Page 26 of Echoes of Us

She turned towards Noah, then hunched her shoulders. “I don’t think he thought you were coming tonight. He’s a little out of it,” she explained.

“What does that mean?” I asked.

She just shrugged again. I looked back at him. His eyes were half-lidded, and he ran his tongue over his lips. One of the hands over him grabbed his chain, and he pushed it off with an annoyed look. I hated the way they were touching him. The scene felt surreal, as if I were watching someone else entirely—someone I didn’t know.

“Maybe I should go. Thanks for hanging out with me,” I said, pushing off the couch.

“Atticus, wait,” she shouted over the music.

I turned towards her and then looked back at Noah. He was looking right at me. He’d stopped dancing. His eyes, even in their haze, found mine, and for a moment, everything else blurred out.

“Bye,” I said and turned to leave.

I pushed through the crowd and managed to make it intothe elevator. The doors were about to close, but a hand stopped them. The doors opened again, and Noah stood there looking at me. He walked in.

“Hey, you didn’t say hi.” His hair was a tousled mess, and his eyes were frantic and unfocused at the same time.

He swayed slightly and held a hand on the wall to steady himself. I had seen my share of drunk people at parties. I knew this wasn’t it. I didn’t know what he was on, but he seemed so out of it, it was hard to watch.

I looked away from him, feeling a knot tighten in my stomach. “Sorry,” I said.

He stepped closer to me unsteadily. “Why are you leaving?”

“This isn’t my scene, Noah, you know that,” I told him, looking at the wall, anywhere but at him.

“So, why come at all?”

The door opened, and I tried to move past him, but he pushed me back.

“I want to leave, Noah,” I told him, but he smiled, shaking his head.

“No, you don’t.” He moved closer, grabbed my wrists, and placed my hands on his back.

I flinched, feeling his skin. He was sweating. He pushed himself closer to me, looking up. This felt wrong, but at the same time, it was Noah. I wanted to touch him like this. I just couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t really him.

“Noah,” I warned, fighting the urge to push him back and pull him closer at the same time.

“Do you really want me to stop? Because you look at me an awful lot for someone who doesn’t want to touch me,” he said.

My eyes nearly popped from my head.

His smile stretched. “What? You think I don’t know how much you want me?” he whispered. He let go of my wrists and placed his hands on my hips, pushing me backward. “So what’s it going to be, Atty?” He moved closer, pushing himself over me and walking me to the wall. His body felt too hot against mine. “Are you going to have me? Or should I go back upstairs and let someone else have a go at it?”

Suddenly, I had a very clear idea of what Noah whispered in the ears of the girls who stood too close to him. I shook my head, feeling a surge of anger and sadness.

“No,” I told him, hoping I sounded firm.

“No, what?” His smile was still flirty and perfect. I really wanted him, but not like this.

I moved my hands to his shoulders, pushing him back. “I’m not doing this. Bye, Noah.” I moved away from him, pushing the elevator doors open, and walking out.

“Too bad. I would much rather it be you.”

I turned to look at him, but the doors closed. I placed a hand over my chest. My heart was beating in the worst way. I wanted to go back upstairs and make him leave, take him away from this, whatever the hell that was. He shouldn’t be up there. He shouldn’t be doing that to himself.

I left the building, the cold night air hitting my face like a slap.

I had to remind myself to keep walking, each step feeling heavier than the last.

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