Page 73 of Echoes of Us

I walked out of the room, my mind racing, wondering what I was thinking. There was no way this was a good idea. I knew I was tipsy from the beers, lightheaded, and unsure of what I wanted to achieve.

When I came back, Noah stood near the door.

“Do you want to talk here?”

“No, come on.” I led him to my room.

Noah walked in, looking around. He stopped by my desk, glancing down at the TV with a slight smile.

“I need to get this over with, Noah.”

His eyebrows knitted together, the corners of his lips pulling down.

“I need to…” I started and stopped. I needed to get over him.

“I don’t know if I would have chosen this scenario for this conversation. Have you been drinking?”

“Yes. I don’t think I could do it otherwise,” I admitted. “Have you?” It was a loaded question for us.

“I don’t drink anymore.” He held the bottle, showing me it was mostly full before placing it on my desk. “I just carry it around to avoid an awkward conversation,” he explained.

“Okay.” I leaned back against the door, crossing my arms over my chest. “You can sit if you want to.”

“I’m good, thanks.”

We stood there, the silence thick between us, not quite looking at each other.

“You’re the one who wanted to talk to me in the first place,” I pointed out.

“I know. I just don’t even know where to start. I’ve said it to you many times, but I’m sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am.”

I looked at the floor, feeling the weight of his words. Thishad been such a bad idea. I knew what I wanted to ask him. I had rehearsed the questions a million times in my head. I just wasn’t sure I wanted to listen to his answers.

“Did you start using again? Was that it?”

“Yeah, a part of it,” he admitted.

“Harold told me you had people over the night before, you know.” I struggled to get the words out.

“Yeah, I did,” he confirmed.

“Did you cheat?” I asked.

He stepped toward me.

“Noah, just stay where you are and answer me,” I instructed, looking up at him.

Noah brows drew together, concerned. “No. I didn’t.”

“Were you using the whole time?” I pressed.

That one hit the nail on the head. His gaze fell from mine, and he shrugged uncomfortably. “Not the whole time, but I did do it. I lied about it too.”

I knew it. I had felt it in my gut, but he had kept denying everything, making me feel crazy for questioning him.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“You told me you’d break up with me if I did. I was terrified to tell you.” His eyes seemed so earnest, but I couldn’t trust him.