Page 56 of The Puck Secret

“I already did, Princess, and I’ve had better.” The lie leaves my tongue just as the door we came through bangs open and ricochets off the wall, her brother’s furious eyes darting around the alley until they land on us.

I see the second he spots his sister’s crying face, her best friend just behind him, her own face laced with concern as he curses, “What the fuck is going on?” I almost laugh at how protective he is over her, maybe if I had someone protecting me I wouldn’t be in this mess.

Maddie doesn’t answer him, she doesn’t even spare him a glance, her eyes still locked on mine as I stare at her one final time. When Josh reaches us, he looks between us both, no doubt noticing his sister’s disheveled state before turning his focus to me. “Nova, what the fuck did you do?”

Of course he thinks this was my doing, that I hurt his precious sister, he doesn’t care that it’s my heart aching inside my chest. I want to scream that it was her, that it was their fucking family, but instead I just sigh with nothing but regret. “I did nothing, but it’s okay, I’m done here.”

I don’t wait for either of them to respond, pushing past my teammate and heading back inside where I find Archer waiting for me. He takes one look at my face and nods, following me as I cut through the bar and head back out to the street out front. I don’t know where I’m going, or what I’m doing, but I do know one thing…

I need more alcohol.

Who knew three words could tear apart my world so thoroughly? That words and only words could cause this type of internal damage? Most people think of three words and think of good things, happy things, beautiful, life changing things, but they are not the three words that just obliterated me.I’m done here.That’s what he said, that he was done, that we are done, and instead of feeling accepting that our ruse is finally up, all I feel is fractured.

All three of us watch him leave, until Josh turns his focus back to me, his gaze roaming over my body and no doubt noting the evidence of what just occurred before he got here. “Mads, what happened, what did he do?” he asks, restrained rage tinting his tone as he gently touches my arm like I am nothing but a kicked puppy. Right now I feel like one.

“Nothing,” I whisper, my voice cracking slightly in emotion. “He didn't do anything, it’s what I did.” Shock and disbelief are wrecking me from the inside out as I try to make sense of how we got here. How did everything spiral out of control so quickly?

Hallie steps into the alley, coming to my brother’s side as the two of them share a look, before his gaze comes back to mine. “Maddie, what did you do?”

This time when I look at him, I see the fear, the panic of whatever I am about to tell him going to war in his mind as he stares at me. All of his warnings, all of his carefully laid plans that he drilled into me when I came here, now nothing but wasted conversations as I finally admit, “I fell for him.”

Josh blinks, his eyes going wide at my admission as his head snaps to Hallie as if searching for confirmation. Her gaze drops to the floor, not wanting to look him in the eye as he realizes she already knew. Of course she knew, she probably knew before I did, she has been teasing me about him for weeks. So many times I told her it was fun, that it meant nothing, that we were just hooking up, so why do I feel like he just ripped out my heart and took it with him as he left?

Fuck this is bad, so bad. I can’t be here, not anymore. I don’t want to see his teammates, his friends,our friends.I don’t want to be a part of a life I’m not allowed to have, to tease myself with what could have been. I shouldn’t even be here in the first place. I never come to Josh’s games when he is away, a fact he is now realizing as he stares at me with knowing eyes.

“You came for him?” he asks, and he isn’t even mad, just solemn and assessing as he tries to work out how we got here. I nod, and his face softens as he moves towards me and pulls me in for a hug. “It’s okay, Mads, it will all be okay I promise.”

I wish I could believe him, wish his words could affect me as much as the ones his Captain just said, but I can’t because they don’t.Make the guy you hate fucking fall for you.Did I ever hate him? Like truly hate him, or was I just so caught up in our game of witty barbs that I continued to play the role he forced upon me.

Make the guy you hate fucking fall for you.

Fall for you.

Fall for you.

Fall for you.

The words run through my mind over and over, the betrayed look in his eyes as he said them now imprinted in my brain forever. If only he would have listened to me, heard me out, but what would I have said? Did I know he was the one behind the messages before tonight? Yes, I did. Am I due to be engaged in a few short weeks to someone else? Yes, I am. He has every right to feel like I betrayed him because I did. I fucked up and now I have to pay the price for my own mistakes. I should be happy, thisiswhat I wanted, one last night before I left him behind. I can’t have him, I never could, so why instead of being relieved it’s finally over, do I feel like I am dying inside?

“I need to leave,” I mumble into Josh’s chest, before pulling back and swiping at the moisture beneath my eyes. “I’m going back to the hotel, I need to sleep off tonight.” Not exactly a lie, but the truth is, I don’t want to see Nova again. I don’t want to look him in the eye and try to placate him with another lie.

He was right, we are done here.

Josh heads back inside to find my coat and then he walks Hallie and I back to our room, the silence between us all so loud that I can practically taste it on my tongue. Thankfully once we say goodnight and head inside, Hallie understands that I don’t want to talk about it, letting me take the bathroom first without question.

When I look in the mirror I don’t even recognize myself. I’m not Maddie, I’m not even Grim, I am nothing but a liar. My chest aches, a pain which only intensifies when I rip off my dress over my head and find the marks he left behind branded into my skin and soul, and for the second time tonight, I let the shower wash away my tears.

By the time Hallie climbs into bed, I already have the lights turned off and my head buried beneath the covers, praying that when I wake up, it will all just be a bad dream. Yet minutes turn into hours and sleep never claims me. Instead, I open my phone, scrolling through the text thread that once made me smile until my cheeks hurt.

The Lonely Charm: A girl huh? Are you hot?

The Lonely Charm: Did my body offend you Grim?

The Lonely Charm: Then I think I like you Grim

Text after text where he comforted me, complimented me, was just there for me, and was even honest with me. He didn’t know the girl he was telling me about was me. Hell, never in a million years did I imagine it would be, and it just makes it hurt even worse. That the Charmer who flirted with me through the phone, is the same one who claimed me in real life. Yet I don’t know why I’m surprised, I remember telling him that I thought they would get along, why was I so blinded to them being the same person?

I reread every message, dissecting every word until I am cutting myself up on the inside. It isn’t until Hallie clears her throat that I realize how long I have been sulking in my sheets. “Are you coming out of hiding anytime today?” she asks, her voice muffled by the blankets still over my head.

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