Page 129 of Echoes of Us

“How do you do it?”

“I don’t want a relationship. Maybe if I found someone I liked…but I’m fine with this now. I’ve told you before that I’ve never felt like you did about Noah. I can only imagine that intimacy makes sex better.”

“It really does, and I knew Noah like the palm of my hand—at least sex-wise. It’s just…” I stopped, looking at him.

“Are you going to say something inappropriate again?” he asked.

I gave him a guilty look.

Colin chuckled and waved his hand. “Go ahead.”

“Remember when I told you I think Noah turned me into his drug?”

“Yeah.”

“It was sex. The last couple weeks, that’s all we did. And it wasn’t just him. It was a quick fix to get him in a better mood. We fought so much towards the end. It was a little excessive.”

Colin scrunched his face. “Why?”

“It was a lot, like two or three times a day.”

His expression was flabbergasted. “Seriously?” He leaned forward.

“Yeah. It got worse after his birthday. Actually, it got worse after that party we went to and had that fight, remember? Everything got messed up after.”

“Yeah, I remember. That explains a lot.”

“It does?”

“Yeah, Att. You two were really close all the time, like physically really close.”

I thought about that. It was just how we had always beenaround each other. Since the day we started getting closer, we never stopped. Not until he left.

“When he left, I was sure he was bored of me, you know? That it had been too much. That I should have said no to him,” I said, rubbing my hands on my face. “I should have said no today too.”

“You know that wasn’t it, right?”

“Yeah, he told me why already.”

“You still haven’t decided what you want to do about Noah?”

“I figured it out. He just doesn’t let me do it.”

Colin waited for me to continue. “Well, what is it?” he prompted.

“I want to be done with this, Col. You know that.” My voice was firmer now.

He shrugged, not entirely convinced. “Do you?”

“Yeah. Of course, I do.”

“Then why haven’t you talked to him yet?” His gaze was unwavering.

I cracked my knuckles nervously. “I don’t know. I don’t trust myself around him. I don’t want to be alone with him. Maybe I could just text him.”

“Are you trying to compete with Noah for the title of worst breakup?” he asked.

I snorted despite myself. “Col, we’ve been broken up for ages. This isn’t a breakup. It’s an I-don’t-want-to-get-back-together-with-you.”

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