Page 38 of Echoes of Us

“Take it back,” I told him.

He frowned again. “Take what back?”

Noah had filled out in a way I had only seen in old pictures of him. His hair was shorter too. It struck me again how healthy he looked.

“Your application to the team. Take it back,” I said.

He bowed his head in understanding. “I tried telling you about it first, but you blocked me.”

“For good reason. It’s not like you didn’t do it to me first,” I told Noah.

He lowered his gaze. “Do you think maybe we could talk? We could go upstairs,” he said, pointing up.

I couldn’t think of anything I wanted less than being in that apartment with him. Just the thought of it made my stomach turn.

“I’m not going up there and don’t want to hear what you have to say. Just take your application back.”

He took a deep breath and placed his hands on his hips. “Atty, come on, don’t be this way. It’s just a talk.”

“Stop calling me that,” I snapped, and he looked back at me wide-eyed. “Stop acting like it’s alright that you’re back, like we can go back to being friends or whatever you’re trying to do. I’m not going to forgive you, Noah, so just take your fucking application back.”

He pressed his lips together. He was hurt. Well, good. That suited me just fine.

“You can’t take this from me. You’ve already taken everything. I don’t deserve this,” I said, knowing I was raising my voice at him. I let my eyes close and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’m so sorry.”

“Why did you have to come back? This isn’t fair, Noah. You know this is mine. You know I can’t quit the team.”

“You don’t have to quit the team. It doesn’t have to be this big of a deal,” Noah said.

Now I was the one who was hurt. Again. “It doesn’t have to be this big of a deal? Are you fucking kidding me right now?” I asked angrily.

He grimaced. “That’s not what I meant. I didn’t want you to get this upset over it.”

“How the hell did you expect me to get? Did you think I’d be fine with my ex-boyfriend, who didn’t have the decency to break up with me, showing up again and joining my team? You might be used to ghosting everybody in your life, and I’m guessing it’s not the first time you’ve ended one of yourmany relationships like this, but it is a fucking big deal to me,” I said, knowing I was raising my voice. I didn’t care. I was so mad at him.

“I didn’t mean that this wasn’t a big deal, thatweweren’t a big deal.” He stopped to take a deep breath. He was visibly upset.

I didn’t have to care about this anymore. I couldn’t care about this anymore. I was fucking tired of looking after his mental state, walking on eggshells around him.

“Then what did you mean, Noah?” I asked.

He stared at me, at a loss for words. “If we could just talk?—”

“Wearetalking,” I snapped.

“This isn’t talking. You’re just shouting at me,” he said, his eyes wide.

“Well, this is all you’re getting,” I told him.

“Please.” The corners of his lips pulled down.

“It’s disappointing, isn’t it?” I asked him, and our gazes met and held. “When you can’t get a word in and just have to take it.”

His expression froze momentarily, followed by a daunting realization.

“I’m not going to give you the satisfaction. Take your application back.” I turned and walked away from him.

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