Page 4 of Architect's Christmas Nanny

“Come here, Junebug,” Brad said, opening his arms again.

But Josie moved to Jillian instead, sliding onto her lap and leaning her head on her shoulder, just like she had done when she was littler.

“What if we celebrated Christmas together?” Jillian heard herself offer. “I could come to Trinity Falls with you, if it’s okay with your dad, just for one last Christmas together.”

Brad nodded to her as he leaned over to pat Josie on the shoulder.

So much for a clean break.

2

BRAD

Two weeks later, Brad Williams drove slowly through the velvet darkness of rural Pennsylvania, with Josie asleep in the back. Out the window, he could see outlines of familiar fences, fields, and the occasional farmhouse twinkling with Christmas lights.

It probably wasn’t the easiest territory for most people to navigate when the sun was down, but he still knew these winding roads like the back of his hand, and it felt good to finally be coming home.

But for some reason, the idea of it brought none of the relief he expected. Instead, Brad found his thoughts kept veering back to Jillian. She had insisted on staying behind to supervise the movers, and was planning to take a flight out tomorrow morning to join them in Trinity Falls. The thought of it left him unsettled. He knew she didn’t like take-offs or landings, and now she was going to have to endure one of each all by herself tomorrow.

He couldn’t help wondering what Jillian was doingright now—alone on her very last night in the penthouse. He imagined her curled up with a book on the cozy chair in the living room, which was one of her favorite spots.

And even though he sometimes jokingly teased her about her reading choices, Brad secretly loved having her there—a comforting fixture whose presence never failed to calm his spirits. And she admitted to him once that even though she was only reading quietly, it wasn’t nearly as lonely as reading in her room.

He had decided to leave most of the furniture behind, so at least her reading chair was there for her tonight, even if she was all alone. Brad was going to hang onto their city home for a little while, until he was sure the change in environments was as good for Josie as he suspected it would be. Jillian had suggested they bring Josie’s bookcase and dresser so that her new room would feel familiar, and Brad agreed. Even though Josie was probably old enough to be just fine without all of her things, it would be nice for her to have some of her favorites to help her feel at home.

She’s so attuned to Josie,he thought to himself for about the hundredth time in the last week.

He remembered the way Jillian had looked on Thanksgiving night, her eyes shining with excitement as she and Josie showed him the meal they had prepared. The woman never seemed to get tired or resentful, no matter how many hours she invested in his family.

Maybe because we’re her family too,a little voice whispered in the back of his head.

But that was silly. Jillian was a beautiful young woman, with dreams of her own that she had selflesslyset aside to help him with Josie. Sure, she might miss them a little at first when they parted ways, but only a monster wouldn’t want to see her spread her wings. And he wasn’t about to stand in her way any longer. She had earned her chance to fly, and then some.

Of course, he also remembered something else from that Thanksgiving night.

I almost told her how I feel, how much I’m going to miss her…

He was glad he hadn’t though, he assured himself now. It was good that Josie had run in when she had. After all, what he felt was just an infatuation—born of the potent combination of him never getting out except to work, Jillian’s soft smile, and the vision of his daughter with a mother-figure.

It was all well and good to enjoy playing house with a beautiful and kindhearted young woman. But at the end of the day, Jillian was with them because she was being paid to be there. She did her job with all her heart, but it was still a job.

Sometimes it feels like love…

But it wasn’t love. And when he took a deep breath and forced himself to imagine looking backward a year from now, or ten, he knew he would be glad that he’d kept his feelings to himself. Over time, he was certain that he would be proud of the fact that he handled this attraction like an adult, and didn’t make Josie’s nanny uncomfortable with his feelings when she was going to have her hands full enough with his daughter’s emotions as they said their goodbyes.

And even on the tiny off-chance that she sharedsome part of his attraction, or wanted to explore the idea of dating, it wouldn’t be right to do anything that might slow her down from chasing after her own future. She had spent too much time sacrificing her needs for his.

If she took the position with Val and Aimee Butler, she would have regular hours and plenty of time off for writing. Butler had so many employees that Jillian could probably even get long periods of time off and travel, if she wanted.

Who will hold her hand when the plane takes off?

But he couldn’t think like that if he wanted to get through this last Christmas. He’d made it this long, almost a decade, and it would be awful to ruin their happy memories by shaming himself and embarrassing her at the very end.

“Dad,” Josie mumbled softly from the backseat.

“Hey, Junebug,” he replied a little too brightly, trying to stave off the guilt he felt every time he let himself think about Jillian for too long. His focus should be on his daughter, as it always had been.

“You said we don’t have enough space for a dog,” Josie said sleepily.

---