Page 97 of Honey Pot

She had worked my shoulder harder than ever in the week since the bet at Hilly’s, and I had earned it. Sneaking into the bat cages, even if I was being careful…was stupid. But not any more foolish than believing that somewhere, tucked between all the good times Clementine was having, was the possibility that I convinced her to stay.

I didn’t want her to leave and, with the weekend finally here, this was my last chance to prove that she belonged with me. I would follow her if she asked. It wasn’t the first time I had thought about it, it plagued me a lot after we moved and I had come up with a lot of plans, but then she never responded to my calls or letters, so I just let her move on because it was what I thought she wanted.

But seeing her now, that day in my Dad’s office, I knew instantly that’s never what she wanted. We still had that connection, and I think she was finally aware of it.

“How is…” Ella set the crate down on the counter and lowered her voice, “theClementinething?”

The cabin was already packed with people. Sawyer and Lucas had come in and Arlo was talking to them on the deck as Nicholas hovered inside. Therelationship between the four of them was still pulled pretty tightly, with Arlo not quite ready to forgive Nick and nobody blamed him. But he was trying.

Silas, with his messy, dark hair and beard that had grown less patchy recently, was forearm-deep in turkey, his soft-spoken mother giving him pointers as he shoved more garlic inside. Family weekend was nice, but most of the parents didn’t really come anymore. The younger guys, sure, but the older players' family weekend was just a nuisance for them to all come out. Thanksgiving, though, everyone showed up when the Shores invited them.

The entire house smelled like baked goods, sweet potatoes, green beans, and stuffing. It was my favorite holiday, hands down. Professor Tucker helped Mr. Shore set up more tables, Van and his sister, Cosy, wrestled playfully as they laid out place settings, and Dean stood uncomfortably in the corner with his siblings and their significant others.

“Emergency services are needed,” I said to Ella.

“Hey!” She whined as I dropped the boxes of food and kissed her cheek.

I was avoiding her interrogation, mostly because I wasn’t even sure how to answer her. I wasn’t going to lie and tell her it was going great because it wasn’t, we were a mess but it wasourmess. And that counted for something.

“Mmm.” I heard her groan as I brushed through a crowd of loudly laughing, drunk dads, past the gaggle of moms bringing up old embarrassing stories of their sons.

“Oh, hello.” I nearly tripped over a small child stumbling across the floor and scooped her up in my arms as I continued on. Her little fingers wrapped around mine, spinning the rings in amazement. “Well, aren’t you adorable,” I whispered against her curly blonde hair and scanned the room.

“I’d recognize those eyes anywhere.” She giggled as I bounced her in my arms and spun around another group of bodies in my way.

“Who the hell gave you a baby?” Dean laughed as I approached.

There was a quick moment of her and I looking at each other, confused, before I looked back at Dean. “It was just lying around here… you know it kind of looks like you,” I said, leaning back to inspect it and only making her giggle more.

Dean shook his head. “Her name is Josie,” he said. They shared the same big teal sea-glass eyes and curly blonde hair.

Honestly, everyone in that family did. Anna’s was longer but curly and her eyes were framed by pounds of mascara. His brother, Harvey, was taller and skinnier than Dean, exhausted-looking as he sighed. They hated me and God damn did I love it. Seeing their scowls gave me a rush of adrenaline.

“You didn’t tell me you had kids!” I teased, brushing my nose against the baby’s to make her laugh.

Anna scowled. “Give me my daughter.”

“Sorry, we bonded.” I held her tighter and she cooed in response. “I’m keeping her.” I was joking, but the baby laughed and Anna grew more impatient with me every passing second.

“Cael,” Harvey first named me.

“What,Harvey?” I sneered. “If Anna is anything like you, she’ll have ten. She won’t even miss one, and you like Uncle Cael don’t you? Don’t you…” The end of my sentence turned into baby talk as I tickled her belly. Harvey didn’t like that joke, his hand rolling tightly around his beer. “Do you even give them names, at that point? Or are they just numbers?” I asked, never getting an answer as Anna took the baby by force.

“Ooh alright, not in the mood I see. Fine…a baby for a baby,” I announced, snatching Dean by the collar of his dress shirt and dragging him from his corner.

I threw my arm over him and walked with him back to the stairs. “Come on.” I nodded to the rooms, and he didn't argue with me. Soon the sound was blocked out by the door of our room, I put on one of Van’s old records and sank down on the floor next to the hulking frame of my best friend.

Dean peeled at the label of his beer.

“I’d offer you one but—” He said. “You’re doing really good.”

“I’ve been seeing my sponsor a lot,” I admitted.

I had gone to lunch with Josh yesterday. After everything I could feel the walls bowing in on me and it was getting harder to say no. I was fully aware that I was relying on my interactions with Clementine to keep me steady and it scared me even more.

Pretending came naturally to me. I would fake a smile or force a laugh. The louder I was, the less likely anyone was to notice that I was breaking down inside. It was simple math, and it had worked for the last seven years.

But my brain and my heart knew that this was the last weekend with her.

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