Page 124 of Honey Pot

“Do you love him?”

Déjà vu.

“I’ve loved Cael from the moment I figured out how to love.” I don’t hesitate.

Ryan smiled with a soft nod. “I was asking about the other guy.”

“Of course you were.” I sighed and sat down on my bed, completely defeated.

He entered the room and grabbed the chair from the desk, spinning it around and sitting on it in front of me.

“I need you to understand that everything I’ve done up to this point in Cael’s life has been to protect him.”

My brows raised in question. From everything I’ve heard, their relationship was tense at best, and Ryan floated in and out of the picture without caring about who Cael was or what he did outside of baseball.

“Rae and I.” He offered me a sad smile when he mentioned Lorraine’s nickname. “We fell in love at a young age, and it dictated my entire life,” he explained. “I don’t regret a second of it, but I wanted Cael to make his own decisions.”

“And he couldn’t, not with me around.”

I was starting to understand where the conversation was headed.

“Hewouldn’t. I tried repeatedly, but every decision he made, he did so with you in mind. He never chose himself, Clementine.” Ryan said. “I knew that leaving Texas wouldn’t be enough space. I knew that no matter where he was, he would always find his way back to you, for better or for worse.”

I pressed my lips into a thin line as the puzzle pieces came together.

It had all started with the bird. The miscommunication hadn’t been our fault.

Ryan had shoved the wedge between us.

“I knew it the moment he sacrificed his sleep and food to keep that bird alive for you.” The confirmation was deafening. I pushed off the bed and stepped back from Ryan until my back was pressed against the dresser, and there still wasn’t enough space. “You were both in too deep after–”

“Don’t.” I stared at him. I didn’t want to talk about that day.

“He was glued to you, Clementine. He would have followed you no matter where you went, and you needed space from each other.”

Shock clawed at my throat. Realization heavily weighted against my chest.

“Was my Momma in on it?” I asked him. “Did she have the same views on the situation? Did she not want us together?”

“No, she had nothing to do with this. If anything, that woman believed in true love more than anyone I’ve ever met.” Ryan shook his head. “She hated that you were pulled apart.”

“But you thought it was for our own good?” I furrowed my brows at him in anger.

“It was. Look at you, Clementine! You’re a journalist, you did it. You’re so intelligent and sassy. There are tiny pieces of not only your ownmother but Lorraine in you and I’ve never been so grateful for your time here… I’m proud of you.” Ryan didn’t move from his chair. "You thrived without him. No longer following him around like a puppy, you found yourself, and you wouldn’t have done that waiting by the phone for him to call, and we both know it.”

“You don’t get to decide our fate!” I raised my voice. “You should be proud ofhim.”

“I–” He paused with a curt nod, wanting to argue but something stopped him. “That’s why I’m here,” Ryan said, digging out something from his sweater pocket. It was a stack of letters in all assortments of colors. “He wrote to you once a week, every day. For seven years, Clementine. This is only a portion of them. The rest are in my truck.”

“What?” I stuttered, my body in shock as he held it out to me.

My hands shook as I took them from him. An elastic band held together what looked like close to forty letters.

“Every week until the week you showed up here. He used to drop them in the mail collection for the secretary, and I would take them out before she mailed them,” Ryan confessed. “You needed a complete disconnect. I couldn’t let him believe there was still hope.”

“But he did, even without a response from me.” I shook the bundle of letters. “He believed for seven years, and I thought he had forgotten about me. I thought he didn’t care about me anymore, and he sat here, writing these letters to my ghost. And you let him?” I practically snarled at him. “How dare you!”

“Clementine,” Ryan started. “I’ve made a thousand and one mistakes over the last seven years. The biggest one was thinking I could stop you two from getting back to one another. I can’t control fate, and I’ve never been able to control my son.”

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