Page 98 of Honey Pot

They were pleading for comfort.

The only problem was the kind of comfort they wanted was found in the bottom of a bottle of vodka, or the purse of one of those rich moms sitting in the living room. Every single one of them probably had something to numb the itch.

I hadn’t realized how tense Dean was until the sound of everyone downstairs faded and it was just the two of us again, sitting to the soft, sad melody of some random Beach Boys song. We had spent so many of the nights here, stashed away from the world because it was the only place Dean could find peace while he fought a silent war with his family.

“You’re on my official list, you know.” I kicked my foot out and knocked into his outstretched leg as I turned toward him with my legs crossed against his side.

“What kind of list, assassinations?” He joked, but it was empty and almost sad.

“People that I owe apologies to, I guess.” I flipped my hat off my head and set it down to run my fingers through my hair. It was getting too long and curled at my nape in sweaty bundles. “I’ve put you through a lot of shit over the years.” I wanted to get close to him but settled for tucking my hands into my lap. “And you just took it even though you shouldn’t have. It made me no better than your siblings, and I’m sorry that I did that to you when you were already dealing with them.”

“You weren’t all bad, Cael…” Dean said, but I cut him off before he could keep going.

“This isn’t about me, and it’s not about making me feel better. It’s about all the shit I did that hurt you, that I shouldn’t have done. And I’m sorry.”

He looked up from the bottle with those devastatingly blue eyes and gave me a tight nod.

“But listen, I need you to take one more round of shit,” I said and he shook his head, his body instinctively turning toward me. Ready to walk me back fromthe ledge I was on. But it wasn’t my turn to be led; it was his. “Not for me,” I added and finally closed the gap between us. “I need you to do this for yourself, and I’ll be there to back you up when you’re ready. But you need to stop hiding from them.”

“I don’t know; it’s working out pretty good for me.” He curled one of his long legs around me as I settled between his legs.

The connection and the closeness made us both feel less tense and awkward. But something settled; it didn’t feel romantic, or the start of something like it normally would have. It felt light and platonic. It made me a little sad but I swallowed it down and focused on Dean.

“Is it?” I asked him.

Dean had always been like this. Sturdy and quiet. He was reliable and charming. His stupid soft, blond curls and pretty, perfect smile had me sold the moment he introduced himself. It was a surprise when he cornered me in the locker room after practice, our lips meeting for the first time. That make-out ignited a three-year-long, on-and-off-and-on-again, twisted relationship that hurt us both in the end.

I sank into Dean to distract from my sadness, and Dean used me as a safe haven when the pressures of his family got too heavy or too hard. We were bound to go up in flames at some point but, through that fire, our friendship grew stronger every day and I could tell that hiding was really starting to eat at him.

“This isn’t me pressuring you to do it.” I rubbed my hands over my face. “Come out to them when you’re ready, don’t at all if that’s what you really want, but I just hate seeing you sad at these things. The gala, the exhibition games. Don’t you want to celebrate with someone when we win or go home to someone when we don’t?” I asked. “And don’t say me because I mean someone who will really be there foryou.”

I just wanted him to be able to have those moments the same way all the other guys did without the worry that he was upsetting his family.

“Of course I do,” he answered after a long break.

“You deserve to have it, Dean,” I added. “More than anyone here,you’ve earned that.”

A knock at the door silenced whatever he was going to say next, and Silas popped his head in. “I didn’t mean to interrupt, but she actually showed,” he said and my heart leaped.

“Go.” Dean smiled at me and slapped the side of my face. “Hey, Cael,” he said as I stood and looked down at him. “Thank you for loving me the way I needed, even when it was hard to hide. You’re my best friend.”

“And then some.” I kicked his shoe, leaning over and kissing the top of his shaggy hair.

With one final look at him I made my way out into the loft and leaned over the banister to find her in the chaos below. A smile spread across my face as I found her, dark, soft curls around her beautiful round face and a small blush to her cheeks as she realized where I was. It had been nearly twenty-three years of knowing her, but Clementine Matthews had been stealing the air from my lungs every second of every day since the day we were born.

I had never needed a breath to live; I had only needed her.

MATTHEWS

Cael stared at me from the banister that hung above the giant, very crowded living room with the biggest smile on his face, and it made my heart race. The beige dress shirt he wore was unbuttoned around the collar, showing off his light layer of chest hair, and the thin necklace was fancier than I’d expected. His jaw was covered in scruff, making him look so much older. I wanted to know how it felt on the skin between my thighs. I smiled back at him; for once he looked relaxed and happy. The darker blue flecks in his eyes vibrant as he leaned back from the banister on his heels and showed off the swell of his biceps beneath the loose sleeves of the shirt that rolled at his forearms.

“You can put your bags in here.” Zoey wrapped her hand into the crook of my elbow and led me back to a second set of rooms that had a few beds each. “Most guests share, so Ella and I thought it would be fun to have a mini girls' weekend. We’re going to stay in here with you so that you don’t have to bunk with any of the parents.”

Zoey smiled at me in her yellow tank top and jeans. Her long brown hair was pulled into a loose bun at the back of her neck, and she had a sweet little dimple on her cheek.

“That sounds wonderful.” I inhaled, and the breath came back out a little shaky.

“Are you okay?” She asked me.

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