Page 22 of Judgments of Fire and Desire

After taking off my underwear, I quickly strapped up and pulled her to me. Our lips collided, and my tongue sought out hers upon first contact. Stooping slightly, I lifted her by gripping her thighs and pressed her back against the nearest wall. When I pushed inside of her, my eyes rolled to the back of my head. This had to be what Shannon Sharpe felt like in his few minutes of pornographic fame. I was about to growl any minute.

“Kyrie… yes, baby.”

“That’s it, Genesis. Give it to me. Don’t hold back, baby.”

I stroked her and watched her slide up and down the wall, taking all of me like I was made for her. At this point, it felt like I was. I wanted to be the man she needed me to be, just like she wanted to be the woman I needed her to be. The words I wanted to say to her just wouldn’t come out. It was like they were stuck in my throat, threatening to choke the hell out of me.

She placed her hands on my face as she wrapped her legs tighter around me. My eyes went to hers, and it was like she was coaxing the words right out of me. “I love you, Genesis.”

I closed my eyes tightly and increased my pace until I heard her say, “I love you too, Kyrie… so much already.”

I reopened my eyes as she orgasmed all over me. Her walls put a death grip on me and forced me to orgasm right along with her. I was panting hard, but I knew it had more to do with my emotions than physical exhaustion. I stared at her as I continued to hold her against the wall. As I opened my mouth to speak, she put her fingers to my lips, silencing me.

“I think we better go eat before it gets too cold to enjoy.”

I smiled at her, thankful that she knew what I needed and how I needed it. My only qualm was wondering why I didn’t meet her sooner. She was the woman I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. While I was confused as to why I couldn’t seem to express that to her verbally, she didn’t seem to be confused at all. I wasn’t surprised that she said she loved me, too, because I’d been feeling her love for a while. I knew she was protecting her feelings like I had been by not saying it first.

When I stared into her eyes during our moment of passion, the words fell from me. I didn’t even have time to truly think about them or what her reaction to my words would be. It felt right. It felt like a weight lifted off my chest when I said it, and I was able to relax completely when she said it back. I could only pray that it would always be this way between us.

I finally lowered her and allowed myself to slide from her depths. She gave me a slight smile as she got a towel from the cabinet so we could clean up. Finding my voice, I said, “You know this is for nothing, right? I’m going to go diving into your waters as soon as we’re done eating.”

“I figured as much. I can’t be messing up my dining room chairs though.”

I chuckled and pulled her to me. After kissing her lips, I released her and pulled off the condom, throwing it in her waste basket, then took the wet towel from her and cleaned up. Once I’d put my clothes back on and she’d put her robe back on, she grabbed my hand. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to just eat dinner first. I should have put on my moo-moo.”

I chuckled. “Girl, that wouldn’t have stopped a thing. I can disrespect a moo-moo just as easily. What’s underneath it won’t change.” I stopped walking, halting her in the process. When she turned to me, I swept a dreadlock over her shoulder that had fallen from the bun she had them in. “I love you, Miss Farris.”

She smiled, dazzling me with her pearly whites. “I love you too, Judge Patrick.”

When my eyes popped open,and I felt Kyrie’s arms around me, my body heated up. Finally hearing him express his love for me was a high I couldn’t come down from. I knew his soul was uneasy. I’d seen the news, and people were outraged with how much time he’d sentenced Darlene Doll to. In my opinion, he was right. She was supposed to be a leader, ultimately an example for the people of Beaumont. She didn’t just fall from one poor decision. She deceived and betrayed the people for years.

I wanted to show Kyrie that I knew what he needed. After we ate, we took a shower together. I washed his body, refusing to allow him to do the same for me. I told him that the rest of the night was his. While he protested initially, he gave in with a smirk on his lips. After the shower, I massaged his entire body, focusing on his shoulders, neck, and head. He held a lot oftension in those places. I’d learned in the past couple of months that he wasn’t as expressive as I thought he was in the beginning.

We’d bonded over the loss of our fathers… our trauma. Then we’d had drinks, so that probably had made his lips looser. Simply being around him had taught me so much about him. He didn’t like to be pushed. I felt like telling him how much I loved him would have made him feel pressured to say it back. I withheld my feelings for the sake of his. I knew that was what love was all about. I took care of myself, but I also wanted to take care of him too. Sometimes, I would have to prioritize our needs differently.

This weekend had to be about him. He had a rough week with this trial. We’d barely seen each other. I didn’t know if he was still receiving death threats or not, because he didn’t talk about it. Most times, I didn’t want to ask because I didn’t want to put him in a bad head space. I felt like if he really wanted or needed to talk about it, he would. Hopefully, I was right about that.

I slowly turned to him, trying not to wake him. He tightened his grip on me and mumbled, “Please don’t leave. I love you.”

I stared at him, realizing he was dreaming. He then said, “Take me, she has nothing to do with this.”

His grip on me got tighter. I didn’t want to scare him awake, so l slid my hand from his lower back to the middle of it and began whispering a prayer for him. “Lord, soothe his mind. Caress it in Your love. Heal his heart and soul of the torment he’s feeling. Don’t allow fear and stress to overtake him. Let him know that You are his protector and that he didn’t do anything wrong. Strengthen him where he’s weak. Let him know it’s okay to be weak sometimes. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be a need for You. In Your son’s name, amen.”

I brought my hand to his face and gently caressed his cheek. This case had him retreating within himself. It was like sex made him a little more sensitive, and I played on that last night.During sex, his real feelings always came shining through. If he could be that way without sex, he would be making real progress.

I kissed his lips and whispered, “I love you, Kyrie.”

Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, I saw that we had an hour to get ready and get out of here so we could be to the soup kitchen on time. Feeding the homeless was a huge event we put on every year around the holidays. We had a ton of volunteers that came to help us, and I was glad Kyrie had decided to join us this year.

Just as I was about to pull away from him to get out of bed, he said, “I love you too, Genesis. Thank you for praying for me, baby.”

His eyes opened slowly, and the torment I saw in them caused me to pull his head to mine. “I will always pray for you. That’s one way I show my love. I care about your soul, baby.”

“That’s the ultimate love. I love the way it feels.”

He kissed my forehead, then the tip of my nose, then finally, my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he pulled away. “Nope. Don’t get carried away. You were about to get up. That means the time is getting close for us to leave.”

“We have time,” I said softly.

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