Page 82 of Honey Pot

“Seven years, no contact? You two know phones exist right?” Silas questioned in awe.

“I called but…she wanted letters, I sent letters,” I said, knowing how stupid it sounded. “I sent a letter every week for seven years.”

“You still send them?” Silas’s brows pinched together. “And she never responded?”

“Never. I used to put them in the basket with Susanna in the morning before school so she’d mail them.” I had taken a spot on the floor and picked at the laces of my shoes. Part of me had always suspected that the letters had never left Rhode Island, but it was never worth the argument. Writing them was what made me feel better, whether or not she had gotten them was something I refused to dwell on. It was heartbreak no matter the outcome because she had never written one to me.

Silas scowled. I could see the gears turning behind his eyes.

“So why aren’tyoumore upset?” Silas asked me.

I wasn’t really sure.

“Because…” I rubbed my hands over my face and straightened up. “Because we grew up together, attached at the hip, it was always Cael and Clem,” I said to him, “There was never a moment for her to just be Clem, on her own. She spent her entire life keeping me alive, keeping me on the right track and protectedfrom the world, and I thought maybe…” The idea of her alone made my heart clench tightly.

“She told me that day that she was just my shadow. She believed that if I left, she’d just fade into the sunlight, and that broke something inside of me.” I hadn’t meant for the day to become therapy and Silas was taking it like a champ, but I missed Arlo. He would tell me to shut up and figure it out.Two steps at time.

Except he wasn’t there to walk with me, so that felt useless and only made me upset.

“I thought maybe she’d find herself and be grateful that I left her, and even if she wasn’t grateful, even if she came back spiteful and mad, then at least she had figured out who she was without me. I just held onto the hope that she was able to spread her wings. It was the least she deserved for everything she ever did in sacrifice for me.”

“That’s stupid, Cael.” Arlo’s voice fell on my shoulders and I turned to the door. He leaned against the frame with his duffle curled into his fingers. Black hoodie, dark jeans, and a Dallas Ranger’s ball cap pulled down over his dark hair.

“You’re back.” I pushed to my feet, not realizing how sad I had gotten. Before he could protest, I wrapped my arms around him and, despite our size difference, I buried my face against his shoulder.

“You’ve made a mess while I was gone, Kitten.” It took him a moment, but eventually he hugged me back, tight and welcoming.

“Turns out I have the ability to destroy everything, sober or drunk.” I pulled away and looked at him for a second. “You look dumb in that hat,” I added with a sad smile and flicked the brim up off his browline.

“You haven’t destroyed anything.” Arlo grabbed the back of my neck roughly. “Nothing that can’t be fixed.”

“You’re early,” Silas said, standing from his desk. “We weren’t expecting you until Thanksgiving.”

I stepped back so Silas could find his space in the circle and wiped my damp cheeks with my shoulder before breathing out a slow shaky breath.

“Blondie called.” Arlo looked over at me. “Said we had an F4 on our hands.”

“It’s not that bad.” I shook my head.

“He had a threesome with his ex-boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend,” Silas corrected.

“She was never my girlfriend.” I scowled.

“Sorry, I’ll elaborate better,” Silas snapped and looked at me. “He had a threesome with his ex-boyfriend, who is having an identity crisis about who he is, and his childhood best friend, who he fucked once and then never saw again for seven years until…”

“Two months ago,” I finished for him.

“Two months ago.” Silas sighed, rubbing a hand over his beard and closing his eyes to take a moment before saying, “you’re a liability.”

“Awe thanks, Grandpa,” I cooed at him and Silas shook his head, disappointed and completely over it.

“So where does that leave us?” Arlo asked, setting down his duffle bag and wandering into the office.

“Cael here wants me to search for a man named Julien.”

Arlo turned to me. “Why?”

“Clem was talking to him on the deck the other day. He called herClemmy.”

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