Page 161 of Echoes of Us

Heart failure.Those words echoed endlessly through my head.

“How bad was it? I mean, I know it was bad, but…” I could feel my hands shaking and placed them on my lap.

Holly took a deep breath. “He almost died, Att. It wasabout as serious as it gets.” Her eyes were a little red. She sniffled and took a big gulp of her glass.

It felt like the world was crumbling around me. Noah almost died. He almost died. I almost lost him for good, and I didn’t even know it. I was focused on hating him for leaving me while he was in a hospital bed.

“When they let me see him, the first thing he asked me to do was to call you. We tried from his phone, but it wouldn’t go through.”

I rubbed my knuckles over my lips, reining in my emotions.

“I asked him if I should try mine, but he refused. A few days later, he made me promise I wouldn’t tell you. I thought he was going to tell you when he came back, but he didn’t.”

“How long was he there for?” I asked, really regretting for the first time in my life not ordering a drink.

She sighed. “It was two weeks for the surgery, but he stayed for a month, because his mom had him committed as soon as he was cleared.”

“What?”

“She went to the apartment. She still thinks Noah did it on purpose. He was on psych hold and went straight to rehab. He was there for three months. Noah told me he chose that part. He had to keep up with physiotherapy and recovery while he was there. When he got out, he enrolled at Columbia before returning here this semester. He spent the whole time focusing on his recovery, trying to make sure he could play again.”

I exhaled. The pieces started falling together. It wasn’t just the drug-free lifestyle that got him to put on weight and get fit—it was his heart. The modest way he dressed, how he flinched when I reached for his chain, or the way he clung to the towel at the stress test. He didn’t want me to see his chest.

“Why didn’t he tell me?”

“You’ll have to ask him about that one. My best guess ishe didn’t want to manipulate you into getting back together with him, using the I-almost-died card,” she said while holding her hand up and ordering another glass. “Now, I know I promised to stay out of it, and honestly, it’s the reason why I’ve been avoiding you, but I’m done with that.”

I waited for her to go on.

“I know he fucked up big time, Att, but he’s really changed. He’s learned, and he wants to keep learning. Hell, he’s even fixing his relationship with his mom. I know he’d kill me for this, but you’re the reason he got through this. He came back for you, and he’s tried so hard to be patient and give you what you need—whatever you need—to get you back. I don’t know what happened last week between you two, but he’s heartbroken again, and he’s sure it’s his fault.”

I thought about all the times Noah held back, his green eyes scanning my face, reading my expression and waiting for me to take the lead. Before, he had always reached first and thought second. It was a stark difference from the Noah I used to know, and at first, it made me uneasy, but now I knew Holly was being honest with me. Every time he did it, he was trying to show me he had changed.

“I don’t think Noah will ever give up on you, but he’s definitely given up on you forgiving him right now. I don’t know if he’s got it, but he applied for a transfer back to Columbia after that last talk.”

I swallowed hard. “He’s leaving.”

“I don’t know if I should have minded my own business, but I couldn’t stand back and not tell you. If it doesn’t work, that’s fine, but at least you know. Even if you don’t change your mind, I still think he deserves that chance, for you to know all the facts before it’s done.”

“Thank you for telling me.” My voice sounded hoarse, and I cleared my throat.

“I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I kept rooting for things to work out and for Noah to say something. I thinkyou deserved to know, but Noah’s like my brother, and I guess I have an even bigger soft spot for him now. I know things weren’t always perfect, but you don’t know what it was like watching you two. The way Noah talked about you when he met you, when you first kissed, seeing you two together. You know I’m a skeptic, but it felt epic, like epic romance or some shit like that.”

I chuckled despite the heaviness in my chest. “So you’re vouching for him.”

“I’m vouching for him. I know he messed up. He knows he did. He learned. He’s much better for it.”

The waiter came and filled her cup.

“I don’t know what to say. I thought…” I started and looked away. “I don’t know what I thought, but I didn’t think this was it.”

“He’s doing much better, Att. He’s healthy now. He’s good about taking care of himself.”

The burning behind my eyes intensified. That was good. That was all I had ever wanted for him.

I left shortly after that, walking home and trying to sort myself out.

This changed everything. I had almost lost Noah. I couldn’t begin to imagine what it would have been like, in the midst of my heartbreak, to get a call from Holly telling me the paramedics didn’t make it in time. At the same time, it hurt that he had let things get that bad, that he had gone so far off the rails they had to have him committed. Noah had always been too much for me to handle.

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