Page 154 of Echoes of Us

Fuck.

“He’s not sleeping. Has he been eating?”

“Noah doesn’t eat much, but I thought that was just him.”

“He’s not like that, Att. I know you haven’t known him for long, and you met him in the thick of it, but Noah’s not like this. Noah loves to eat out, and he’s addicted to sweets. He’s never been able to stop at one bite if he has chocolate in hand. He’s loud and obnoxious, but he can stand still. These mood swings. I’m not saying he’s perfect, but that crap with Ezra on his birthday? That’s not him. He snaps at everything. I don’t know how you two are getting along, because all he tells me is that you’re perfect, but I’m guessing he keeps picking fights with you. He loves you, Att. If he’s like thatwith you, can you imagine what it’s like for the rest of us?” Her words spilled out in a rush.

“Holly…” I started, feeling my heart thumping against my rib cage.

“I’m not telling you this to scare you. I know you love him too. I want him to get better. If he starts using again, he’ll stop seeing me, and you’re going to be dealing with this alone, and I don’t want you to. For both your sakes. Please tell me if you think it’s happening again,” she said.

“I don’t know how to tell,” I admitted honestly.

“He’ll be super energetic, almost frantic. He’ll hold his face like he has a runny nose. He’ll be in the bathroom a lot, eat less, and lose weight. Just look out for that,” she advised. “If he can stick to it for a while longer, I think it’ll be alright. He just needs to hold out.”

“What about all the other stuff?”

“What other stuff?”

“The hearing with his mom, the depression, his dad? Doesn’t that make it worse? He’s not going to therapy, and I don’t know how to help with that.” I took another step away from the room and closed the door behind me.

Holly blinked at me. “Noah told you about that? About his dad?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, then I guess that’s good, Att. Noah never talks about those things, not even to me. If he’s talking to you about it, that makes it a lot better.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’m serious, Att. Noah didn’t tell me when his dad died. That’s how bad he is at it. I had to hear from my mom and barely made it to the funeral. If Noah is opening up to you…” Holly paused, thinking it over. “It’s unprecedented. That’s all I’m saying. Maybe I’m worried over nothing.” She gave me a little smile, and I breathed out, relieved.

“Good.”

“Don’t hesitate to call, alright? And keep an eye on him,” she told me.

I could do that. I could keep him safe.

After they left, I got into bed and wrapped myself around him as he breathed softly. This time, I felt restless. I wanted Noah to be okay, but I felt like I was kidding myself—seeing only what I wanted to see. Everyone kept telling me things about Noah, and even though I could see some of it, it wasn’t all. I didn’t think his addiction was this bad, and all I heard was that I was in over my head. I wanted to believe he was over this, but the more I thought about it, the less sure I was.

Two hours later, I still couldn’t sleep. He stirred in my arms. He took a deep breath and stretched against me, his body warm and firm. He blinked as if trying to clear the fog of sleep from his eyes.

“Hey.” His voice was thick with drowsiness. “Where did everybody go?”

“You fell asleep on me. They left to go to Holly’s.” I kissed his cheek.

“Shit, sorry.” He attempted to sit up.

I held him back, feeling his muscles tense under my touch.

He huffed a laugh. “I thought that was my move.”

“Don’t go. You haven’t slept that long. It’s only ten.” My voice came out softer than I intended.

“That’s a solid power nap. We could go to Holly’s. Do you want to?”

“No, let’s stay here.”

He kept trying to push back, and I tightened my grip around him.

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