Page 23 of The Puck Chase

“Isn’t he always,” Aurora groans, as Nova and I quickly jump up to start serving, and Diana smiles at us gratefully, as she takes a seat next to my sister.

“Well boys are like that, trust me, I know, but sometimes trouble has a good heart,” she gleams, eyeing her son with nothing but pride, and Nova playfully rolls his eyes.

They have a great relationship, and I’m grateful I get to have her as a surrogate parent when I’m stuck away from my own. A thought that has me wondering if she could help me with my spiral, as I load up four plates with food, and Nova grabs everyone drinks. We dish out whatever everyone needs, and then I take a seat next to Aurora and listen to them chat back and forth.

It’s only when Aurora brings up college, and the possibility of coming to Fairfield U, that I find myself cutting in. “Diana, did you ever experiment with girls in college?” I ask, making my best friend choke on his dinner.

“Archer, what the fuck?” he coughs out, my sister patting his back for him, while looking at me like I have grown another head, but Diana only laughs, more than used to my brand of chaos.

“I’m not sure that is dinner time etiquette conversation, my dear, but yes I did,” she replies sweetly, making Nova almost break his neck as it snaps towards her.

“Mom, what the fuck?” he shouts at her now in alarm, but I can’t focus on him right now, not when I’m in crisis.

“How many? And how did it make you feel? Would you say you're bisexual?” I rush out my questions one after the other, not sure which one I want the answer to first, and Diana ingests them all, as she puts down her fork to focus on me.

“I’m not sure how many, but it was a few,” she replies with a shrug, only increasing Nova’s outrage as he stares at her, mouth open. “It was enough to make me realize I enjoyed it, but then I haven’t been with any others since, so I’m not sure if that classifies me as being bisexual or not,” she adds truthfully, and I nod, thinking over her words.

Maybe that’s what I need, to kiss another guy, see if it’s something I’m into, but how the fuck would I even make that work? I mean, I don’t know if I enjoyed kissing Daemon because he was a guy, or is it just because it was him? Questions I don’t have the answers to right now, which only makes me more frustrated.

“Is there something you need to talk about?” Diana asks gently, placing her hand on top of mine, as Nova now turns to me in question.

“Yeah, Arch, why are you so interested in the topic of experimenting with the same sex?” My sister cuts in, looking as if she knows something I don’t.

Suddenly, even though I trust these three more than most people in the world, I can’t help but clam up. “Oh, erm, I don’t know, no reason, just curious I guess,” I shrug, aiming for as much nonchalance as I can muster, now focusing back on my dinner, and ignoring my now burning cheeks.

I feel both my best friend and sister share a look, but it’s Diana that smiles softly, looking at me knowingly. “Well, the most important thing you should look for in any person is if they have a kind heart, because if they do, well then everything else can just fall into place.”

I’m sure her words are meant to be comforting, and as we move the conversation back onto safer topics, I try to take them as such. Yet not only am I left wondering if maybe my sexuality is something different to what I always thought it was, but now I’m also wondering if Daemon Forbes even has a heart.

My hands smudge the charcoal on the page, blending in the lines I just drew, yet still it isn’t right. I try to correct them, but it only makes it worse, and the anger already burning inside of me intensifies tenfold. What the fuck am I even doing here? Tossing down the charcoal, I slam my sketchbook closed, no doubt making the image even worse, and reach for my cup of green tea as I glance around the cafe. I don’t normally come here during the week, it’s not part of my routine, and it feels weird to not only be here, but also to see it this quiet.

Aside from me there is only one other person here, sitting in another one of the booths, and just one of the girls behind the counter. She greeted me with surprise when I came in, but was happy for me to take my usual order and go sit in my regular spot. I only started to draw to try and distract myself from whyI’m here, and I shouldn’t be here, I know that. I also know that I’m a fucking hypocrite, because why warnhimaway from me, and then turn around and accept an invitation from his sister?

I should be staying away from anyone with the last name Gray, but when Aurora messaged me and asked to meet for a coffee before she left, I had no reason to decline. The last few weeks we have talked almost daily, about everything from art to books we are reading, to the damn fucking weather, and outside of Josh, she feels like the first real friendship I have had in years. A friendship that is easy to maintain because it lives inside my phone without expectations, until tonight that is.

When I came out of practice earlier and she called my name, I wanted to go to her. I wanted to say more than just her name, but as soon as she called mine it was like we were in a fish bowl with everyone just watching us swim by. So I walked away, just like I have so many times before, and I thought that would be it. Yet not even an hour later, she sent me a text message asking me to meet her here, and I should've said no. I should have made up some excuse, or lied about being busy and maintained my distance from the fucking Gray family, yet here I sit.

Aurora is exactly like her brother in every way. She’s insistent and chaotic, yet she hides it in her art and quiet nature, in a way that Archer clearly never learned to manage. She’s also popular, outgoing, and talented in every way, just like her brother. They are my opposite in everything, yet for some reason Aurora and I have a connection through our art. She always takes an interest in what I am working on, and loves to share her own work and get my input and advice, and it makes me feel needed. She reminds me of my younger brother Ryan in a way, and even though I know I shouldn’t, I find myself leaning into that outstretched hand of friendship with her.

It’s nice to have someone, outside of my teachers, that looks at my work and understands it, appreciates it even. Especiallywhen I can still remember the days when I would come home and my sketchbooks would be ripped and my paints completely trashed. My father used to say art was a pointless waste of time, as he made his own against my skin. Ironic now that his own impressions will live on forever as his final masterpiece, no matter how hard I try to forget about it.

The bell above the door jingles, pulling me from my thoughts, and when my eyes flick up, they meet the excited ones of Archer’s sister. She waves frantically, before heading to the counter and ordering something, and I quickly slip my sketchbook into my bag to make some space on the table for her. It feels kind of weird to meet up with her, when I don’t really know her that well in person, but I remember looking for someone to relate to in the art community when I was younger, and I had no one. I don’t want her to experience the same. It’s why I replied to her messages in the first place, it’s why I keep replying, it’s why I’m here now.

When she finally makes her way over, I stand, gesturing for her to take a seat, but instead she places her things on the table, and moves in closer to me. It takes me longer than usual to realize her intentions, given we are practically strangers, which means she is hugging me before I can stop her, and I freeze in place.

“Hi, Daemon,” she mumbles happily into my chest, before sensing my statue-like reaction, and pulling back with a frown.

“Sorry, I’m not much of a hugger,” I grit, trying to calm my now rapidly beating heart caused by her touch, and her face softens into a smile as she takes a seat across the booth.

“Oh no, I’m sorry, I forget not everyone is as touchy feely as I am,” she replies with a shrug. “One of Everest’s best friends is the same, he hates anyone touching him,” she adds casually, probably not realizing how serious of an issue it actually is. “Iswear, once I accidentally brushed Harden’s arm with mine and he lost his mind, it was crazy.”

I almost smile at that, because I understand him completely. When my home life became violent, anyone else’s touch would send me into a spiral, and I would be called all sorts of names like crazy, and though I manage it a lot better now, I still go out of my way not to be touched. Hockey is the only place I don’t avoid it, finding that with my base layer and jersey on, I can put up with it easily enough, but outside of that, I avoid it wherever possible. Even when I choose to fuck someone, it’s done with the intention of them not touching me, and me barely touching them. With one notable exception of course.

“Anyway, show me what you were working on before I got here.” Aurora cuts into my thoughts, nodding her head towards my bag, and I freeze as I reach for my tea.

“Who said I was working on anything?” I reply instantly, and she rolls her eyes in a way that reminds me so much of her brother.

“Your hands are completely stained in charcoal, and I can tell it’s fresh,” she muses, sipping her coffee with a smirk that I can’t help but return.

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