Page 2 of Judgments of Fire and Desire

I sat next to her on the swing, and she brought her hand to my cheek. She looked away from me as she lowered her hand. “At some point, baby, you are going to have to forgive him. He wasn’t perfect, but he provided a good life for you. The hatred you have for him is only going to hinder you from completely opening yourself up for love.”

Oh, Lord.“Mama, you know I’m not looking for love. If it happens, great, but it will definitely have to find me.”

She slowly shook her head. “I guess I’ll have grandbabies one day. Hopefully, while I can still enjoy them.”

I rolled my eyes. The woman acted like she was approaching eighty. My mama was only fifty-five years old. She was still going out with friends, dressing like she was twenty-five, and had the audacity to be seeing a couple of men at once. Of course, she called them friends, but I knew better.

She leaned against me. “I just want to see you happy. You can’t be happy if you’re still holding on to the sins of your father.”

I nodded as I allowed the swing to do its job and wrapped my arm around my mama. I kissed her head. “I’m happy, Mama. I promise that I’m open to love. I’m just not trying to chase it down right now. I’m so busy. I need to make sure I’m ready for that and that I have the time to devote to loving someone. When I fall in love, I want to be able to give it my all.”

“Well, son, contrary to what you may believe, love has a way of slowing you down. When it hits you, you won’t have a choice but to slow down and accept that the bug has bitten you.”

I chuckled. “You’re probably right about that.”

“Oh, not probably. I know I’m right about it. Now let’s go inside and eat. I cooked your favorite.”

I frowned slightly. “You cooked surf and turf?”

She frowned as I tried to stifle my smile. “Surf and turf? When did that become your favorite?” After staring at me for a moment, she realized I was doing everything in my power to hold in my smile. “Kyrie Jameel Patrick! Quit playing with me!” she yelled, then swatted me on the arm as I released the laughter I was struggling to contain.

“My favorite is still fried pork chops, French fries, corn on the cob, and two slices of white bread.”

It didn’t matter how old I got. This woman was still going to spoil her only son. I loved her unconditionally for it. She always made sure I was taken care of. Whether she was cooking a meal or offering sound advice, she was always there for me. She provided plenty of swift kicks to the ass, too, when I needed them. It was her love that got me where I was, despite her many attempts to give credit to my father.

Even when he was alive, she was the one who raised me. He was rarely home. He was always traveling the country for thiscase or that one. It wasn’t until he died in that plane crash that I realized it wasn’t his love of democracy that motivated all those trips. It was his greed, power, lust, and pure audacity that had him everywhere but home. There was nothing Carolyn Patrick could say to make me think otherwise.

While I knew I inherited his passion for upholding the law, we were two different individuals. When I found love, or it found me, I would be loyal to it. What good was it to confess your love for someone only to lie to them later? Once I fell, I would be all in. I would devote my life to my woman just like I devoted myself to my career. I would breathe, sleep, and eat my love for her. Whoever this woman was, she had better be ready.

“Let’s go, let’s go!”I yelled as I hopped on the fire truck.

We’d just gotten a call that the courthouse was on fire. Several people were trapped inside. Our station was the furthest from the courthouse, but our help was definitely needed. The courthouse housed hundreds of employees, not to mention the people who were there paying taxes or present for court proceedings.

For every call like this, I found my heart beating erratically. I had to take deep breaths to steady it. As we traveled, I heard them say through the speaker, “Everyone in Judge Patrick’s criminal court is trapped. There are around fifty people, employees and civilians, inside. We need help, quick!”

That did nothing for my nerves as we whipped around the corner. I could see the smoke from where we were. I said a short prayer that God would help us rescue those people and that there wouldn’t be any casualties, then began taking deepbreaths again. For some reason, it was taking longer to subdue my nerves this time. It was like my adrenaline was speeding like a rushing river, and it seemed there was nothing I could do to slow it down.

When we got there, we met up with the chief to discuss the game plan for rescuing those people. There were only three in our firehouse, including myself, that were experienced with this sort of rescue. Most of them were fairly new and inexperienced with rescue. After putting on our respirators, the three of us headed inside to meet up with the other firefighters.

When I saw them struggling, I sprang into action, running inside and grabbing the first woman I saw. “Come on! Let’s get you out of here.”

Thankfully, we had up-to-date respirators that allowed speech, although it was slightly distorted and muffled sounding. She nodded as I heard someone yell, “No! Get all of these people out of here first! I’m fine. You’re wasting time by arguing with me.”

I glanced in the direction the voice was coming from and was nearly stunned. The man was gorgeous. He fit the cliché of being tall, dark, and handsome to the tee.God bless it.Our eyes met just as I was looking away. Bringing my attention back to the woman, I helped her out to safety, and the other firefighters helped her out of the building.

We went back and forth until there was nearly no one left. My last trip back into the courtroom, I noticed the man who was speaking a few minutes ago. He was the only one remaining. He’d covered his mouth area with something black. As I got closer, I realized it was a robe.Jesus. He’s the judge.That was why they tried to rescue him first. I found it admirable for him to wait until everyone else was safe.

“Come on, sir. You’re the last one.”

He stood, and I put my arm around his waist, and he put his arm around my shoulder. I could tell he was weak and was probably suffering from smoke inhalation. However, when I stared up at him, his gaze was trained on me. It seemed something happened between us at that moment. I didn’t know if it was lust or just a bond that happened in this moment of trauma. Either way, it didn’t stop me from being totally attracted to him.

“Let’s get out of here, sir.”

He nodded, and we quickly made our way out, hearing the wood cracking all around us. This fire was quickly getting out of control, thanks to all the wood that was probably rotten in spots. This building was extremely old and was probably one incident away from something like this happening. When we got to the hallway where the other firefighters were, I thought he would have let go of me, but he didn’t.

I stared up at him again as he stared at me.Jesus.I didn’t offer any words because, frankly, I didn’t have any… not any that would have been appropriate. Once we were outside, bystanders began clapping. When I tried to release him for the paramedics to be able to take a look at him, he held me tighter to him.

“Thank you. What’s your name?” he asked breathlessly.

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