Page 169 of Echoes of Us

“I have another song for you,” he said with a smile. It started to play, slower and more melancholic this time, but the lyrics were beautiful as always. The sun was setting outside, casting soft rays on his face, making his eyes look light green.

“It’s nice. It feels sad.”

He nodded, the soft smile still on his face. “It is, but it’s perfect, don’t you think? You make me feel like I am whole again.”

Noah leaned his forehead against mine, and I closed my eyes, listening. I felt his soft lips on my cheekbone.

“I’m sorry, Atty,” he breathed against my skin.

“You already apologized.” I reached for his neck, feeling the hair at the nape touch my fingers.

“I know, but I need you to know it’s true. You don’t deserve to be treated like this.” He kissed my cheek again. “You’re so good to me, Atty. I know I haven’t acted like I appreciate it lately, but I do.”

I reached for his lips, kissing him again. “You’re good to me, too, Noah. It’s just been different.”

“No, I haven’t been good. You deserve better than this,” he insisted.

I swallowed thickly. “So you’ll do better, right?” There was a beat of silence.

“Yeah, I’m going to do better,” he said with a smile.

I pulled his neck to kiss him again. “Then that’s all I need.”

Noah pressed his lips tightly together before sighing. “Can we go to bed? I want to get in bed with you before you leave,” he whispered.

“I can stay today, you know. Sleep there tomorrow,” I told him.

“No, we’re doing this today,” he said firmly.

“Only if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure, Atty.” He kissed me again. “Come on, take me to bed. Let’s have really slow sex.” He kissed the side of my lips, lingering close. He guided us towards his bed.

Once there, he made good on his promise of slow. He pushed me back on the bed and asked me to stay over him. He said he wanted to kiss me the whole time and kept his lips close to mine, his fingers tangled in my hair.

It felt different. Noah was serious. I wasn’t used to him being this quiet during sex. He didn’t joke around or make crass comments. He just kept asking me to slow down and kissed me again and again. When I told him I couldn’t keep holding back, he asked me to flip us, getting on top of me, his cold chain moving slowly over my chest as he rocked his hips and kissed me deeply, holding me in place. I wrapped my arms around his waist, and he moved back, his hand on my jaw and his eyes fixed on my face. He watched me come, and I tried to keep my eyes on him as his movements rode the pleasure out of me. He kissed me and stroked himself, notletting me move an inch as he came too. His lips kept pressing on my face, on my cheeks, my jaw.

I loved him being like this, but it felt different. It was almost like he was trying to make the most of it. It gave me an odd feeling in my gut. I didn’t want to leave him.

We showered together, Noah clinging to me like he usually did, kissing the skin on my chest and neck, his hands roaming all over my body. It felt so good we wound up in bed again, not having sex but kissing each other and feeling our skin warm together. Everything felt so slow, so unlike him, and at the same time, it was perfect. I missed feeling him like this. I missed not fighting and having him close. Noah wanted to drink in the closeness, and I wanted to give him everything he needed.

When we finally got dressed, it was past eight, and Noah walked me to the door. I had my gym bag over my shoulder, and he held onto my hand.

“I really don’t have to go tonight.”

“I swear I’m fine.”

“You’ll call me if you need me to come back? Or you could come over.”

“I’ll call you before I go to bed.” He pushed the elevator button.

“I’ll miss you,” I told him.

He pressed his lips together before nodding. He looped his arms around my neck and kissed me. “I’ll miss you too. I love you, Atty. So fucking much,” he said against my lips.

“Noah—” I started to argue.

“I’m fine, Atty. Go.” He moved away and gave me a bright smile. Or at least I thought that’s what he tried to do; it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

---