puck, and I feel free. My body feels like it’s moving with ease up and down the ice, and it’s like nothing else matters. I don’t feel any pain, any panic, and there is nothing I need to protect myself from. I am finally fucking free. It’s nice, yet all of a sudden an unfamiliar weight slams into me, dragging me down into a black pit. I’m no longer free, no, I need to escape, and my body begins to fight.

My eyes snap open, taking in the familiar surroundings in a daze, but it’s my current position that has bile rising in my throat. The naked body pressed against my own belongs to a friend, one I’ve never been in this position with before, or anyone else for that matter, but I guess like me, Kara got sick of being called a virgin freak. I know the entire time we havebeen friends that she wanted more, and I know what happened between us today is only going to give her more hope. I also know I should be thankful to her, especially since she didn’t ask about the angry red marks on my body, but as her skin presses into mine, all I feel is sick.

I scramble for my phone and when I look at the time, a new kind of panic rises inside of me.

Fuck. I fell asleep.

Slipping silently from Kara’s bed, I quietly pull on my clothes, ignoring the burning of my skin at so much contact, because right now it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that I have to get out of here, I need to get home. I stumble in a daze to my car, calling Ryan’s phone, but it goes straight to voicemail. Okay that’s good, he’s fine, he’s still at chess club, it always runs late and he doesn’t see his phone, it’s fine.

Everything is fine.

The sun is setting, and as I drive through town I call him again, and again, and still there is no answer. I know the rising terror inside of me is a ridiculous reaction caused by my trauma, but still I press my foot a little heavier on the accelerator. He’s fine, he’s safe, I keep him safe, I take it so he doesn’t have to. I repeat that mantra in my head, as I get closer to my side of town, and when I hear sirens sounding out in the distance, I tell myself it means nothing. It’s almost Thanksgiving, plenty of people get themselves in trouble around the holidays, it means nothing.

Yet as I turn onto my street, I hear it.

The screaming.

So much screaming.

I almost crash into the garden fence when I pull up, diving from the car without even turning off the engine, and then I’m running. The screaming almost cripples me, but I can’t stop,because my father won’t stop. He never fucking stops, I have the scars to prove it, but I’m stronger than my brother, I have to be, it’s why I protect him.

Fuck.

---