Page 30 of The Puck Secret

“Are you okay, darling? You look a little flushed.” My mother’s voice cuts into my thoughts from across the table, and I feign a sorrowful smile.

“Yeah I was feeling a little sick,” I start, turning my stare back to Brad. “I am feeling refreshed now though.”

My mom nods, accepting my answer without pause and returning back to her conversation, but Brad keeps his stare on mine. I let my gaze flick past him to Nova for barely a second, but he catches it, and when Nova looks up at the same time with a smile, I watch fury stain Brad’s eyes. I see the moment he works it out, when the pieces fall into place with him, and he sees the moment I silently say fuck you to him. I was invited into this game with him without permission, but that doesn’t mean I won’t play to win. When Brad turns back to me I know he senses the change between us, but someone has to lose, and I can’t let it be me. Not if I am going to survive some bullshit marriage to him.

The rest of the dinner passes without incident, and when we all move to leave, I can feel Nova’s stare on us, on me. It feels forbidden and wrong, yet I find myself making sure I swing my hips just a little as I bypass his eye-line. My focus on him means I don’t feel Brad next to me until it’s too late. When he grabs me by the door, you could mistake it for affection, but as his fingers dig into my arm, I know what it really is, wrath.

Nova is watching us closely now, anger and confusion swirling in him, as Brad leans in close and softly spits, “Stay the fuck away from Nova Darkmore, Madeline, I won’t have a hockey whore for a wife.”

I almost scoff at his misogyny and double standards, as I make sure not to cower from him. “Don’t worry, darling,” I say with a smile, tossing his past affections at him. “Just because I know how good his cock feels in my throat doesn’t mean we don’t still hate each other. Our daddy’s investment is still safe.” I dig my nails into his skin as I pull his hand from my arm with a smile.

Just because I have been backed into this marriage without a say doesn’t mean I will back down to him. If he is getting me as a wife then he will get the true me, not the perfect version of me that my father thinks he has molded. Fuck men and their patriarchal bullshit.

By the time I get home the high from my orgasm has well and truly drained, which isn’t surprising, all the time I spend with my parents is sucked directly from my soul. Yet still I can’t wrap my mind around what the hell happened between Nova and I. It was one thing to suck his dick when I was drunk at a party, but this was completely different. We were both completely sober for one, and two, it was the best fucking orgasm another person has ever given me, but it can’t happen again.

I thought we hated one another? No wait, we still hate each other, that hasn’t changed, has it? I’m not sure anymore. How many orgasms does it take to cancel out someone's hatred? Or was the orgasm that good just because he hates me? He wasn’t soft or gentle, he didn’t ask permission, or demand anything in return. He just took from that which I gladly gave, and didn’t stop until I was begging and pleading to come for him.

It was forbidden and filthy, yet thinking of it has my thighs rubbing together, my release still stained there as evidence of our illicit bathroom affair. I don’t regret it and that’s the problem, I know I should. The hatred between us was easy to navigate, yet now there is this tension that was never there before, or at least I never noticed it. I don’t know how to navigate this new course we are on, and worse, I’m not sure I want to try.

I move to take a quick shower and get ready for bed, and by the time I climb between the sheets I am exhausted from all of the evening’s events. I close my eyes and pretend I don’t fall asleep to the image of Nova’s face clamped between my thighs.

Ispend the next couple weeks avoiding Nova and his damn tongue as much as physically possible. Now if you put a gun to my head then I would not be ashamed to admit that, but will I admit it to my best friend? Absolutely not. I have made all sorts of excuses possible to avoid parties, take different routes to class, and even skip some of Josh’s games. Now I’m not proud of it, but there is no way I can be sure that something won’t happen with Nova if I see him again.

His dark brooding eyes and rough hands haunt my dreams almost every night, and even daily dates with Harold do nothing but make me miss his touch. I am both disgusted and delighted by my need for him, and Hallie has been nothing but unhelpful, constantly asking me questions about our two run-ins. She was absolutely delighted by the bathroom tale, and thought me politely thanking him for sucking his dick was the highlight of her year.

The only light in the dark right now is my Charmer, he still sends me messages daily, although all of his running selfies now include a shirt unfortunately. We have developed a firm friendship that still trails along the line of flirting and a little sexting, but I do my best to keep him at arm's length where I can. Things are complicated enough.

The Lonely Charm: You know every time I eat tacos I think about you

Maddie: Think about me or think about me choking on a taco?

The Lonely Charm: Do I really need to answer that Grim?

Maddie: I guess not, I know you well enough to know your answer by now Charmer

The Lonely Charm: You know me better than most people

I wish I could deny that it wasn’t the same for me, but it’s been over two months since we have been talking to one another. I feel closer to him every day, and I know if I gave in to him and let us explore this, that it would probably be great, but I won’t do that when I know it has an expiration date.

Maddie: So none of your friends know how much you suck huh?

The Lonely Charm: I’m more interested in whether you suck ??

Maddie: ?? Only for good boys

The Lonely Charm: Oh I would be so fucking good for you Grim

The front door slams shut, and I know Hallie is home and will be about to chew my ass out for not being dressed yet. She has ignored every single one of my bullshit made up excuses this week, and forced me to cave into going to the Flyers game tonight. I would have tried to get out of it again, but she went to Josh, and now he has been asking me why I skipped so many games, so I was left with only one option.

Maddie: Guess I’ll have to wait and see. I gotta run, my roommate is dragging me out for some fun and I need to get ready

The Lonely Charm: Don’t worry you are saved by the bell, I’ve got to go anyway. I’ll talk to you later and you can tell me again what a good boy I am

Maddie: In your dreams

The Lonely Charm: Every damn night Grim

“Oh my god, why aren’t you ready yet?” I roll my eyes before I even turn around, but when I do Hallie is eyeing me expectantly.

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