Page 52 of Pretty Little Disaster

I know that Nic is in deep with Dario’s organization, and I’m certain that what he does for him can be brutal sometimes, but I've never seen him affected like this before. Dario must have asked something of him that's pushed him too far.

He eventually comes out of the shower, smelling all fresh and woodsy and when he takes the seat beside me and drags me onto his lap, I allow him to rest his head on my chest while his hand strokes circles over my tummy.

“I don’t think I’m going to get the district, Lorna.” He sounds defeated. “Despite all I’ve done, and all of my efforts.” He shakes his head.

“What are you talking about?” I shuffle back so I can look him in the eyes.

“Bruno Monti is failing, he has no sons. Dario thought his district would be a good fit for me,” he starts to explain. “But Bruno has a nephew and he’s made it clear to Dario that when the time comes, he intends to make a claim.”

“Well, it’s a good thing Dario is your brother-in-law as well as the boss,” I remind him cheerily and when Nic slowly shakes his head again, I stare back at him curiously.

“Bruno is backing Gio’s claim, he’s personally asked Dario to consider him. Leaders of the other districts have also voiced their support for Gio. Dario’s leadership would come under serious question if he wasn’t seen to be listening to them." His voice comes out weak, and I feel his sadness. Ever since I’ve known Nic he’s wanted to lead his own district. Of course, back when we were younger I thought he was a cocky prick that was full of shit, but I’ve come to learn differently.

“There will be other districts, Nic.” I try to make him feel positive.

“Unfortunately, not. All the other districts are secured with healthy bloodlines. This was my only chance.” He scrubs his hand over his face.

“A lot can happen, Nic, don’t give up on your dreams.”

“And what about your dreams, Lorna? I’ve never even asked you about them, and I'm pretty sure they didn’t include getting knocked up by a failure like me.” He laughs at himself, and I hate it.

“I never really had any. I guess I always wanted a family somewhere down the line, maybe not so soon, but life happens and dreams change with it.” I offer him a hopeful smile.

“Come on, there must have been something you wanted.” Nik isn’t letting up.

“I wanted my dad to care about me, I wanted that more than anything else in the world. I wanted to see him more than just twice a year, and not just on special occasions. But like I said, dreams change.”

“And what's your new dream?” He stares back at me looking almost scared.

“This…” I place my hand over his. “The unplanned, shocking, incredible little family we’re going to make, whether you run a district or not. Maybe one day I’d like to use that degree I worked so hard to get and start up my own business but, right now, I want to be an amazing mom to this little person.”

“You already are.” Nic must like what he’s hearing because he smiles and when a sharp, little nudge comes from under his palm, that smile grows even bigger.

“He clearly agrees too.” He smiles up at me, before slipping his hand up to my face and dragging me onto his lips.

“But I’m not giving up. I want the best for you. My father worked his ass off to become a leader, he spent my whole childhood preparing me to take over from him. I’m not going to roll over to this man, who thinks he can push me out by offering Dario a few rounds of golf and talking a good talk to the other leaders. I’ve worked too hard, and done too much.” There's something haunting in his eyes that makes me curious.

“And what is it exactly that you’ve done, Nic?” I ask, if I’m to be this man’s wife and the mother of his child, surely I deserve to know.

“Lor–”

“I know it’s bad and it doesn’t scare me. Just say it.” I take his face in my hands and plead with him with my eyes to trust me, then when he shakes his head I growl in frustration.

“If you know, then I don’t need to say it.” He swallows thickly.

“But I–”

“And if you never ask me again, then I’ll never have to tell you,” he interrupts me, and this time his eyes are pleading with me.

“Nothing would change the way I feel about you.” I know we have to leave the conversation here, but I need him to know that.

“And howdoyou feel about me?” His forehead creases, and I realize that I’ve never really told him. I’m having his baby, I agreed to marry him, does that not say enough?

“If you know, I don’t need to say it.” I use his words against him as I kiss his cheek and wrap my arms around his waist and when I hear him growl in frustration, I smile to myself but keep my guard firmly in place.

NIC

ONE WEEK LATER

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