Page 146 of Echoes of Us

“What?” I went with him, always following his lead.

“I’m going to make you a playlist, a corny love songs playlist, of all the songs that make me think of you. That way, when I’m acting insane and you’re fed up with me, you can fall in love with me all over again.”

“Are you going to sing them to me?”

“Try and stop me.” He fixed me with a defiant stare, almost daring me to egg him on. I could never grow tired of him. I loved this fire in him.

The song changed, and Noah checked his phone. “This one’s no good.” He reached for it and changed the song.

“Why?”

“George Michael’s ‘Careless Whisper,’” he explained.

I gave him a blank stare. Noah’s laugh bubbled.

“You have so much to learn, Atty. It’s about a bad breakup. It doesn’t apply to us.”

I nodded along in understanding while he played something else and started talking about it.

CHAPTER

TWENTY-TWO

AFTER

The world felt empty again.

I didn’t block his number on my phone, but he didn’t attempt to call or text. I didn’t know how to make peace with this void he left behind. It felt like things were finally getting better, but now I was back in the pits. I didn’t want to get out of bed, go to class, or face training and see him. Noah occupied so much space in my life while not being a part of it and I was tired of it. I needed to accept that our last kiss was truly the last and move on. This time, for real.

Colin and Ezra were worried about me. Their constant check-ins felt eerily similar to that February, a time when their concern was relentless, masked under casual pretenses. It was draining. This whole situation was draining.

At training the next day, we each pretended the other didn’t exist. No head nods or tentative smiles. I didn’t turn towards the sound of his voice or his laugh, and I didn’tsearch for his smile. I forced my eyes to look elsewhere. I began questioning myself. Was I too rash? Did I let my temper get the best of me? Noah triggered me in such a way that anything he said could turn me vicious.

Every time I remembered the pain of him leaving me, I wanted to lash out.

The rest of the week was excruciating. I pushed through, telling myself it was only a few more weeks until the end of the term. Then, I could have time to heal again, hoping it wouldn’t hurt as much when we returned.

Fortunately, I had midterms and the move to deal with, which helped me stay distracted. Colin was still staying in LA, and he had gotten a new apartment to move into. He asked me to go with him. We had to have everything packed and ready to go in three weeks. I spent most of my free time either packing or in the library with Georgia.

Before our last practice game, I pulled my shoulder during training. Nothing bad, but enough to bench me for it. For the first time in my life, I was glad I didn’t have to play. Being on the court with Noah, depending on him, felt impossible to me now. I still went to training even with the restrictions.

On Friday, I wished I had stayed home. Four members were graduating this year, and they chatted about the end-of-the-year party, which I had no plans to attend. The last thing I needed was to be drunk around Noah again. David had brought a speaker, and they were taking turns playing music while training lazily and talking about the party. I stood farther away, next to Colin, using him as a buffer to keep my distance.

“I don’t have a problem with it. It’s just not my vibe,” Noah said.

I sighed. David was playing a song, praising it, but Noah obviously disagreed.

“You have the weirdest fucking taste in music,” David told him.

“Because I don’t listen to top charts?” Noah replied.

“David’s not wrong,” Hank added.

I glanced over at them. Noah was shrugging, not smiling, but not upset either.

“Play something. I’ll bet you anything it’ll be something from the eighties,” David challenged.

“It’s good music,” Noah insisted.

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