Page 12 of Protectors

“Exactly. I don’t want to push her at all. Can’t say I wouldn’t mind seein’ her round with our baby fillin’ her stomach, but it will happen when it’s supposed to,” I admit to myself, thinking of the times we saw Alana with her nephews and niece in her arms or when they were playing.

Alana is a very hands-on aunt and didn’t hesitate to help her sister with her kids. I imagine she was the same way when she was in Clinton with Savage and Reagan. She gave them baths, prepared meals and snacks, played on the floor with them, and read them stories. Especially Kody. He’s got his aunt wrapped around his little finger and loves every second of time he gets to spend with Alana. I know how he feels because I feel the same way.

“I agree with you. The second she’s on board with havin’ our baby, we’ll make it happen. In the meantime, I wouldn’t mind practicin’ with her as often as she’ll let us.”

We don’t need any words as we both get lost in our own heads about the various ways we want to shower Alana with love and practice making a baby with her. These thoughts don’t stop circling through my mind when I eventually fall asleep after Ghost follows our girl into dreamland. My dreams are filled with Alana and building our family and creating as many memories as possible over the years she chooses to fill us with her light and breath of fresh air.

Chapter Six

Alana

WAKING UP, I’M on fireand can’t move in the bed that feels softer than a cloud. Even when I try to stretch out my body, I can’t move. Opening my eyes, I see Ghost and Geek on either side of me asleep. Looking at Geek first, I take in his long brown hair fanned out across the pillow under his head. His face is completely relaxed with his long eyelashes resting against his face. Ghost and Geek have the kind of lashes any girl would kill for. They’re long and full and emphasize their eyes more than anyone else I’ve ever met in my life. Geek has one arm resting under his head with the other arm over my body holding me tight as if I’ll disappear on him. Turning to look at Ghost, I take in his lean shoulders and chest that are on display. Other than his back and upper arms, he has no tattoos and I’ve always wondered why. His dirty blond hair is sticking up and it looks as if his hand is running through the short strands while my head rests on his other arm. Both men are sexy as hell even if they’re human heaters.

Slowly, I try to slide out of bed without waking either man. They’ve been getting up with me when I have nightmares and don’t go back to sleep if I can’t. Yes, I have nightmares almost nightly about Terrence and what he’s put me through for the last year of my life. I feel so fucking stupid for allowing him to not only put his hands on me and abuse me mentally and emotionally but for having the ability to still affect my life with the nightmares and not wanting to leave the safety of the compound. When I was with Jameson and Reagan, we went to dinner one time away from the clubhouse because I didn’t want to be in public. The only reason I allowed them to take me out was because my brother begged me to get away from the compound. When we were in Cedar Bay, I didn’t leave the compound at all and Haley was good with it. The truth is I wanted to go to her diner and help her when she had to work, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave. Instead, I hung out with my nephews and niece and tried to forget about Terrence and all the hell he brought to my life.

I manage to get out of bed without waking either man. Looking back at them, I take in what I can see of them and my mouth waters with the thought of them in my life and bed. I haven’t ever dated a lot and Terrence was my first real boyfriend. It should’ve been obvious from the very beginning that he wasn’t the man for me because I’ve always compared any man in my life to Ghost and Geek and what I remembered about them when we were growing up. None of them ever compared and no one ever will. These two men are among the best and I will do everything I can to make them happy and feel as if they’re making the right decision by taking a chance with me. Yes, I overheard them talking last night and I can say I’m fully on board with them. I can also reluctantly agree that while I don’t feel as if I have to get over any heartbreak when it comes to Terrence, I do have to heal from the abuse he put me through. So, seeing the counselor will help me with that.

Making my way into the bathroom after grabbing my phone, I close the door and turn on the shower while sending a message to my parents.

Me: I’m in Pine View now. We got in yesterday and all I wanted to do was crash. I’m sorry I didn’t message you when we got here. I love you all so much.

Setting my phone on the counter by the sink, I strip down and take care of business while grabbing a towel from the shelf to hang by the combined bathtub and shower. There’s already bottles of the body wash, shampoo, and conditioner I use on the shelves. A brand-new razor is also sitting there waiting for me to use and I’m thankful because I would have to go out and get a new one since I’ve lost mine somewhere along the way.

For the first time since the attack, I allow myself to turn and look in the mirror over the sink. While I’ve looked long enough to make sure my hair looked okay, I haven’t fully accepted everything that’s been done to me by Terrence. Today is the day I start to take back the power I’ve been giving him over me. I look at the fading bruises that are a nasty yellow and green color on my face and neck. The small cuts that cover my skin are mostly healed and won’t leave scars behind. A few scabs linger and I hate that they’re still there. My skin is pale and the freckles I’ve always loathed stand out against my skin even more than normal. On my neck a few of the bruises show Terrence’s fingers where they dug into my flesh. Since I’m standing naked in front of the mirror I can see the stitches on my chest from where he sliced my skin open. Honestly, I’m glad I don’t even remember him doing that because I imagine it hurt like hell.

“Tink. Are you okay, baby?” Ghost’s smooth, deep voice breaks me from the thoughts racing through my head as I turn to look at him in the doorway of the bathroom.

I feel the tears sliding down my face and have no clue when I started crying. Apparently I was so focused on inspecting the damage that’s been healing and fading with time to realize Terrence still has the power to hurt me. I rush to Ghost’s arms and wrap myself around him.

“I’m sorry. This is the first time I’ve allowed myself to look at what Terrence has done to me,” I whisper to him as he wraps his strong arms around my body and holds me close.

“I’ve got you, Tink,” he whispers, pressing a kiss against the top of my head as Geek enters the bathroom and hugs me from behind, squishing me between the two men I want to keep in my life.

“We’ve both got you, Sweet Angel,” Geek whispers, kissing my shoulder. “I know you want a shower, but you can’t get your cast wet and I’m not sure if you’ll be able to get your chest wet yet with the stitches still there. Would you mind if we get Doc in here to check you out before you take a full shower?”

“That’s a good idea. I honestly wasn’t even thinking about the stitches in my chest. I just wanted to take a shower since it feels as if it’s been forever since I was able to take one. I’ve mainly been doing baths and washing up with a wet washcloth,” I say, eying the hot water filling the bathroom with steam.

---