Page 47 of The Puck Decoy

“Mads, seriously I’m fine, it was just a drink.” I gesture to the shirt Josh gave me. “Besides I don’t exactly feel like going back downstairs after that,” I add, my skin still burning from the embarrassment and the feeling of the wet fabric clinging to me like a second skin.

In truth, it took everything in me not to react or show emotion, and if it wasn’t for Josh being at my back, then I think I would have broken down and cried in front of everyone.

“I can’t believe that bitch threw a drink on you,” Maddie snaps, and I can’t help but smile, as I flop down onto the end of Josh’s bed, with her following suit.

“I can’t believe you hit her,” I laugh, still surprised by the fact that my best friend threw down like that.

“You’re crazy if you think I was letting her get away with that,” she tosses back, flicking her hair effortlessly, and I think I surprise us both when I reach out and throw my arms around her neck.

“Thank you, Maddie, you’re a great friend,” I mutter into her hair, and it’s a few seconds before her arms finally return the hug.

When she pulls back she looks a little emotional, but she hides it with a smile. “Do you want to go home and eat ice cream while we watch some oldGrey’s Anatomy?”

My eyes instantly flick to Josh who looks conflicted, and I find myself about to say yes, but then he beats me to it. “She’s sleeping here tonight,” he says with finality, and Maddie shiftsher stare between the two of us now, as if she is finally sensing some of the tension she interrupted when she came up here.

“Okay,” she drags out with a weird smile, rising to her feet. “Then I guess Nova and I will have the house to ourselves tonight,” she tells me with a wink, as I follow her towards the door.

“Yeah, like that stops you, I can hear you guys through my damn ear defenders,” I toss back and she giggles, knowing full well I’m not joking.

“Okay, please get the fuck out,” Josh groans, still holding the door open for her, and it only makes me laugh right along with her.

That is until she bids us both goodbye and is gone in an instant, Josh shutting and locking the door behind her, until we are alone again. That’s when I realize the tension is still there, and not just that, but an awkwardness too, one we have never had between us before, and I already can’t stand it.

“I’m going to get ready for bed,” I rush out quickly, moving to snatch up my overnight bag and flooring it into his bathroom, closing and locking the door behind me.

Only then do I breathe fully for the first time since he almost kissed me, and still I almost choke on it. What the fuck am I going to do now? What is the protocol when your fake husband almost kisses you?

Not able to answer either of those questions, I just focus on getting ready for bed, stripping out of his shirt and my jeans, and then discarding my underwear, opting for a quick shower to erase the stench of Brianna’s cocktail. I don’t take my usual contemplate and cry shower, not wanting to freak Josh out with how long I am taking, and instead just wash my body as fast as I can, and then make quick work of getting dry.

By the time I have gotten dressed and brushed my teeth, I am so filled with anxiety and a nervous tension, that I almost wishI had taken Maddie up on her offer to go downstairs so I could have drank some more. Deciding that I am just being ridiculous, and that the almost kiss meant nothing, I fling open the door to find Josh lingering near his desk, and as soon as I step out of the way he mumbles something about a shower and slips into the bathroom, closing the door behind him before I can even say a word.

Well I guess that answers the question on how we are going to deal with this. Avoidance is key right?

I move towards the bed with the idea of just getting in it and going to sleep only to stop dead in my tracks, taking in some things that definitely weren’t here when I went into the bathroom. There is now a fan sitting on the nightstand, an eye mask with matching ear defenders placed neatly on my pillow, and even a stuffed penguin similar to Percy that I have never seen before.

My eyes scan the rest of the room, and I notice the closet door slightly ajar, and when I investigate I find discarded boxes for all the items that indicate they are all brand new. No, there is no way he bought these just for me, yet when I lean down I find a receipt on the floor, and when I read it I can see that he ordered all these items the day after we got married. The morning after I stayed here for the first time and complained about how hard I find it to go to sleep, and my heart beats wildly in my chest. That feeling is only intensified when I flick my eyes around the rest of the closet and they land on a stack of books up high on his shelf.

Even from here I can see they are heavily tabbed, and with my curiosity getting the better of me, I lean up on my tiptoes to grab them. When I glance down at the titles there is no hope left for my beating heart.

What is Autism?

Girls and Autism

The Autistic Mind

Again I could try and convince myself he didn’t get these for me, but as I flick open the first one, I find his name neatly scrawled across the first page.

Josh Peters, Age 11

The age he was when we met.

Tears burn in my eyes at the thought of him not only buying these, but also reading them enough to tab them, and when I continue to flick through the first one, the emotion thick at the back of my throat only increases.

Make sure to explain jokes if she doesn’t understand them.

Explain exactly what you mean when you talk.

Loves loud music.

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