Page 55 of Judgments of Fire and Desire

I truly understood her turmoil. Although I didn’t have siblings, I could understand being caught off guard and being disappointed or angry with someone you loved because of something they did. I’d been that way for most of my life concerning my father. Just from Coler mentioning that he forced that woman to go on the trip with him didn’t help matters. At least Samuel had time to rectify his actions. The clock had run out on Kenneth Patrick.

I gently caressed her back and listened to her take deep breaths. When she had calmed down some, she asked, “What happened in your dream?”

It was my turn to take a deep breath. “I was being chased. I was on foot, and they were in a car. It seemed I was trying to run to my father in the dream. I could see his face plain as day. The crazy part was that I was a ten-year-old boy. He had smiled at me and stretched out his arms, welcoming me, just before the building he was in the doorway of exploded. That was when I woke up.”

“Wow. I assume you can attribute that to everything that happened tonight.”

“Yeah. It’s a painful reality. Now that I’m no longer angry about the details surrounding his death, I still can’t embrace him. The only person that matters to is me, because he isn’t here. No matter how badly I want to embrace him, I will never get that opportunity again.”

I closed my eyes and felt the lump forming in my throat. After twenty-three years, I was just feeling the effects of grief. The first couple of days after his death, I’d cried like a baby, missing my father. However, once the allegations started flying, my tears dried up, and my feelings of heartache and grief turned into feelings of disappointment and anger and stayed that way until tonight.

Genesis’s arms slid around me, and I opened my eyes, allowing a couple of tears to escape them. She gently wiped them away. “I’m so sorry, baby. But at least you can begin to heal now. The circumstances won’t change. Unfortunately, neither of our fathers can come back, but we can be better to ourselves, knowing that’s what they would want.”

I nodded then grabbed the loofah hanging on the faucet to wash our bodies with. I hated that it took me this long to finally release the anger I held concerning him, but I supposed the point was that I finally released it, and I could deal with the aftermath of it before it totally destroyed me inside. Choosing to focus on my woman’s grief instead of my own, I said, “I’m so sorry about your brother, baby.”

“Yeah, me too. But the bright side is, once he’s arrested, I can talk to him about everything and see what he can do to not only help himself out of this situation but to help you as well.”

I smiled at her as I dragged the loofah over her nipples, watching them harden. My mind had shifted to pleasing her body just that quickly. I wanted to not only relax her mentally but physically as well. There was no way she would be able to take me inside her walls and still remain tense with stress and worry. It was somewhat of a cocky thought, but two things I was confident about was my worth and capabilities.

Lowering my head to her neck, I softly kissed her there then said in a low voice close to her ear, “Thank you for always comingto my rescue. I plan to do the same for you whenever you need me, and that’s including what happens to Samuel Farris.”

She stared into my eyes, and I watched hers fill with emotion. Despite how her brother felt about me, I knew how she felt for her brother. His disdain toward me wasn’t my business. However, her heartache was. I would do whatever I could to ease her pain, dealing with this situation, even help a man that played a role in what was happening to me, no matter how significant or insignificant that role was.

He was definitely involved with people that were out for my blood to protect their greed. Having Genesis in my life had only helped me be a better man. Seeing the growth for myself left me in awe, especially with this. The old me would have let his ass rot in prison. Instead, I was hoping to be able to have him come through my court if he went to trial, just so I could be easy on him. If my gut was right, though, I knew this wouldn’t go to trial. Samuel would drop a dime, if for no other reason than to protect his family and make them proud.

The tears had fallen down her cheeks as I continued to bathe her, but no words had left her lips. I wanted to believe that she was stunned into silence. I could understand her reaction because I was in a state of disbelief as well.

“Arrest warrants have been filedfor two council members, one of them being Commissioner Joe Alfred, two city police officers, and a constable. More warrants are promised to come. The district attorney and detectives are combing through allegations with a fine-toothed comb, being sure to serve justice to everyone involved in the corruption of city and county officials after the incarceration and, later, death of Darlene Doll. They are looking at charges of embezzlement, money laundering, bribery, arson, and attempted murder.”

My mama and I sat in front of the TV, watching the news. Her mouth had dropped when she saw Samuel’s picture. Although I knew this was coming, it did nothing for my emotions. The tears flowed as if I was hearing these allegations for the first time.

“Oh my God!” she screamed. “Samuel! What were you thinking?”

She was staring at the TV, questioning his picture as if it would hear and respond to her. Tears were streaming down her face as well. I went to her and hugged her tightly as my body quaked. I could feel the hurt surging through her. It mirrored mine. Suddenly, she pulled away and stared at me. “You knew, didn’t you?”

I looked away from her. “Yes, only from being present when the lead detective spoke to Kyrie about it.”

“And you couldn’t warn your brother?”

I frowned. “And what exactly would that have done, besides cause me to lose my job? Samuel had already messed up! They already had evidence of his involvement.”

She slowly shook her head. “You put Judge Patrick’s interests before your brother’s. That’s what you did.”

I was stunned. How did what Samuel did become my fault? “You can’t be serious right now. The turmoil I’ve been in the past few days has been overwhelming, and you’re coming at me like I’m somehow responsible. I don’t believe this.”

I grabbed my purse and keys and prepared to leave. As I turned around to head out of her house, without another word, she grabbed my arm. “You’re right, baby. I’m so sorry. This isn’t your fault. Lord, Jesus. I guess I’m just that quickly looking for someone else to blame except the person responsible. Maybe that’s why he thought this was okay. I babied him.”

“No. Don’t blame yourself. We both babied him, but Samuel is a grown man who knows right from wrong. I think Grandma knew what he was involved in. The police were using her as a safehouse of sorts. Kyrie stayed there for a while. I believe it was his way of taking the heat off his issues at work.”

I practically snapped my lips shut, realizing I had said too much. My mama stared at me, her eyes wide. “What issues at work?”

I closed my eyes. “Mama, you can’t say anything. I wasn’t supposed to let that out. He’s been written up several times for insubordination and misconduct. I truly believe the only reason he hasn’t been fired is because of his involvement in this foolishness. He obviously knows names—powerful ones—that are keeping his employment intact.”

She pulled away from me and sat on the couch as I set my purse and keys down on the countertop and went to sit next to her. I pulled her in my arms as we continued watching the news. The constable and one of the city council members had already turned themselves in. Samuel was still in the wind, and it had been over a week since I’d heard from him. Turning to my mama, I said, “Let’s go.”

She frowned slightly and asked, “Where are we going?”

“To Grandma’s house. I’m more than sure she knows where Samuel is. When I messaged her to ask if she’d heard from him, her only response was that he was fine. I haven’t talked to Samuel in over a week, despite my attempts to reach him.”

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