Page 47 of The Puck Chase

I’m sure Josh says my name again, but I can’t hear anything but those damn screams, and when something firm lands on my shoulder, I snap. Turning and slamming my fist into skin beforeI can stop myself, sending Archer stumbling back in surprise, as Cap curses in response.

“What the fuck, Forbes?” Nova commands, moving to his best friend’s side in an instant, as my mind finally comes back into focus.

Archer is staring at me with a look I have never seen before, a red mark already staining his left eye, and once again bile is climbing back up my throat. I open my mouth to say something in my defense, what, I’m not sure, but Coach beats me to it, his voice booming across the room.

“What the fuck is going on out here?” he shouts, storming towards us all, but my eyes never leave Archer’s, and the silence surrounding us is deafening. Coach looks between us all, and still when no one speaks, he yells, “Get changed and get the fuck out of here, we’ll talk on Monday.”

I don’t even take off my base layer, just grab my bag and leave the rink without looking back. I’m not even sure how I make it back to the house, but when I stumble to my room and spy the still messed up bed sheets from last night, I can’t hold it together anymore. I barely make it to the bathroom before throwing up, choking on my pain and regret, until I can’t fucking breathe, which is how Josh finds me.

He takes in the scene before him, dropping to his knees at my side and rubbing my back firmly. “You’re okay, I got you,” he whispers, and all it does is make me feel worse. He doesn’t move from my side, not even when I am gasping and retching, and collapsing onto the tiled floor with nothing left to give, still he doesn’t leave.

Instead, he flushes the toilet, cleaning it quickly, before grabbing a glass of water from the tap, and holding it to my lips until I drink it. Only then can I force out the words. “My father is up for parole,” I whisper, like if I say the words quietly enoughthey won’t actually be true, before I add, “I didn’t mean to hurt him, I just needed it all to stop.”

My admission hangs in the air, and Josh nods in understanding. “Don’t worry about anything, we’ll take care of it,” he promises, and even though I believe him, I still feel like my insides are being ripped apart. “Get in the shower, I’ll be back,” he commands, nodding towards it, before walking out and closing the door.

Standing on shaky legs, I rip off my base layer, and stare at myself in the mirror, at all the marks on my skin, some of them so big I don’t even know how I survived them, but I did. I think about Ryan, Jasper, my father, but then my thoughts stray to Archer and the look in his eyes as I hit him. He didn’t deserve it, I know that, I’m sure he knows that, but maybe now he will see why it could never work between us. Because while he was raised to thrive in the sun, I was forced to survive in the dark, and no matter how hard I try, I can never be free, not when I spend my days feeling like I might crumble beneath my loss and failures.

By the time I have showered and head back into my room, Josh is already there, changed into fresh, comfy clothes, and pouring me a whiskey. When I look at him in question, he only smiles softly. “Time to drown our sorrows to our shitty fathers again,” he muses, only half joking, and I can’t help but huff a humorless laugh, accepting the shot and knocking it back.

“Then we are going to need a lot more than this,” I reply, pouring myself another, and he nods, grabbing my sketchbook and tossing it onto my side of the bed. Yet again my eyes snag on the spot where Archer slept soundly last night, and Josh follows my stare silently.

“I’ll always have your back, no matter what, you know that right?” He asks, his friendship and loyalty always offered so freely, that sometimes it’s the only thing that keeps me afloat, and I nod, slamming back another shot. “Good, because guesswhat we are watching,” he beams, slumping into my chair and pulling up his favorite film on the TV.

I roll my eyes, climbing onto my bed, only to be assaulted by the scent of my teammate, and I find myself wishing I had never left my room this morning. That I would have forgotten all about practice, and stayed holed up here with him all day. There would have been no run in with Jasper, no reminder of what I lost, and no fucking punching the one thing that has been nothing but good to me.

At the thought, I discard my glass and grab the whiskey, drinking straight from the bottle, and Josh doesn’t even bat an eyelid. He’s more than used to me drinking to try and escape my trauma. Except for once, I’m not drinking to forget about the marks my father left on my skin, I’m drinking to forget the ones I left on Archer’s.

I guess I am my father’s son after all.

The next few days I feel like an addict trying to avoid seeking out my next fix, and as much as I’ve been a glutton for punishment when it comes to Daemon Forbes, even I can understand a punch to the face. I guess I should have listened all those times that he told me to stay the fuck away from him. Well, message received, loud and fucking clear. Yet after taunting him for years and texting him for weeks, going radio silent just feels fucking weird.

Thankfully, it’s winter break, and after having a meeting with Coach on Monday morning about the incident, I made it clear there won’t be any problems going forward. As far as I’m concerned, Daemon has got what he always wanted, and that’s for me to leave him the fuck alone. I’m still not sure whatmade him snap, or whatever the fuck went on with whoever that fucking Jasper dude is, but clearly it’s none of my business.

My focus now is on the holiday. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and I am heading to the city to spend a couple of days at home with my family, and hopefully forget all about my obsession with a certain broody fucker with an epic right hook.

I just have to make it through today first.

Apparently, Josh Peters has been teaching a class at the ice skating center in town, for some of the local kids, and today he’s holding a special session for one of the little girls. Maddie let it slip that she and Hallie were going to join him for the afternoon, which of course meant Nova would be going too, and when Alexander and I got wind of that we quickly insisted on tagging along, much to Josh’s dismay. Which is how I find myself on the ice at the center, being picked for teams after Josh named both his wife and a seven-year-old little girl, Penelope, as team captains.

The problem is, when Josh found out we were coming, he invited the rest of his roommates to join us. So I’m standing on the ice with Nova, Alexander, our roommate Jake, and then Josh, Daemon and their roommates Levi and Landon. I’m pointedly ignoring Daemon’s presence, just a few feet away where he stands beside his best friend, but I swear I can feel his stare on me like a phantom touch. I don’t know what the fuck his problem is, he’s the one who hit me, and I haven’t bothered him since, so shouldn’t he be happy? He got what he wanted after all, and that’s for me to leave him the hell alone.

Hallie calls his name as her first pick, pissing Josh off completely, but when she calls mine second, I silently curse, still not looking in Daemon’s direction. The girls go back and forth, until Penelope has nabbed Nova, Josh, Alexander, and Landon, and Hallie has taken Daemon, myself, Levi, and Jake. Again, I can feel Daemon watching me as we make our way to Hallie,but I can’t bring myself to look at him. Not when his very clear warning is still visible on my fucking face.

I hold my hand up for a high five from Hallie, glad to see her smiling so freely for once. Marriage looks good on her, even if it is to a moody prick like Peters. “I hope you’re ready to win, boys,” she throws down excitedly, her smile infectious, as we all listen intently.

“Come on, Hals, you really gonna make us try to win against them?” My teammate, Levi, groans, as he eyes the other team, and I laugh.

I’ve never liked the pathetic douche, especially now as he flicks his stare between Josh and Hallie angrily, and I can’t help but feel there is some underlying hate there. Which is weird, because I thought he and Peters were best friends.

“What's stumping you, Jones, is it the seven-year-old they’ve got?” I ask, and from the corner of my eye I see Daemon drop his head to hide a smirk, and it only pisses me off more. “Or are you still scared of Cap?” I add to Levi with a smile, and the prick scoffs at me, but before he can respond, Hallie beats him to it.

“I don’t care how we do it, just that we do. If Josh beats me, he will never let me live it down,” Hallie groans, eyeing Josh where he stands, leaning against one of the goal posts and watching us with a smirk.

With no reason not to piss him off, I skate beside Hallie and toss my arm around her. “Why don’t you kiss me again, Sanders, that will distract him,” I tease loudly, staring at Peters, before offering him a little wave of my fingers like the prick I am. Yet before he can even react, a firm hand lands on my shoulder.

I snap my head around and come face to face with Daemon, his body now dangerously close to mine, as he surprises me by warning, “Don’t even think about it.” His tone is just as dark and lethal as always when he’s talking to me, but it’s only when I meet his stare that I realize something.

Even though his face is the same blank mask as always, there’s something in his eyes, something that I also saw the other night. It’s not a warning, like I’ve always thought it is, it’s yearning. I think back over all our interactions, my heart beginning to race as I realize what they all had in common. He could have left the alley, he could have left the kitchen, he could have kicked me out of his room, but he didn’t, because he didn't want to. Instead, he slammed me against the wall and told me to kiss him, he dropped to his knees and worshipped me. Hell, I probably gave him the least experienced blow job he’s ever fucking had, and he still let me spend the night in his bed without kicking me out.

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