Page 28 of Architect's Christmas Nanny

Hold onto yourself. You’ve only got a few more weeks.

9

BRAD

Brad dropped Josie off at school the next day feeling more and more like he was losing himself.

A view straight out of a Christmas card spread out in front of him. Snow drifted gently onto the lawn of the elementary school, dusting the grass and the old stone building like a sprinkling of powdered sugar. Kids in colorful coats scampered toward each other, smiling and laughing under the bare, silvery branches of the big tree that had been there since he was a kid himself.

Only Josie looked out of place.

He watched his daughter’s small form trudging off toward the doors of the school, not looking around at the snow, not even turning her head when another kid waved at her.

Was this the right decision? Do we really belong here?

And if he was being honest with himself, this feeling that he was making a huge mistake wasn’t just about Josie.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the expression on Jillian’s face last night when he offered her a job. And he heard the edge in her voice when she told himnofor what he thought might have been the very first time since the night he laid eyes on her nearly a decade ago.

Did she know what I really wanted to say to her?

He was pretty sure she had known exactly what he had been about to say. And he was also pretty sure she was kind of offended about it.

I won’t stay for that.

Her words echoed in his head.

It pained him that he couldn’t seem to do anything right for the two people who mattered most to him.

Glancing at his watch, he tried to imagine how to fill the hours that stretched out before him now. His mom was going to bring Josie back to him after school since she had to be in town for something else, so he wouldn’t even have that errand to look forward to.

He got back in his car and started off in the general direction of home, wondering if Jillian would be there, but guessing that after last night, she would most likely make herself scarce today. And that was probably better for both of them.

What he really needed to do was get in touch with Sloane Greenfield and sign the lease on Amanda Luckett’s place. But with Josie so unhappy, he hated to further cement the move by renting an office.

And he didn’t really want to meet with Amanda again. It was clear yesterday that she might be open to something more than a professional relationship. He’d been out of the dating world for a long time, but hewasn’t blind. And there was certainly nothing wrong with her. But as much as he wanted to, he felt nothing for the woman from his past. He’d spent a whole lunch with her gazing into his eyes and smiling at him encouragingly, and it hadn’t set off the tiniest spark in his heart.

Yet last night all Jillian had to do was innocently offer him a mug of tea, and he’d been ready to confess his undying love to her.

Of course he had chickened out in a big way, but for the right reason—because he cared about her. And what she wanted most in the world, he couldn’t give her.

I can’t give her what she wants. I can’t make Josie happy…

But it hit him suddenly that there was one thing hecoulddo for Josie. Putting on his turn signal, he pulled a quick U-turn and headed back toward town. He stopped at the bank to use the cash machine, and then hopped back in the car and headed for what he hoped was the place he was meant to go this morning.

By the time he got to his destination his mood had improved, and he was whistling along with “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” on the radio.He parked out front of the animal shelter, and headed to the front, smiling at the Christmas decorations. The door was locked, so he pressed the button for the bell and stepped back to wait.

A moment later, it opened and a familiar figure stepped out.

“Brad Williams,” Helena Fox said cheerfully. “I heard you were home again. Good to see you.”

“Hi, Mrs. Fox,” Brad said, glad that the shelterdirector remembered him. “Yes, Josie and I are living in one of the cottages over at my parents’ place.”

“And now you have space for a pet?” she guessed.

“And now we have space for a dog,” he agreed. “But I thought I’d better come see you on my own. Josie is liable to fall in love with the first pup she sees.”

“A girl after my own heart,” Helena said with a big smile. “I’m going to have you come on in, but there’s a lady here with a dog she needs to surrender, so I’ll just have you wait while I help her. I had the door locked so no one came in without knowing what was going on. She’s really upset, unfortunately.”

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