Page 34 of Judgments of Fire and Desire

I swallowed hard and felt like I was about to panic. My gaze was everywhere but on her. I didn’t feel so comfortable anymore. Closing my eyes briefly, I asked, “How is she?”

“She’s okay. Going through a little turmoil with a coworker, but she’s okay other than that.”

“I miss her,” I said quietly.

“I know. She misses you too.”

“You aren’t going to ask why I broke up with her?”

“Nope. That’s your business. She didn’t tell me that you were the one who broke things off. She just said the two of you weren’t together anymore. I never press her for answers. She comes around in her time. I can tell she misses you though. That natural glow she used to have is gone. She’s literally thrown herself in her career. I go to her house on Wednesdays to wash clothes. She rarely comes here.”

I nodded and started eating. The cornbread claimed my attention first. When I tried to pick it up, it broke apart.Sweet Jesus.I looked up at her, and she giggled. Using my fork, I scooped up a piece, and my taste buds felt like they’d entered heaven’s gates. “Oh my God. This tastes even better than I imagined it would. Wow.”

I scooped up more, along with the greens, and wanted to stand up and dance. It was that good. Once I swallowed, I immediately had to sample the oxtails. They tasted like they’d been smothered in butter and the holy spirit. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as Grandma Jean laughed.

“I’m not going to want to leave… especially since I’ll be able to check on Genesis.” I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “This is really good.”

“Thank you, baby. I hate to see the two of you so miserable.”

“I just…” I slowly shook my head. “She doesn’t need to be involved in all this. She wants to protect me. I can’t allow that.”

“She needs to let a man be a man. I try to tell her that when she’s all in hero mode. A man that you love won’t want you putting your life in danger to protect him. He wants you to stay safe and out of the way of bullshit. I get it, baby.”

I took a deep breath as she continued. “But I’m also old school. Things have changed. There weren’t women firefighters when I was growing up, at least not around here. People are so sensitive these days. They don’t want to be called females because they say it dehumanizes them.”

She rolled her eyes. “Humans are an animal species. Male and female. It is not that serious.”

I bit my bottom lip, keeping my thoughts on the subject to myself. Going back to my plate, I cleaned up almost half of it before I decided to pour a glass of Kool-Aid. Grandma Jean smirked at me as she side-eyed me. When I took my first sip, I frowned and smiled at the same time. It was so sweet and tart… every kid’s dream drink. “Whew! That’s good right there!”

She laughed. “You don’t have to gas me up. If it’s too sweet for you, I have water in the fridge.”

“How do I even go from that to water? That would be a shock to my system now. I got this.”

“Mm hmm. You gon’ mess around and christen that bathroom in there too.”

I chuckled but continued eating like she hadn’t said a word. Once I’d finished off the oxtails, rice, and gravy, I went back to the greens. Her plate of food was a lot smaller than mine. When I looked over at it, she was already done and sipping on Kool-Aid.

“Are you going to have room for dessert?”

“Dessert? Please tell me you don’t cook like this every day.”

She giggled. “No, child. This was your welcome to the hood dinner.”

I nearly choked. “Okay, okay. So what kind of dessert did you make?”

“Lemon crumble.”

I frowned. “I love lemon, so it gotta be good. Slide it to me, Grandma.”

She slowly shook her head. When she stood to fix our dessert, I lowered my head as I thought about Genesis. I couldn’t believe fate would land me here at her grandmother’s house. I still couldn’t be with her though. Not right now. As much as I missed her, I wouldn’t change my stance on the subject. I needed to be sure she was safe.

“Here you go, baby.”

She slid it on the table, causing me to chuckle. “Thanks, Grandma.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. You know things will eventually work out with her too.”

I gave her a tight smile.From your mouth to God’s ears.

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